We Have a Winner!

After literally minutes and minutes of tabulating the dozens of votes, a winner has been determined for the International Pity-Bait Day. Striking just the right chord of ambiguity, humor and pity, the winning comment received 30% of the vote. And the winner is:

"Why do they feel so lumpy?"

Congratulations to Donna Reed on being the first ever Master Pity Baiter. Her comment received the most votes but it was a close race squeaking by with only 3% more votes than the runner up. Donna Reed, you should be proud. You are a pathetic pity-baiter! Donna Reed also writes a blog that you should go check out, My Dirty Kitchen Floor: Pages of a Dubiously Pissed Off Housewife.

Here are how the votes turned out:

30%- Why do they feel so lumpy?
27%- And then there are the bed bugs...
17%- I feel so guilty feeding my pets non-organic, but I can't afford anything else.
14%- Carnie Wilson did it and I know that deep, deep, deep, down... I have it in me too...
12%- I wish Oprah would respond to my letters...She would know what to do.

Thank you to the other finalists for trying so hard but you're just not quite pitiful enough. No one is as pathetic as Donna Reed! Donna Reed, you will be contacted so that you can give us your address in order for your prizes (that's right, plural!) to be mailed to you. They will be coming to you from around the country! (One from New York City and one from Portland, Oregon.) Be on the look out for an original one of kind, created just for you Bitchy Waiter necklace and a framed citation stating that you have been honored with the title of Master Pity-Baiter, 2011.

Thanks to everyone who played along with this silly time suck of a game. I truly need a life. I truly do.

Click here to see her prize and order one for yourself!

Master Pity Baiter 2011 Winner Is...

As you know, International Pity-Bait Day was February 1. We had literally dozens of people participate around the world. The trick to writing a brilliant Pity-Bait post is making it just vague enough to merit attention but not so specific that the reader knows what is happening. After much deliberation, the organizers have narrowed it down to five finalists. We simply could not decide who deserved the most pity, so we need your help. Below, you will find the five Pity-Baiters who we felt deserved to be a winner. However, we have turned that decision over to you. Please comment on your favorite. You have until Monday February 7 at noon to cast your vote and we will announce the Master Pity Baiter on the morning of Tuesday, February 8th.

And the nominees are:

1. Cynthia Swenceski: I wish Oprah would respond to my letters...She would know what to do.
2. Anne Marie Dailey: I feel so guilty feeding my pets non-organic, but I can't afford anything else.
3. Gretchen H. Webber-Manzella: Carnie Wilson did it and I know that deep, deep, deep, down... I have it in me too...
4. Corinne Rogers: And then there are the bed bugs...
5. Donna Reed: Why do they feel so lumpy?

Please comment below with your favorite. Just type in the number that you think deserves your pity the most. And nominees, this is your chance to get all of your friends to come and vote for you (and get some traffic to this blog...) The winner will be contacted via a Facebook message and we will ask for your address so we can mail you your prize. We will more than likely only use your address for that purpose. The prize is special. And real.



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February 1, 2011 is Very Important

In my continuing quest to do any type of job that pays me a decent hourly wage, for nine hours today I will be selling pottery at the New York International Gift Fair today. No food service, no apron and no tips. Just me, a clipboard and hundreds of ceramic pieces. Anyone else at the fair? Come say hi. Since it is the ass crack of dawn over here (7:30 AM) I only have a moment to write about two things.

First off, on Tuesday February 1, I hope you will join me here in New York City for Out From Behind the Apron. WNYC is inviting servers and bartenders from across the city to share insights about the dining public, discuss industry trends, reveal pet peeves and trade behind-the-scenes stories. I will be speaking and if you come find me, I will shake your hand and pretend to be your bet friend in the whole wide world. The event should be interesting because they are essentially giving me and anyone else who wants to come, the chance to vent and bitch. And then they'll put it on the radio. Fun. You have to RSVP so go to this link for more information.

The second thing I want to talk about also happens tomorrow and it's International Pity-Bait Day on Facebook. A friend of mine created this day and it just makes me laugh. It's sorta (okay not sorta, but completely) making fun of those people who put as their Facebook status things like: "Sigh. I thought it was going to happen for me, but I guess the universe had other ideas..." If you don't see status' like that, either your friends are a happy lot or you have them hidden like I do. Go to this link for more info and join the depressing fun. Some people think it's mean to make fun of people. I think it's fun. And I hear he is somehow going to make a contest out of it.

Okay. I am off. Sorry for the lame ass post. Don't hate me. Comment and tell me you don't hate me....


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