Wednesday, August 26, 2009
You Say Potato I Say Potato
Why do people go all nuts and balls over sweet potato fries? Sure, they may be a bit better for you than the lowly russet or Yukon gold, but they still get sliced up and dropped into a bubbling vat of oil and saturated fat and then fried fried fried. But when people find out that they can have sweet potato fries as an option it suddenly justifies the sixteen ounce hamburger they are having that is covered with melted cheese and the milkshake to wash it all down. Mothers always choose the sweet potato fries for their kids even though we all know that a kid wants a real french fry and not some orange looking french fry wanna be. Unless it's a Cheeto, then that would be perfectly okay.
I guess the sweet potato is loaded with antioxidants. They help slow the aging process of the skin and organs and lower the chance of cancer and all kinds of other healthy shit. But blueberries are full of antioxidants too and no one is going to think it's okay to fry a bunch of blueberries and call it a health food. Hold the phone. Hold. The. Phone. I think I may have just created my next endeavor. I will open a health food restaurant and only serve foods that are high in antioxidants. And I will fry them all. Fried pinto beans, fried artichokes, fried prunes, fried strawberries and fried pecans. All in the name of health food! And when some physically fitness minded bitch comes in and says to me that a plate of fried prunes is not a health food, I will point out to her that the prune is full of antioxidants. And if she doesn't like my idea of health food then she can roll up her yoga mat and stuff it up her well toned vag.
The next time you have the option of sweet potato fries or real fries, do yourself a favor. Just get the real ones. That's what you want and you know it. If you really feel the need to be healthy order a fucking salad.
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