I often think of things that I want to write about but the idea may slide into a hidden recess of my brain and never resurface again. It sometimes takes a posted comment from someone else to jolt my memory and recall the topic. A shout out to Lorinda who reminded me that I need to write about that cheap gravel-voiced hag known as Rachael Ray. What person in the food service industry is unaware of her infamous show on The Food Network, "$40 a Day?" The bitch may have been able to eat her way across the country on a shoestring budget but she never left the servers enough money to go to Payless to buy a shoestring of their fucking own. Bitch is cheap.
The premise of the show was that she could eat three meals and a snack in one day in various cities and do it all for under $40. Of course her breakfast sometimes consisted of a lone muffin and tap water and her dinner would be a single appetizer but she always managed to make it under $40. Coming under budget was helped by the fact that she never left a server anything close to resembling a decent tip. If I didn't tip my servers, I could save a shitload of money too. But I tip. It's waht you do when you eat out. Rachael used to be a fucking waitress too, so you would think she would have some empathy for servers, but all that mattered to her was that she make it under budget and that she comes up with some new annoying catch phrase. Delish! Yum-o! I swallow! Maybe she should have just changed the name of the show to "$45 a Day" so she could factor in a tip. Or call it "I have Vocal Nodes and Polyps and Don't Give a Shit About Waiters."
I watched this show at the beginning of Rachael's career and it was before she started gargling with gravel and I could tolerate the sound of her voice for more than two minutes. Nowadays her throat sounds like it has a piece of glass wedged in it. Somebody please give this bitch a piece of bread to swallow. Maybe if she would just shut the fuck up for a couple of days her vocal chords could take a breather and repair themselves. But she is too busy publishing cookbooks, selling Dunkin' Donuts, filming her thirty bejillion different television shows, creating pet foods, and marketing kitchen crap. She sells a bowl to put garbage in. It costs $32.99. Seriously, bitch? I have something I put garbage in when I cook and it's called a plastic grocery sack from Met Foods. It works great. Try it.
If anyone ever bumps into Rachael Ray (and when I say "bump into" I mean with your car while going 40 mph) please tell her that the Bitchy Waiter said hello. And that he hates her.