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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

A Comment on Comments

Of all the posts I have written over the last three years, not one of them has gotten more comments than the post called An Order of Milk With a Side of Boob. At last count, there were 133 comments mostly from breastfeeding mothers who were not pleased with what I wrote. Actually, most of them were not pleased with what other's commented on and they quickly forgot what I had said about it in the first place. The post got picked up by some motherhood website and it went like wildfire. Here are a few of my favorites:

  • Why are you implying (however subconsciously) that breasts are only sexual?
  • I'm all for breastfeeding. But, like with everything else, there's an appropriate time and place for exposing a breasticle. "Shirt and Shoes Required" kinda implies "don't whip out your tit", does it not?
  • Seriously, these women can bring a bottle for the kid if they're out in public. I don't want to be exposed to someone's bodily fluids. Breast milk doesn't always make it into the baby's mouth. Have some class, ladies!
  • Breasts PRIMARY FUNCTION are to provide nutrition to children. Don't twist biological fact to suit your prudish ideas. Just because you're a pearl-clutcher doesn't mean that a baby can't be fed while in public.
  • Excuse me, does there have to be something sexual about breasts for women to just whip them out in front of unsuspecting people? Can I have my boyfriend suck my tits in a restaurant as long as we weren't fucking at the table? Oh, and as for what people said about it being natural, yeah, so is taking a dump. I don't do that at the table either.
  • So you had a baby and because of that I should go out and spend several thousand dollars on remodeling the so that you can feed your baby in my restaurant? What is wrong with you people? Yes, the baby has a right to eat and yes the mother has a right to breastfeed, but I also have the right not to witness you whipping out the mammary glands to feed Jr.
  • There is nothing wrong with that lady feeding her baby. And more power to her if she is a confident enough woman to do it without a cover.
  • Finally, did any other patrons go to the washroom to eat? Would YOU have gone to the washroom to eat? I highly doubt it. If breast feeding offends you, put a blanket over YOUR head.
Okay, okay, enough already! Let me be clear about what I wrote. Never once did I say what she was doing was wrong. I simply expressed my surprise at walking up to her table to see that she was in the middle of something that I would consider a very private moment. I did not place her at the front of the restaurant on my own. The milk-lady was told she could sit where ever she wanted to sit and she chose the table nearest the door. Her call, not mine. I was very respectful of the mother and gave her the privacy she needed while she fed her kid from her teet. I was not rude to her and I understood that this is what needed to happen. Am I allowed to feel uncomfortable? Yes, I am. It's my feeling and if I want to have it, I can. Breasts in general are foreign to me so whether they are in a bikini, a tube top, Spanx or if it has a baby hanging off of it, my first thought is going to be, "Eew, gross. Titty."

I appreciate the comments. Most of them were very thoughtful and lengthy and I almost feel bad that some people spent more time commenting about the post than I spent writing it. I wrote it in about twenty minutes before I went to work one morning. It came about like this: "Hmmm, what can I write about today? Oh, how about that lady who breastfed last night. Yeah, that'll do, whatever." The next thing I knew, it was firestorm of controversy.

So in the future, if you are in my section and feel like breastfeeding, please feel free. I will politely avert my eyes and wait until you are done before I take your order. I will keep my discomfort to myself. I do not put a blanket on my head when I eat so I don't think your baby should either. And since I don't eat in a bathroom neither should your baby. And for the record, I never said that's what should happen. Can we please put this behind us? As a token of peace, friendship and my support of breastfeeding wherever the hell you feel like it, I offer this photo:






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18 comments:

Mary A. said...

I found it funny that the comments on your blog were exactly the same comments that show up WHENEVER this topic is covered.

do one on Stay at Home moms and see what you get! I dare ya!

The Bitchy Waiter said...

Mary, one Frazzled But Happy Stay at Home Mom post coning up. Already planned it!

Estrellita said...

There are some militant nursing mothers. Any post having to do with breastfeeding, childbirth, blah blah blah, gets women worked up.They always say the same things. When I informed the 'lactation consultant' at the hospital that I was not interested in breastfeeding she acted as though I told her that I was going to starve my child to death and feed him to wild dogs. My boobs. My choice.

diatribesandovations.com said...

