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Thursday, November 10, 2011

Frazzled But Happy Stay-At-Home Mom

Goodness gracious, it has been so long since I have had time to write. Halloween took so much out of me and all of a sudden Turkey Day is almost here! The kids were adorable in their costumes; Billy was a hobo and Suzy was a gypsy. I even put on some cat ears and said meow a few times. I was soooo into it! Hubby had to work late that night because he was training a new secretary but I took lots of pictures so it was almost like he was there, LOL. :)

Anyway, let me get to the point. I recently saw a horrible blog written by what appears to be a very unhappy middle-aged man who has spent his years waiting tables. I can't even say the name of his blog, because it has a bad word in it. Poor thing. He must be miserable. He wrote a post about a woman who came into his restaurant and breastfed. Boy oh boy, did he stir up the pot with that one. I don't usually like to face conflict, but I want to put in my two cents. Okay, maybe three cents, LOL!

Breastfeeding is my right as a mother, a woman and an American. It's even protected by the law in most states and if it's the law then we know it must be right, right? Right! This is the United States of America after all. I breastfed both of my darlings and if I still could, I would. It is a special bond and I miss it. The last time I breastfed Billy we were at Chuck E. Cheese's for his birthday. I knew that he was soon going to be too old to have that moment with me and when I saw him blowing out his five candles, I couldn't resist. I pulled out my feeding apron and put him in my lap. Of course he didn't want to, what with all his friends there watching, but I just told him how much better his birthday cake would taste if he had it with some milk first. After I promised him a dollar to go play Skee-Ball, he agreed and took one last sip. I asked Suzy if she wanted some but she was texting on her phone and said, "No thanks, Mom. I'm busy." They grow up so fast!!!

If that B****y Waiter was so offended by it, he should have just looked away. That's what all the people at Chuck E. Cheese did. Honestly, it was if they'd never seen a woman feed her five-year old child before. Even some of the mothers seemed put off by it which I found really surprising, but if they can't handle it, that's their issue and not mine. Breasts are made for one thing: FEEDING CHILDREN. (Hubby, if you're reading this, I know you beg to differ, you naughty boy, but it's true. It really is true, dear, no matter what you try to show me on your videos.) I am not ashamed when I feed. When I go to the beach or the swimming pool, I wear my one-piece with the cute little skirt and the polka-dot cover up, but when it comes time to feed my children, if some skin shows, then so be it. I am woman, hear me roar. Or in the case of last Halloween, hear me "meow." LOL!

I'd better be going. I just needed to write and let B****y Waiter know that breastfeeding is a wonderful and natural thing that women do. It's a privilege and an honor. I hope he can come to turns with it and maybe someday he won't find a bosom so disturbing. Once he falls in love with the right girl and becomes a father, he will understand how truly wonderful it is to feed a child by the nipple of his wife. I pray for him. I hope he can find happiness someday.

Farewell, all. I am off to the grocery store to get things for dinner. Hubby said he will be home for dinner tonight so I am making his favorite: meatloaf and green peas with fresh rolls. Of course, there is always the chance that he will have to work late again or even spend the night at the office. The poor dear works tirelessly when it comes to training his secretary but he loves it so who am I to judge? I love you Hubby!!! Good luck with your secretary. I'm sure she will get everything right eventually. You just keep trying even if it takes all week, you sweet dedicated man, you.



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17 comments:

Krissy said...

Oh gosh. She's back.

Perfect timing! :)

Anonymous said...

As long as the women is covered up, I would tell someone who has a problem with it to GROW UP!

Some Sort of Fairy said...

"Once he falls in love with the right girl and becomes a father, he will understand how truly wonderful it is to feed a child by the nipple of his wife."

Haha YES.

That nice married lady sure knows how to live a meaningful life!

California Girl said...

Bitchy, not sure if you know who AdBroad is but she owns her own agency in NYC and she is the tweet behind @bettydraper and she will probably like your Stay At Home Mom persona very much. She also blogs as Ad Broad.

Maria said...

Another hilarious post!

Amy said...

Oh I love these posts of yours. Keep up the good work!

Cat M said...

where This is hilarious! But seriously I find it ASTOUNDING that some women think the only way to bond with their kids is through breastfeeding. No I actually got up at night, changed diapers and rocked my babies to sleep after they had their bottle. This nonbreasting mom has a great relationship with her 25 and 27 yr old sons. We talk/text each other almost every day. I think we bonded just great without them sucking my boob while I sleep next to them as they lie there in a wet diaper. If my kids knew they breastfed til 5 (GROSS) they probably couldn't look me in the eye ever again without thinking of incest.

Anoushka said...

i don't get it, cat m, are you saying that breastfeeding a baby is incest? or is it only incest when the child can walk? it's quite interesting that inuits often if not always breastfeed until they are 7 but obviously they are but ignorant snow savages that are too archaic to drive their chilly butts down to wal mart to pick themselves up some powdered formula. fucking idiots, right? they're probably too busy lounging around like daft hippies in bed while their perverted baby shits itself all over the sheets 'cause they're too busy motorboating their twisted mother. if only they weren't so lazy!!! disgusting!

but hey, that's life lol

jnana said...

LOL This is hilarious!
^And I love how people are carrying on with the breastfeed debate after three whole freaking posts about it.

diatribesandovations.com said...

Great post! Keep 'em covered up, ladies. Just because you CAN breastfeed in public doesn't mean you SHOULD.

Mary A. said...

I knew the pros & the nos would come out! Thanks BW. I owe you one!

Crunchy Mommy said...

As a mom, in the mom community as a while FBHSAHM seemed like the pro-bottle/formula type IMHO. I was surprised to see her pro breastfeeding. Which is awesome, btw. But I've always managed to hate her, it makes me sort of...just a tiny bit like her. EWWW.

Just so you guys know, in all states it is perfectly legal to not cover. Whats even better, is in my state women can walk around topless in general there doesn't have to be a baby attached. So in the future when I hopefully get to nurse a minion (my son was formula fed), I'm just not going to give a fuck. You see worse on Facebook and TV.

Andrea said...

lol I just recently started reading your blog and didn't realize you were making this shit up until about a quarter of the way through.

Yep. I feel like a dumb ass now.

Cat M said...

Anoushka-- Maybe you should actually READ what I posted before showing your ignorance to everyone here.

Serving It Back said...

very funny! there are good and bad serving blogs, and this is definitely a good one. always amusing. thanks for the laughs BW!

www.servingitback.com

Practical Parsimony said...

Another hilarious post. You do have a way with words. I always feel so sorry for the chirpy wife and her ignorance of her tireless husband's outside interests. I read a blog or article and comments about letting husband have the excess via the nipple. Your comments look tame compared to the uproar that woman caused, suggesting a man suckle and it could be good sexually. Maybe you could let this stupid wife and husband have that conversation...lol.

Anonymous said...

There NO REASON for a 5 year old to be breastfeeding! Sexualy abuse anyone?