5 Napkin Burger Might Be An Asshole

In case you haven't heard, New York City was hit yesterday with a bitch of a hurricane named Sandy. The only way you wouldn't know about this is if you live under a rock or a bridge like a skanky gutter troll, so yeah, maybe Springs1 hasn't heard yet. Anyway, it's pretty bad around here. Trees are on the road, there are millions of people without any power and the subways are not running because there is more water in the tunnels than there is in a Jack and Coke at a dive bar. It is a time when you really learn to set your priorities in order like food, water and survival. However, if you are the general manager at 5 Napkin Burger in Hell's Kitchen, your only priority is to get that restaurant back open so you can serve some damn hamburgers!

I was contacted by a reader, who shall remain nameless since we don't want to get him or her in trouble, about an email about their job at 5 Napkin. It was sent by the general manager last night at 8:00 PM, which is pretty much when Sandy was at the height of her bitchiness. It alerted all hourly employees to expect to open the next day. So while buildings were falling apart and tankers were being washed ashore, this asshole was all about "how can I sell some more bacon cheddar burgers." This morning at 11;45, they got another email telling them that since the subways are not running, to take a cab in and they will be reimbursed the money. I was told that this was the same offer given to them during last year's Hurricane Irene and they are still awaiting that reimbursement money.

Hey, 5 Napkin Burger in Hell's Kitchen: have some fucking compassion, assholes. Most of your employees probably don't even have fucking electricity so how in the hell are they supposed to iron their uniforms before they show up to work. Do you really want a bunch of wrinkled servers taking orders today? Maybe some folks didn't sleep last night since there were 90 mph blowing through their apartments but sure, you wanna sell some Lobster Roll Sliders, so by all means force your employees to figure out how to get to work.

It's really a double-edged sword for those if us in the restaurant industry because if we don't work, we don't make money. As much as someone would want to stay home and pump the Hudson River out of their bedroom, maybe they need to go to work so they can make a few dollars to replace all the food in their fridge that is spoiling since the power has been out for 18 hours. Being a waiter isn't like working on salary in an office where if the place shuts down, you'll still get paid. When restaurants close down, we lose money and we don't get a chance to make it up. We can't claim a personal or vacation day because for most restaurant workers, those are as foreign as 401K's and pensions.

Maybe the right thing to do was for 5 Napkin Burger to see how many servers were able to make it to work and how many of them wanted to do so. It's just plain asshole behavior to demand attendance the morning after New York City's worst storm in the history of ever. I get it: 5 Napkin needs to make money. I also get that some servers would want to be there if they could. But there has to be a balance of business and compassion. If your employee says he's not going to be able to make it into work because of a natural disaster unlike anyone proceeding it, then you just have to buck up and say, "Well, we'll do without you, but as soon as you can get back to work, we'll be ready to have you." If the mayor of New York City is telling people to stay home unless they absolutely must go out, I don't think selling french fries is enough of a reason to change his mind.

To my friend who has to go to 5 Napkin today, I'm sorry. I hope you either figure out a way to make it to work or your boss changes his mind. If you do go to work, I hope you make shitloads of tips and if you end up staying at home I hope missing out on another day of tips doesn't put you too far into a hole. And speaking of a-holes: 5 Napkin Burger.

Please share this, so maybe it will make it to the manager at 5 Napkin Burger on Ninth Ave.



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For Travis S.

I went to dinner last night at a place called 5 Napkin Burger. They serve all grass-fed organic beef that is sustainable and all that, but the reason I go there is because the burgers are melt in your mouth delicious and they serve totally healthy cocktails. Well, the cocktail I get has a blackberry in it or something so I assume that it has some kind of anti-oxidants and I also look at it as a fruit serving for the day. But a special shout out to our server Travis who is one of those waiters that I aspire to be, but may never actually become. He was efficient, polite, funny, knowledgeable, always there when we needed him and super friendly. In other words, the antithesis of me. Or maybe he was just a great actor and only pretended like he gave a shit when in actuality he was in the side stand bitching and groaning about the douche bags at booth 7. I left a card for The Bitchy Waiter there, so maybe he will see this. If you are out there, Travis, give me a sign! Some things that Travis did that I can only dream of doing at work:

• He smiled. (I try but it hurts my face.)
  
• He went to get my mayonnaise as soon as I asked for it so my burger didn't get cold while he disappeared into the vapors of the back of the house. (It's not that I want to forget their mayo, it just happens...)
  
• He alerted us that our second round of drinks were on the way when they seemed to be taking a long time. (I always just think, "they'll get 'em when they get em.)
• When we asked to put a portion of the bill on one credit card and another amount on the other, he said "okay" and then did it. (I sigh and then say okay.)
• When he served our cocktails he bent his knees into a squat like they used to teach the Playboy bunnies to to do at the Playboy Club so the drinks don't spill. (I spilled some vodka martini on a lady the other day and told her "good thing it's clear, huh?")
• He didn't judge us after we each cleared our plates of 10 oz.burgers and crispy piles of french fries and then ordered a side of onion rings so we had something to finish our cocktails with. His reply? "Onion rings will go better with cocktails than dessert would anyway." (He knows how to make an alcoholic feel good.)
  
• When he brought us our second round of silver he wasn't irritated that we would be taking up his prime booth for more time. (Or at least he concealed it which I find practically impossible to do.)
  
• I saw him laughing with a co-worker instead of complaining, whining, bitching, crying our cursing. (I laugh at work too, but it's usually at someone and not with someone.)
• He thanked us when we left and told us to have a good night. (It's not that I don't want to say good bye to my tables, it's just that sometimes I am busy in the side stand laughing at someone or taking a sip of my cocktail.)

Thank you Travis for a wonderful dining experience. Good job. Kudos. Job well done.

Oh and go here to look at my Etsy shop, okay?

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