Get some Bitchy Waiter in your email!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

A Valentine's Day Prayer for Servers



God, please be with me today as I am bombarded with lovebirds 
who will sit in my station all night and look at each other all googly-eyed.
Give me the strength to not hate them when they order the $29.99 Valentine's Day Special, which consists of an app, two entrees and a dessert 
and normally would cost around $40.00 and I would get tipped at least $8-10 but tonight will only net me about $6-7. 
God grant me the sanity to accept the things I cannot change, like the fact that some people will be out to dinner for the first time in 12 months;
Give me the courage to change the things I can, like a burger that is under-cooked but not one that is over-cooked;
I also ask to earn the wisdom to know the difference between a man who is there with his wife and a man who is there with his mistress. 

Please be with me when that lady comes in from the street who normally sells bootleg DVD's but tonight will be selling plastic long-stemmed roses that light up; be with me so I know not to swat that bitch out of the restaurant with a rolled-up newspaper the same way I would a fly or a dog who just peed on the rug. 
I will be trusting that the kitchen will make all things right
if I surrender to their will;
And that I may be reasonably happy with this shift
and supremely happy when I get to leave with a pocket full of blood money.
Forever in the next.
Amen.




Click here to follow The Bitchy Waiter on Twitter.
Click here to find The Bitchy Waiter on Facebook.


 

10 comments:

JoeinVegas said...

Good luck. At least your place will be filled tonight.

Anonymous said...

Love this, good Luck to the server army tonight!
Anyone care to answer if the quanitity of people eating out tonight (more tips?) makes up for the horrors of working VD? Also if the special is $29.99 would normally be twice that would the tip be based on the "normal" price?

BW you are awesome.

Anonymous said...

Last year, I waited on this bitch,. We had a set menu. A set menu. She freaked out cause she wanted a side of potatoes. Freaked out. Wrote a damning yelp review . She left all pissy. I hope she got laid; she was an uptight bitch.

A set menu means. A set menu. No sides, no extras, just drink your wine, order an app, wait, and eat.

Valentines means you are gonna have to wait.

Georgette said...

This is why we went out on Tuesday night. I had purchased a coupon, $40 for $20 at the local steak house. The total came to $60. I tipped $15. I think our waiter was happy.

I know how to tip, but he did point out to me the receipt for the original cost and what was going on my debit card. I assume he's been stiffed in the past.

servertori said...

First of all, I damn nearly peed myself laughing as I read this. Bitchy Waiter, you never disappoint!

And to Georgette: That server had balls (although I may only feel this way because I have none myself)! I feel like going out of the way to point out the original and discounted price is a little tacky...

...and could easily cause customer, like you, who know how to tip well feel slightly patronized and/or offended!

Anyways, Kudos for being the type of table that servers love to wait on. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my tables will be filled with customers like you tonight :-)

Nathan Partyka said...

Good luck to all of you out there that are on the front lines of the Valentines Day ambush.

Georgette said...

I had a good example set for me years ago. I was visiting an aunt who was on the skids and she tipped 20% at lunch. She said she knew what wait staff went through as all of my cousins had held waiter/waitress jobs.

I'm the type who lingers after my in-laws pay the bill so I can add to their 10% if they're paying the bill. Or I just ask the amount of the check and say that I'll leave the entire tip. My MIL is up to 15% and gets upset with me if I leave more but too bad.

The thought of having someone pay to wait on me just chaps my hide no end.

anne marie in philly said...

smooches to our fave BW on VD!

Anonymous said...

You should always tip a little extra if something is on sale, so that you're tipping on the original pricd. You're still saving money, and that way the server isn't getting screwed. Where I work, Wednesday is "half off pizza day". The servers refer to it as "half off tip day".

maxi said...

I like working VD, nice and easy tables of 2, no hassle, generally happy people. Easy.