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Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Sugar, Sugar Everywhere

I can't believe I have never complained about this, but what the hell is up with the people who use half of a sugar packet and then fold it up and put it back in the sugar caddy? Hey, Grandma, nobody wants to use your leftover packet of freaking sugar. I know, I know, you don't want to waste it, but how about you just wrap that packet up in a tissue that I know you have in your purse anyway and take it home with you for the next time you have some malt-o-meal that's not quite sweet enough?

As a customer, you don't want to use a leftover sugar packet, right? Think about it: your iced tea is sitting there waiting to be sweetened and you reach over to the (sticky, dirty, never-ever cleaned) sugar caddy to choose your sweetener of choice, be it sugar, Sugar in the Raw, Splenda, Sweet'n Low, Equal or whatever else the hell we can cram into that plastic hotbed of filth and germs. When you pick up a packet that is half empty (or half full for all you cockeyed optimists) you don't use it, right? No, of course you don't. You want a new one.

As a server, it's even worse. At the end of the shift when it comes time to fill the sugar caddies, it bites us in the ass. When I fill a sugar caddie, I first turn it upside down in order to get as many packets in it as possible. This is when I am alerted to to the already opened packet that Frugal Francine stuck back into the caddie, because when I flip it over, sugar comes pouring out onto the floor forcing me to go get a broom and sweep that shit up even though sweeping is not my job. (Okay, it is my job, but I don't do it. Why bother? People are just gonna make the floor dirty again.)

I have two words for the people who do that: stop it. Wait, I actually have three words: fucking stop it. If you think it's saving us money, you're wrong because all we do is toss that sad ass packet of sugar into the trash. If you don't want to see it go to waste, then put all of it into your tea or coffee or even pour into your pie hole, I don't care. If it's too much to use, then take it home or give it to that homeless guy on the F train who always says he'll take pennies, nickels or even leftover food. (By the way, he doesn't really want food. I once offered to take him into a deli and buy him a sandwich but he told me he's just take the money instead. I'm sure he'd love half a Splenda though...) Just don't put it back in the caddie, alright? And it's really nice of you to fold it all neatly as if that's going to make someone want to use it, but don't bother. Once I saw one that had a paper clip on it. Really? Did someone make a special trip to Staples just so they had an extra supply of paper clips for a sugar packet emergency? C'mon, people.

I can't be the only server who has experienced the frustration of inadvertently dumping sugar all over the place because some dumb fuck thought they were doing me a favor by saving half a Sweet'n Low. I don't give a shit about the sugars. I use them to stick under a table leg when a customer tells me their table is wobbly, so do you honestly think I care about saving the quarter of teaspoon of Equal? Enough already. Use it or throw it away, just don't put it back. I'm talking to you, old lady.



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14 comments:

Chunky Mama said...

I had no idea people did this. Ew.

Andrea said...

I always hated it when people would let their kids play with the sugar and/or creamer(and jelly for that matter). Either they would open shit up and make a mess, or take everything out of the little caddy and it was just one more thing to clean up.

Or the people that would stick their knife into the glass ketchup bottles in order to get some on their food......but they had already used the knife :/

omcdurham said...

Just as bad is wrapping used gum in a sugar packet and re-inserting it into the caddy...hayseeds!

in bed with married women said...

On a related note, I just found 1/2 a package of ramen noodles in my pantry. package error or husband wanting to save the 6 cents. Either way I am displeased.

diatribesandovations.com said...

Great post! At my house we'll soon be asking "What would the bitchy waiter saaaaaay??" .... STOP IT!

Robin said...

If you Yankee's would just make sweet tea in the first place folks wouldn't have to bother with those stupid sugar packets.

(ducking the sugar packets being thrown at me by Yankee's)

:-) Robin

lee said...

what kind of diet do you have to be on that only allows you 1/2 a packet of sweetener: 4 oz. coffee, 1/2 packet of equal, 3 dexedrine- snorted, and 4 unfiltered camels?

Martin said...

Hey, a little consideration, please, for us natives of Northfield, Minnesota, the home of Malt-O-Meal, in real capitol letters! But I like Cream of Wheat better.

Anonymous said...

I find it worse when dumb moms let their kids play with the sugar caddy. They put the packets in their mouths, dump the packets on the floor or my all time favorite: putting the sugar back in a random pattern.

Kate said...

Other annoying things NOT to do with the sugar caddies:

DO NOT wrap up your chewed fucking gum in a sugar packet and leave it in the caddy for me to find at 2am. GROSS!!!!

DO NOT put the empty sugar packets (or straw wrappers or condom wrappers) back in the caddy. Put that shit on the end of the table and I will throw it in the trash where it belongs.

And Dear People-who-dump-the-entire-contents-of-the-sugar-caddy-in-their-purse-or-pockets-and-take-it-home: SERIOUSLY? They sell packets of Splenda at Wal-Mart you cheap fuck. Buy your own.

Coffey said...

I.cannot.stand.this.

People at my old job used to do this. They'd use half a pack of sugar/sweetener or half a splash of the personal sized creamer cups, and put the rest back on the counter or in the holders in the coffee room. People think they're being considerate & thrifty when actually they're being wasteful, considering no one wants to pour USED condiments in their coffee...

jnana said...

Oops, guilty as charged.
LOL @ the paper-clip!

Coffey said...

Oh Boo...
Was my comment about my dislike for half sugar packets and creamers removed? :-(

Angi said...

the moms that let the babys play with the jelly and honey packets, i've actually made a point of letting them know that i now need to throw that entire caddy of stuff away because its been slobbered on and handled and strewn across the floor and table.
my other huge pet peeve is people who use chewing tobaco, and spit into a glass, plastic or disposible or even the nice table glasses, like every one else in the bar/restaurant wants to look at your nasty brown spit. and i just end up throwing our lexan cups away, because i dont even want to wash it and think its in my stack of glasses anywhere to serve another person.