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Saturday, November 19, 2011

Bitch Proud, Everyone

At long last, Bitchy Waiter bracelets are here! Tons and tons of people (three) have been asking for these and now they are finally available. They are made of the finest Corinthian silicone (regular plain ass rubber) known to man and you will be proud to wear it at home, school, the office or even church. (Maybe not church.) Each one says BITCH PROUD (and my website) for all the world to see. Now who wouldn't want to wear that? (Grandmas, nuns, babies and people with inherently good taste.) They were made by hand (a machine) in the good ol' U.S. of A. (actually, maybe in China, I'm not really sure.) by people who care (probably a machine that was run by a child in a sweat shop. Again, not really sure.)

You will be the envy of all your friends when you have one of these around your wrist (they might feel sorry for you) and many other people are already wearing them. It's rumored that people like David Hasselhoff, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, Michelle Hasselobama and Madonna are already wearing these stylish bracelets. (This is not confirmed and very very likely completely untrue.)

These will make great (cheap) gifts and you will want to buy several for your friends (and enemies). They are only $3.00 each and a bargain at twice the price. Shipping will happen the second that I get the order (probably more like within seven days) and they will come to you in one of the following: either a reusable pink box similar to the kind at Tiffany's and it will be wrapped in a bright white ribbon with a hand inscribed thank you note OR a plain ass envelope that I got at the dollar bin at the 99 Cent Store. That price includes shipping. You can email me here for more than one bracelet or international shipping questions.

And there you have it. But wait, there's more! Buy now and get a free gold coin worth over one million dollars! That's right, one million dollars! (Gold coins are in extremely limited availability and is based on supply. Not all buyers will receive the gold coin.)

You can pay with Pay Pal so it's easy, safe and fun!


Krissy said...

Aw! I'm the first comment. No one cares :(

Start laughing. That was a joke.

I like the wording in the parenthesis. Clever clever clever. I know one person that would like a bracelet. Nah! Make that two. My former manager and one of the Key holders. Bastards.

On second thought, I'm going to email you what happened at my old job. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll shout, "WHAT THE FUCK!" to the computer screen. My misfortune had it all.

Good luck on your sales.

Maria said...

Awesome! And just in time for the Holidays!

DonnaNewsom said...

I want to buy.... enough for my entire staff..... which is .. like .... do I do this without buying one at a time???

JoBo said...

I got mine the other day & LOVE it Bitchy! Thank you!!
P.S. I don't even mind that I wasn't the lucky winner of the gold coin!

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