I'm sorry, but I will never be convinced that it is acceptable, under any circumstances, for a woman to expose her breast in a public restaurant. I firmly believe that when a woman chooses to breast feed her newborn she chooses to stay home for six months. "No shoes, no SHIRT, no service".

Cajungirljustsayin said...

I breastfed all of my children sometimes in public but NEVER publicly. Breastfeeding can be done with some type of blanket, depending on the weather. So, come on breastfeeding moms. It is not necessary to show what you have in order to breastfeed, unless you want to....just saying....

Chunky Mama said...

I always love your comments on comments post, but I was surprised by this one. You are really a classy guy, no matter how much you try to pretend otherwise.

Much love, BW. Much. Love.

Nightgaunt said...

@ Mary: Amen. @_@ As another mom, I've been told by the militant crowd how much I fail for bottle feeding, and how I'm destroying my kids future... how I'm supporting "Big Formula" and "Big Diaper"...
It's nuts.

@ Bitchy: Sorry you got hit with the crazies! Like the screamer brats in restaurants, they make the rest of us look bad!

Noelle said...

I fully expected that picture to re-fire up the firestorm. Kind of disappointed.

I'm married to a stay a home Dad. Does that do anything for anyone? I love it.

Anonymous said...

I'm a server and I totally agreed with your post. I once went to take a food order and had a breast feeding baby choke on and spit milk all over the table. The mother was put off because I just handed her extra linens and didn't wipe it up.

Anoushka said...

hmm maybe i should have said the wording of the post implies [only] to me about breasts being sexual. i can see i really offended another commenter. oops.

also, i hope diatribesandovations.com is trying to be funny! 6 months?? i can't even go like 3 days without needing to go outside! i'm supposed to be a fatty human cow melding into my couch lobotomising myself with rules of engagement reruns just because i may or may not need to breastfeed my baby once at starbucks during my one outing a week?! lol golly!! XD

Michelle said...

I'm a breast feeding mom, nursed my first, now nursing my second and I thought your post was tasteful. Had you asked her leave, stop, go to the restroom, then all the other comments would have validity. Please people! There is nothing wrong with being discreet in public, in my opinion.

Jessica said...

I love your blog!!!

As a breastfeeding mother, I frequently nurse in public without a cover. Having said that, I doubt anyone has ever seen much of my breasts. Nursing without a cover can and should be done tastefully. The same level of decency should apply to everyone, not just nursing mothers. As in, just because it's legal to leave your house in nothing but pasties doesn't mean you should! I thought your post was tastefully written.

Anonymous said...

gawd yor still BITCHIN about this Pull that dam stick out of your bony white skinny gay ass!!!! Get ovr it moms have the right to "whip there titties out"

Anonymous said...

I'm kind of excited that my comment ended up as one of your favorites--LOL. (I wrote the one about whipping out the mammary glands.) I am truly honored.

Two Flights Down said...

I have already stated my thoughts on the subject, so I won't go there again. I have to agree, though, that some comments acted like you did some horrible thing, but actually you didn't. The original post merely asked for opinions on the subject. Granted, when you ask about something so controversial as breastfeedig you will get a very heated discussion, but I didn't see any reason for you to be attacked personally.

CleverFox said...

I am a late comer to this (shitty I know, but whatever, I just found this nifty blog yesterday, I have a lot of catching up to do) but I must say it really makes me laugh when people mention breastfeeding. What gets me is that people shouldn't care about where they are, or if you can see the woman's breast or not. It is all about being sanitary. As a lifeguard, my favorite example is the pool. Yes, women has most certainly tried to breast feed in the pool, and I have to say, it's gross as hell. Do women not realize that if you've been swimming, your boobs are covered in pool water. That would be water that is constantly being treated with chemicals, is peed in, pooped in, sweat in (yes you still sweat when you swim, sorry!), drooled in, and sneezed in? That means if you are not leaving the pool to wash off, your baby is getting that too, which I will take a wild guess as to say, that is not nifty, and defeats the purpose of breastfeeding. Happens whenever you go to a public place. No there may not be chlorine, but you touch everything, and there is dirt all over you, and then in your baby as it suckles from you. I support breastfeeding 100%, but keep it clean(Literally)!!!

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Cindy Dy said...


Very interesting story. I didn't find it boring to read. In fact, I really had a lot of fun reading your post. Thanks.

Shella
www.gofastek.com