I am moved to write because today some lady threw her baby into a mega-stroller and rolled it into my station. The baby looked like it was a few weeks old and I don't know why the fuck anyone would drag their weeks old baby to eat at my place, but she did. Actually I should say her nanny did. Mother just talked on the phone and took cell phone pictures of it. Maybe she was Grandmother. Bitch looked old. First thing: "Can you turn down the music? The baby is asleep." Whatever. Point of story is when they left. I went to clear the table and there was a tiny diaper rolled into a ball that was sitting with the dirty dishes and used napkins. Like I won't notice a fucking dirty diaper. So I have decided to make a list of things to not leave at your table:
- diapers
- snot rags
- babies
- trash from other restaurants
- hair pieces
- magazines that I don't want to read like Time or Ladies Home Journal
- crappy cell phones
- your bad attitude
- odor
- junk mail
- your phone number (ugly people only)
- apple cores, banana peels or sunflower seeds
- used gum
- gum of any kind
- dirty diapers