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Thursday, April 1, 2010

The End


As I sit here at my computer, I feel overcome with sadness and melancholy because after 173 posts and close to fifty bejillion hits over the last year and a half, The Bitchy Waiter is coming to an end. Some people are going to be thinking "Thank God, because all this asshole ever does is bitch about his fucking job. If he hates it so much, why doesn't he get a new one?" That is exactly what has happened. As of two days ago, I am no longer a waiter. I have completed my teaching credentials and I will be molding and shaping the minds of the future as an educator of today's youth. I will be teaching English to high schoolers in The Bronx and I am so excited about this new path my life has taken. In order to protect my identity and remain looked upon as an upstanding citizen, I will be removing this blog from the internets. I don't think it would be very wise to leave it out here and take the risk that someone may see it and think it is inappropriate material for a teacher to be writing. And to be honest, it was getting harder and harder to come up with topics that I thought people would even give shit about.

I want to thank you all for reading the blog. It means so much to me that even one person read it and to have this many followers makes me feel proud and good. So I thank you. I tip my hat to you and I kiss the world of waiting tables good bye. Au revoir, side work. Farewell, bad tippers. Kiss my ass, managers. I have a new career. As much as I will miss writing about the wonderfully crappy world of restaurant work, the time has come.

April Fool, bitches! I ain't got no other option right now but waiting tables. The Bitchy Waiter is here to stay. Happy April Fool's day.

22 comments:

M L said...

Bitch, please!

Aimée said...

Cruelty. I was about to put in a request for The Bitchy Teacher though, that would be awesome.

Corina 1.0 said...

OHHH you got me!! I is sooo happy you will still be bitchin!

Anonymous said...

You got me! And I have to say, I was so bummed out. LOVE YOUR BLOG! I haven't waited tables for 12 years now, but every word you write still rings true and makes me want to tip every waiter double, just in case it's you. Write on, bitchy waiter, write on.

Noelle said...

good one! English teacher? and high school? i was wondering..

Anonymous said...

You almost made me shit my pants.
..
Thank you for not leaving us! We all love this blog way to much for you to up and leave. Or at least pass on the legacy to me or something! haha.

Anonymous said...

Pfft, that was cruel.
Almost bad enough to make you comp my meal, or give me a free dessert or something.

Exaspera said...

You BRAT! I was getting so sad, seeing as I had just found it and read the archives recently.

GOOD ONE!! :D

Can't See Sheep said...

lmao! And here I was hoping you were going to start a new blog called the Bitchy High School English Teacher. I feel so robbed.:) Naw, glad you're staying.

purplegirl said...

LOL nice one!

Lainie said...

As I read your post, I suddenly and unexpectedly felt a small glimmer of hope that one day I too would finish school and escape this life of servitude. Then you cruelly took that from me.

Thanks for keeping it real.

Daydream Studios said...

We all know waiters make WAY more money than teachers! Nice try though.
K

Anonymous said...

I totally fell for it!!! Well done!!!

Anonymous said...

And I was going to wish you good luck, you shithead!

Anonymous said...

You bastard! I totally believed you!
I am soo glad you are not getting rid of this blog!

Cody Mac said...

Thank god it was an April Fools joke! I got so down when I first started reading this, cuz I really enjoy your wit, dude.

Keep the posts coming!

the career waitress said...

now THAT was f'ing priceless man! Loves it :)

Banquet Manager said...

All the best to you.

Anonymous said...

Actually, as talented a writer you are, an English teacher is a perfect fit. But yeah, happy you're not going anywhere. Loves me some bitchy waiter!

dirtydisher said...

Glad that was a joke..not only do I love this blog, but, serving pays better than teaching.

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