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Saturday, May 29, 2010

Happy Birthday to Me

In 1984 many wonderful things happened. The groundbreaking film Ghostbusters was released, Cyndi Lauper earned the Grammy for best new artist (criminally beating Madonna) and Apple introduced their first Macintosh personal computer. But these are not the only momentous occasions of that year, for it was also the year that I was born. Today is my birthday. Uh huh. I am 26 years old. I repeat, I am 26 years old. Anyone who says otherwise is completely and utterly wrong. To celebrate, I am taking the day off from work. Actually, I only work two days a week so taking Saturday off is a regular thing for me, but today I have a reason other than laziness and no direction in life. Today I will be having lunch and dinner at restaurants and I expect nothing less than a group of waiters singing to me as they place before me a stale piece of cake with a dirty candle stuck in it. The restaurants should be comping my drinks, simply because I was born. The whole restaurant should give me their undivided attention because it is my special day, dammit. And in case you are wondering what I would like for my birthday, there are a few things. You can always go here if you want an idea or here for another great gift option. The Bitchy Waiter is also on the look out for a new Mac Book, running shoes, a watch, jewelry, vacation home in Provincetown, free airline tickets, tequila, tequila, tequila or anything else of value. Or you can always go here to express your birthday wishes upon me.

Seriously, thank you for the birthday love and thank you for reading this blog. It makes me happy that even one person reads it or comments on anything. Thank you. And to all you other May 29th birthdayers out there, happy birthday to you too! Oh wait...was I born in 1984 or was I a sophomore in high school in 1984, I'm not sure.

13 comments:

dirtydisher said...

HAPPY FRICKIN' 26th BIRTHDAY, BITCHY! May you B-day be bright, may the booze flow freely and someone wait on YOU! We love you. Mmmwahhha!

Tracy said...

I was there and will never tell...

Corina 1.0 said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BITCHY!!!! YOUI rock my blog world. Thanks, and I wish you many bitchy years ahead!! XOXOXOX!!

Anonymous said...

Oh bitchy waiter.. How I love the. You're only "26" but I am pushing 40. I waited tables for 6 years in my 20s and your blog takes me back. I think you're accurate and talented. I enjoy your blog tons. Happy b-day, beyotch!

boomit said...

Hey, May 29th is my birthday also! I'm 24 love your blog

The Guru said...

love it!!!!

govind said...

i would also join with everyone to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U

Florence said...

happy birthday :P

Anonymous said...

ahahaha! you're simply great! i love your blog and i wish you all the best with your acting career!
God bless you!

Run Dover said...

I hope you were as fucked up as I was on your birthday.

SunshineOrchid said...

Happy Birthday :)Its such a relief to finally find an interesting blog. Have an Amazing birthday. P.S. feel free to check out my blog.
Love,
Sunshine Orchid

Allison said...

Thats awesome! I finally got caught up on my Bitchy Waiter reading and read this. I'm a 1984-er too :) happy (belated) birthday!

十十f十 said...

happy belated birthday. found you on blogs of note. i went thru the 80s not knowing most of what you listed!

i was in the service industry all my working life until Y2K or 2001. will go read some of your posts now.