Maria...I Just Met a Girl Named Maria

As I mentioned before, I have been living high on the hog and eating out a lot lately. A few days ago I went to a restaurant that is pretty well known here in the city. I won't say the name of it, but let's just say it is owned by an Iron Chef. Uh huh. Iron Chef. Needless to say the food was delicious. The mashed potatoes were so good that I wanted to order a tub full so I could soak in them, sink to the bottom and then eat my way out. I also had a double baked potato that made my toes tingle. Yeah, I ate two carbs. The food was so good there that I even liked the collard greens. Ordinarily I don't touch a vegetable with a ten foot breadstick, but these were so good that I actually enjoyed them and didn't have to just swallow them whole with big gulps of water. My steak was perfect. My margarita was divine. The triple layer toasted coconut cake was a slice of heaven. Despite the brilliance of all this wonderful food, there was one thing that stood out even more. Our server, Maria. Let a choir of angels sing the freakin' hallelujah chorus, because this girl was good. She was one of those servers that makes you want to come back again and again. I mean, even if the food was just adequate, Maria would have made the food taste even better. She was that good. Always there whenever we needed something, never rushed us, recommended certain items, laughed with us, asked us our names. I kinda fell in love with Maria that night. I was so impressed by her service, that I was inspired to ask her if they were hiring, because maybe The Bitchy waiter could step it up a bit and work in a non-dump for a change. She told me they were hiring and to drop my resume off on Monday. Cue the choir of angels again.

On Monday, I ironed up my finest shirt and printed out a resume and headed to my future place of employment. I asked the host if I could see Claudia, the lady that Maria had told me to ask for, but the host said she was in a meeting and would give her my resume. Curses. I really wanted to meet this Claudia woman so I could pour on the charm, but instead I thanked Hostess and went on my way. About an hour and half later while walking down the street, guess who I bumped into. Maria. (Angels sing again.) She was all, "Oh my God, you have to apply!" and I was all, "Oh my God, I just dropped off my resume but they wouldn't see me!' and she was all, "Oh my God, go back!" So I went back. I told the hostess (a different one now) that I was in earlier and really wanted to see Claudia. "I'm sorry, she's in a meeting but I can give her your resume." No, that won't do. I explained to Hostess #2 that I really wanted to work there and I know they are hiring and I know I can do great. And then I told her that I had just bumped into Maria and I was taking that as a sign that this was meant to be. Hostess #2 agreed that this was surely an act of God and went to find Claudia at once. Success! She would tell Claudia how eager I am and that Maria and I had experienced serendipity and everything would fall into place. Three minutes passed before Hostess #2 reappeared. Without Claudia. My hopes were dashed. But Hostess told me that Claudia appreciated my story and she would be calling me. We shall see. I think it's meant to be. I really do. Stay tuned. The Bitchy Waiter wants to work for an Iron Chef.