I can't believe I have never complained about this, but what the hell is up with the people who use half of a sugar packet and then fold it up and put it back in the sugar caddy? Hey, Grandma, nobody wants to use your leftover packet of freaking sugar. I know, I know, you don't want to waste it, but how about you just wrap that packet up in a tissue that I know you have in your purse anyway and take it home with you for the next time you have some malt-o-meal that's not quite sweet enough?As a customer, you don't want to use a leftover sugar packet, right? Think about it: your iced tea is sitting there waiting to be sweetened and you reach over to the (sticky, dirty, never-ever cleaned) sugar caddy to choose your sweetener of choice, be it sugar, Sugar in the Raw, Splenda, Sweet'n Low, Equal or whatever else the hell we can cram into that plastic hotbed of filth and germs. When you pick up a packet that is half empty (or half full for all you cockeyed optimists) you don't use it, right? No, of course you don't. You want a new one.
As a server, it's even worse. At the end of the shift when it comes time to fill the sugar caddies, it bites us in the ass. When I fill a sugar caddie, I first turn it upside down in order to get as many packets in it as possible. This is when I am alerted to to the already opened packet that Frugal Francine stuck back into the caddie, because when I flip it over, sugar comes pouring out onto the floor forcing me to go get a broom and sweep that shit up even though sweeping is not my job. (Okay, it is my job, but I don't do it. Why bother? People are just gonna make the floor dirty again.)
I have two words for the people who do that: stop it. Wait, I actually have three words: fucking stop it. If you think it's saving us money, you're wrong because all we do is toss that sad ass packet of sugar into the trash. If you don't want to see it go to waste, then put all of it into your tea or coffee or even pour into your pie hole, I don't care. If it's too much to use, then take it home or give it to that homeless guy on the F train who always says he'll take pennies, nickels or even leftover food. (By the way, he doesn't really want food. I once offered to take him into a deli and buy him a sandwich but he told me he's just take the money instead. I'm sure he'd love half a Splenda though...) Just don't put it back in the caddie, alright? And it's really nice of you to fold it all neatly as if that's going to make someone want to use it, but don't bother. Once I saw one that had a paper clip on it. Really? Did someone make a special trip to Staples just so they had an extra supply of paper clips for a sugar packet emergency? C'mon, people.
I can't be the only server who has experienced the frustration of inadvertently dumping sugar all over the place because some dumb fuck thought they were doing me a favor by saving half a Sweet'n Low. I don't give a shit about the sugars. I use them to stick under a table leg when a customer tells me their table is wobbly, so do you honestly think I care about saving the quarter of teaspoon of Equal? Enough already. Use it or throw it away, just don't put it back. I'm talking to you, old lady.
Click here to follow The Bitchy Waiter on Twitter.
Click here to find The Bitchy Waiter on Facebook.
