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Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Other Side of the Menu

So I went to breakfast today at a restaurant and sat at a table and had someone wait on me. I would normally be doing the serving today, but my asswipe boss closed down the restaurant I worked at with only three days notice and now this Bitchy Waiter doesn't have a job. I am just Bitchy right now. And mad. And bitter. And unemployed. Anyhoo. As I was a customer today, I looked around at what the waitress had to deal with and I felt her pain.

I saw the old couple who sat at one table to order and then a few minutes later got up to change tables. As she shoved the table out of her way she barked out, "we're changing tables, but we'll have the same order." Really, lady? Do you think the waitress is as dumb as you are fat? I am certain that she assumes that you still want your eggs cooked the same way even though you are sitting at a different table now. Or does the lady think that if you sit at one table you have to eat oatmeal and at another table you have to eat cream of wheat? What a dumb bitch.

I saw the man next to me eat his meal and then when the waitress thought he was ready to go he ordered another bagel. That, sir, is annoying. She wants you out of her station when you are done, not stick around for 20 minuter longer for you to nibble on a bagel as you and your annoying girlfriend discuss the merits of the PC/Mac Guy commercials. Seriously, they discussed this for about an eternity. "How did they get the parts? How often do they shoot a commercial? Did you know that one guy really works for Microsoft?" I wanted to stick a fork in her throat to get her to shut up about it. When the bagel came out, he sent it back because it wasn't toasted enough. But he didn't say it nicely. Oh no. He did not realize there are two ways to ask for something. Nice: "Hi, I'm sorry, but would it be possible for this to be toasted a bit more, please?" His way: (with eye roll) "Uh, this needs to be toasted. It's warm but it's not toasted." Then the whole time it was being toasted to his liking, he was craning his neck around trying to see when it was coming back. And sighing. What a douche.

I ate my waffle and enjoyed my time on the other side of the menu. I left her a 28% tip.



Anonymous said...

A 28%tip? When are you coming in to let me wait on you?

Anonymous said...

I am a bartender and I am so over stupid morons who think that because I am serving them drinks that they are better than me!! Really, are they that stupid? Do they not realize I am the one holding the bottle and controlling the amount of liquor they are or are not getting?

ShelleBelle said...

You are so cool. I hope this lay-off situation turns into a golden opportunity for you. :-)