It's National Margarita Day!!

Forget Ash Wednesday. Today is National Margarita Day, y'all! Wipe that palm frond ash off your forehead and get your ass down to the nearest restaurant and order a margarita. By the end of the night, the only thing I wanna see on your face is some salt and a "I can't believe I drank so much" grin. I will be at work tonight but you know what my shift drink will be this evening, right? (Eddie, on the rocks, please.) Truth be told, I kinda look at every day as National Margarita Day. My dream faucet is one that pours tequila and when I see salt on the sidewalk during a snow storm, my first inclination is to go get a glass and rim it. (Yeah, I said I want to rim something...) If any of you were in my station tonight, I would be the waiter suggestively selling margaritas and tequila shots, not so I can up my sales but because as a half Mexican/half Regular, I feel it is my civic duty.

So go out into the world today with tequila in you water bottle, salt in your pocket and limes in your bag. If you see a needy person on the street, offer them a margarita and know that you did the right thing. Drink, my friends. Drink!

Please share this because everyone needs to know about this important day. Yes, it is also the birthday of Drew Barrymore, Lea Solanga and Sidney Poitier, but you know they are all out drinking and celebrating for the right reason: National Margarita Day!



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Baby Needs a New Pair of Shoes

And by "baby needs a new pair of shoes" I mean "Bitchy Waiter needs some margaritas." Cinco de Mayo is only one week away. Because I love to recognize my heritage, I always make sure to go out and celebrate Mexico's Independence but guzzling frozen margaritas and eating nachos. And you should too. Mexico is our neighbor and good neighbors support each other. Sometimes we borrow a cup of sugar from our neighbor and sometimes we steal their Sunday New York Times but on May 5th, we drink Tequila for Mexico. But I need your help. How can you help? By buying a Bitchy Waiter necklace. Each one is hand-crafted with love and for every one you purchae you will know that five dollars of the cost goes directly into the Bitchy Waiter Cinco de Mayo Fund. This fund will provide lasting relief for yours truly who will take those five dollars to Arriba, Arriba and spend it on a frozen margarita. What do you get out of it? Well, besides earning my respect and admiration, you will walk away with a one-of-a kind piece of art that you can wear yourself, give to a loved one or even let the cat play with . I don't care what the hell you do with it, really.

So do Mexico a favor. Click here and help contribute to the Bitchy Waiter Cinco de Mayo Fund. You'll be glad you did. And so will I. Mexico and I both say "muchos gracias!"

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I stand corrected: Cinco de Mayo isn't the commemoration of Mexico's Independence. It's the anniversary of the Battle of Puebla against the French... What do I know? I'm only half Mexican...

It's National Margarita Day!!

I have pulled myself out of my self-imposed break to alert you to an important fact: today is National Margarita Day, y'all. I know this because it is on Facebook, therefore it must be true. Thankfully for me, I am currently in Texas where Margaritas pour freely from the tap. Seriously, here in Texas, restaurants don't bring you water when you sit down, they just hand you a pitcher of Margarita. People wash their hair in Margaritas, dogs drink Margaritas out of their bowls and I once went through a car wash where the final rinse was with Rose's Lime Juice. Since today is such an auspicious occasion, it is our duty to go out and get drunk. We do not want to disappoint whoever it was that created this day, so get out there and order one for lunch. Or if you're like me, for breakfast.

In other news, being in Texas has reminded me how much fucking roadkill there is here. Driving into town yesterday to hit the Target for some emergency nail polish, I came across six different dead skunks on the road. How many damn skunks are there that six of them die in one night just while crossing one four-mile stretch of road? Crazy. I also have seen a dead deer, an o'possum and a cat. I guess it is the equivalent of being in New York City and seeing a half rotted rat laying in the tracks of the A train. Sigh, I miss New York City.

Anyhoo, back to tequila and this wonderful day that allows us to whisper sweet nothings into the ear of Margarita. Whether yours is frozen, on the rocks, straight up, with salt, without salt, strawberry, raspberry, mango, original or bacon, get one today. And don't feel like you need to wait until your work day is over. If possible, have it at work. Or at home. In bed. Or on the couch. Or at a bar. Or a club. Or a movie. Wherever, you are and whatever you do today, have a Margarita. It's almost as important as paying your taxes. It might actually be more important.
Happy National Margarita Day.


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