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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Casting Notice for Restaurant Workers

Have you ever wanted to be on a television show? If so, read on. I was contacted this week by a person who is casting and developing a new television show about restaurants. Once I calmed my nerves and took a couple of deep breaths, I read the rest of the email to learn that she was not interested in me. She is, however, looking for people like you! She asked that I spread the word around so I have copied her casting notice below. Please read and share. And you better let me know if one of you bitches ends up on TV so I can be jealous and do tequila shots as I sit alone in the dark all bitter.

I would do it myself, but my boss doesn't need to be reminded that The Bitchy Waiter works in his restaurant.



Do you OWN or WORK in a RESTAURANT fraught with WORKPLACE DRAMA?
Do you have a BICKERING WAITSTAFF?  Are they constantly ARGUING about shifts, days off, and who gets the best tables?
Do the FRONT OF THE HOUSE and BACK OF THE HOUSE have so many COMMUNICATION ISSUES it’s amazing anything comes out right at all?
Did the BARTENDER and a SERVER break-up and now they REFUSE to speak to each other - even during the Friday night dinner rush?! 
If you own or work in a restaurant where staff issues are threatening to spill out into the dining room, a new show from a MAJOR CABLE NETWORK wants to help.   Our experts are ready to take on any issue, from bad communication, jealousy, and fragile egos to the poor multi-tasker who slows everyone down and the line cook who loses his temper over every single substitution. They can take the heat in and out of the kitchen, and they’re eager to test and teach your staff to put their differences aside, respect one another, and work together to make your restaurant the very model of teamwork and efficiency. The show will be EDGY, EMOTIONAL, and HILARIOUS as people confront their issues big and small, and the audience at home will have their eyes opened to all that the people who make and serve their food deal with on top of keeping their fickle customers happy.
Please email with your NAME, CONTACT INFO, a recent PHOTO and some information about where you work and what kinds of workplace drama you are dealing with. 



anne marie in philly said...

HOW in the hell do you, esteemed bitchy waiter, NOT qualify for this?

sounds like a bribe might be in order!

Anonymous said...

It sounds like they want a whole restaurant and not just one person. Hell, I'd easily qualify as a writer for that show, but if they want something actually real they just need to go to their local sandwich shop.

Nathan Partyka said...

I wonder how real the "drama" is going to be seeing as though restaurants are full of aspiring actors/actresses?

I think it's going to be a challenge for them to seek out truly genuine situations.

I really hope they find them though, and not some places where the only reason they got on was because they brained stormed ideas during a shift meeting.

Sarah said...

Did you see this? Crazytimes in Beantown!

Side of Bullshite said...

is that a joke?

Side of Bullshite said...

is this a joke?

The Bride said...

Do all CASTING NOTICES use so many CAPS locks in their SCRIPT? It's reall fucking ANNOYING to read.

PS the CAPTCHA that I have to PUT IN to post this comment is "YOU JERK". . Snort.

CityGirl said...

I love this idea. I also love that your boss does know it's you, BW, working for him/her.
I love that you are given freedom of speech and today, I was behind on your posts and got to read three in a row.
Better than Christmas!

Fool Critic said...

It's like Springs1 is doing the copy-writing for job ads now.

Are YOU not a ***LAZY ASS BITCH***???? Then YOU will have the ******OPPORTUNITY***** to bring ME RAAAAAAAAAAANCCHHH!!! Please apply by REPLYING to my COMMENT so I can WRITE ******LOTS***** of COMMENTS back!!!!11!1 FUCK YOU!