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Wednesday, December 12, 2012

A Comment on Comments

It's that time again, when I take time out of my incredibly busy day of watching Project Runway and eating cheese flavored snack foods, to respond to a comment that someone made on one of my blog posts. It's always nice for me to reach out to people and personally speak to one of the readers who keeps this blog going. Without readers, this blog would be as inactive as a bottle of honey mustard dressing in Springs1's house, so I have the utmost respect for everyone who spends any time reading the drivel that falls from my fingertips as I hunt and peck for letters on the keyboard. In a blog post I wrote called Not a Couple of Gay Dudes, Anonymous had this to say:

I'm confused as to what the purpose of this article is about. Assumed gays sitting at a table? Maybe a bad tip? The way they ordered? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?! Rather, why'd you choose to post this, is what I'd really like to know.

Honestly, Anonymous, the post had the same significance as all of my others: very little. I blog, not because it has importance, but because I enjoy doing it. WHAT DOES IT MEAN? It means that those guys said something to me that made me take a mental note so I could write a story about it one day. You see, Anonymous, this thing you are reading on your computer screen right now is called a blog.

Merriam-Webster defines blog as: a Web site that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer. 

So you see? What I do is find things that happen in my restaurant world and try to create little stories out of them. The one you are reading now is number 902 and some of them are more successful than others. What I MEAN by that, is that of the 902 posts I have written, some will resonate for more people than others. Does that makes sense? You see, this isn't CNN or Christian Science Monitor or even Huffington Post. This is The Bitchy Waiter and the musings that appear here don't have to be backed up by facts and meaning or seriousness. It's a fucking blog. My blog. Sometimes, I can just take a simple sentence that a brother utters and then through my twisted brain I can imagine that they are a couple of deeply closeted, espadrille-wearing, ascot-lovin', booty buddies who don't want their waiter to think they're gay. It's quite possible, and more than likely true, that they were in fact a couple of brothers who made a simple remark about not being gay. However, that blog post would not have been fun for me to write or for anyone else to read. Case in point:

"Wow, it's kinda romantic out here. Too bad we're brothers and not a couple of gay dudes," said the man.

"Ha ha. Yes, I agree," said the waiter. "Are you ready to order?"

"Yes," said the man.

"What would you like?" said the waiter.

See? That's boring. Not all blog posts have meaning. They are here for people to read and if they like it they laugh and if they don't like it they leave and go spend their time on more important websites like a gossip blog or porn. And yes, maybe even gay porn. 

In the future, as I write blog posts, I will try to make certain that each one is filled with deep meaning. "What would Anonymous like?" shall become my new mantra. I will write it on a Post-It note and stick it to my computer screen so I will always have your needs before me.

Thank you, Anonymous. Thank you for letting me know that blog post #894 didn't fulfill you. I feel horrible about it. Rest assured that 2013 will be all about making sure some anonymous asshole sitting on the Internet finds meaning in a blog post written on a site called the Bitchy Waiter. Right. Uh huh.

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jeska said...

i love how no one is brave enough to comments on this..... please keep writing, because i will keep reading, even if it is about homophobes....

Rogue Wino said...

Yes, the meaning was sort of insignificant- it simply described feelings we often have as wait peoples, of "giant sigh" "you fucking dicks" "am I invisible to you right now"? But however unimportant our thoughts are to our tables as we stand there listening to their BS, we have them, and it's pretty fun to hear them shared

Anonymous said...


Your blog keeps me entertained while I am at my dull day job in customer service and relates to my night job at a restaurant in SLC. I am so happy I found this shit to keep me sane. Thank you for writing such wonderful stories!

Anonymous said...

I personally, really liked the post about the two non-gay dudes in the moonlight, perhaps anonymous needs to get a sense of humor to appreciate it. It did remind me of two guys who once sat in my station, one ordered a strawberry margarita the other ordered a draft beer, when i left the table i could hear them arguing "Damn, I wanted the margagrita, but we can't both order one or we are going to look like fags". Well it would have been an improvement instead of looking like a couple of homophobes..

Noelle said...

I read that comment and I thought anonymous are you stupid? If you don't get it don't comment you look stupid and a bit like an asshole.

I thought the post was plenty relevant by the way. What was up with those two dudes. I would have thought the comment odd myself and may have brought them a candle. HA!

Anonymous said...

It's funny how people think that everything that is written has to have some big meaning to it.

I love that you write because you like to write, you do it for you and just happen to have thousands and thousands of people who enjoy reading what you have to say.

Keep the good reads rolling!

anne marie in philly said...

score 1 for BW, anonymous 0.

keep on bitchin'!

TMD said...

We just featured one of your older articles about rolling silverware on our account. We roll silverware for restaurants so that waiters no longer have too! :)

Anonymous said...

BW, you have no idea what joy you bring into my life. I love EVERY SINGLE ONE of your blogs. I do really, really miss Tales from the Happy Frazzled Stay at Home Mom. Could we hear from her. Please? Jesus's birthday is coming up and I couldn't think of a better present ;-)

maxi said...

A few weeks ago I was refreshing the candles in the restaurant and I came to a table with 2 middle aged guys on it. I was just telling them I was getting them a fresh candle for their table and one of them said, "No, you can take it away. We're not here for a romantic evening." Errr.... ok? I'm sure the majority of the tables here aren't out for a romantic evening! Anyway, I took the candle holder round the back and told their server what happened. His response? "I thought they were (out for a romantic evening)"

mary i said...

Oh yes I can hardly wait for your "deep-meaning" posts. ;) Please tell anon to go find a meeting of some sort or another. BW: Keep on with your self!

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