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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Pizza Delivery Guy Meets a Meat Lover


So someone sent me this news article a while back and it really got my panties in a twist. As if I ever wear panties. Apparently, a Pizza Hut delivery driver was stiffed and when he said something less than kind about it, the customer punched him in the face. You can read the whole article
here but I need to respond. Now I hate getting stiffed. We all do. According to the article, the driver really wasn't that rude about it; he just didn't say thank you or have a good night or any of that other crap that nobody really wants to say or hear anyway. If you want my humble opinion, the customer was just a dick. The man was ordering a Meat Lovers Pizza. Need I say more? Who the fuck eats that shit? Pepperoni, Italian sausage, ham, bacon and beef. Is that really necessary? The man was obviously a neanderthal to begin with. I guess the hero of our story (the driver of course) said something back to the miserable shrew of a wife after she told him he should be more polite. And then the idiot caveman customer probably got his testosterone all flared up and he had to go protect his woman. I can just picture these two lovebirds. I looked up the nutritional value of the Meat Lovers Pizza and each slice is 16 grams of fat. If they ate the whole thing, (and you know they did) they would each be getting 100% of their fat allowance and 168% of their sodium. I imagine that they were both really large and retaining a lot of water.

The driver drove back to Pizza Hut with a bloody face and then they called the police and Meat Lover was arrested. Wouldn't it be great if every person who stiffed us wound up in jail? If I was the Pizza Hut guy, I would be suing the pants off this asshole and get the biggest tip he's ever had. He could get a few thousand dollars and maybe this man's possessions too. But then again he may be stuck with this asshole's crap. I imagine it would be a trailer full of ugly furniture from Wal-Mart, paintings of dogs playing poker, pants in a size 48 and a lifetime supply of Pepcid AC. But at least Meat Lover spent some quality time in jail and while he was there I hope he got another taste of meat to love. Like Big Bubba's fat "pepperoni" shoved up his bunghole. Now that would be justice.
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21 comments:

Anonymous said...

I do not agree with your comments. Not that it will change your mind of the mind of a person who takes a service industry job or a union job and feels they are entitled to something "just because". In California I believe every service industry employee is paid a minimum wage plus tips. Tips that only a percentage get reported as income on their taxes. There is no reason for anyone to really tip anyone else if they choose not to. Having a tip jar at the local Starbucks is the worst thing I have ever seen. You go in there and order a normal cup of coffee that is priced more than anyone should pay (yes it is my fault for going in and buying it in the first place so that is not a valid counter point) and the employees get bent out of shape when you don't leave the change from your 3 dollars in their tip jar. I work in advertising and I get paid what I agreed to when I took the job plus commissions and bonus depending on the work I get done. That is all part of a written agreeemnt. When I order a pizza for 20.00 (that costs 3.78 to make, including the cost of cooking it and labor) to be delivered. The company should be happy to drive it over the few blocks to my house because I can't leave while I wait for the appliance repair person who will show up between 8 and 5. And by the by the repair guy from sears has never asked for a tip and he drove 35 miles to get to my house. Thanks Kevjo from california

HG Brit said...

In California, that may be true, but I believe it is the only state in which service employees get paid minimum wage. In my state (and most, to my knowledge), if you work in an industry where you may make tips, your employers do not have to pay you minimum wage. In other words, tips pay the bills, so one person being a cheap fuck affects all of us.

Anonymous said...

Alaskans get minimum wage as well. I wish that this culture would do away with tipping all together. It would force managers to actually manage and pay the people. Tipping just relegates management to the customer.

Jake said...

Sorry, I am a former waiter and banquet director and "Restaurant Employee Advocate" if you will, but I do not support your opinion that one must tip the pizza delivery guy. Punching the guy was wrong, yea...but I don't tip the pizza delivery guy for the same reason I don't tip the person working the counter at McDonalds: they are doing their job!

Besides I only see the Pizza Guy for 30 seconds before he's off. I know these guys can make a killing. Why should I pay an extra tip on top of the already outrageous price of the pizza? Most of the time there is even a delivery charge as well!

Tip for the delivery guy? No Way.

Jake said...

I do have to add though, I rarely order pizza for delivery, simply because I can get off my lazy ass for a fresh pie and go get it myself.

Jenn said...

I always tip the delivery guy a couple dollars. Drivers have to use their own car and have to pay for gas and wear and tear on the car.

The non-tippers should take a look at this site: http://tipthepizzaguy.com/

AZ said...

I think it's scary that the wife thinks her husband didn't do anything wrong. Hello, he assaulted a delivery driver over a pizza!

At the very least he should be forced to attend anger management classes. And when you stiff a tipped employee who uses their own personal vehicle, don't expect warm smiles and "have a good night"s. I don't agree with the driver saying anything back to the rude woman, but I can't blame him either...and he certainly didn't deserve to be assaulted for it either.

It's also humorous that the wife threatened to not order while Kroning was still employed. Call me crazy, but I've worked for PH, and I really doubt they're going to fire an employee in this situation. Maybe discipline for mouthing off a bit, but if you assault a driver over a $20 pizza....don't expect PH to cry because you've threatened to stop patronizing them. MAYBE I could see it if they hadn't, yanno, punched the driver and fractured bones in his face.

AZ said...

And btw Jake: what does the delivery charge have to do with tipping the delivery driver? They didn't set it, and it doesn't go to them either.

Thank goodness you don't order delivery often, because if you did I'd shudder to think what would happen to your pizza. Not saying it's right, but these people are alone with your pizza for 5-15 minutes. A regular non tipper is really taking a huge chance with their food. Just sayin.

Anonymous said...

All I can think about right now is Meat Lover's Pizza with a side of ranch dressing.


Pete

Euripidies said...

Since when is tipping based on what YOU think somebody makes? Oh this guy MUST make a killing delivering 30,40,50 pizzas a day so i dont need to tip him, bulls***! I never demand a tip but surely this guy did drive to these schmucks house and from what i can tell they had the pizza stuffed in their fat pie-holes before the door closed. We all kow servers make s*** and kindness aint free in this world so stop being a tightwad a help a brotha out.

dirtydisher said...

People are assholes..even on here today. Yep, I said it. Tip the pizza dude, you cheap skates. And have a nice fucking day.

Noelle said...

yeah tip the delivery guy. I work with some of the most highest paid service people around. Last night for example convention of music teachers. For 6 hours of pretty hard physical labor and kissing and smoozing ever guest up the ass. Hourly wage was nearly 30 dollars an hour. They claim lots of it everyone pays with credit. Senior severs have a better looking w-2 than a manager. I am pretty sure I couldn't find one dim soul to do that job for 8.00 bucks and hour. Your dining experience would be greatly diminished if I did. You get what you pay for! Our guest come for the food and the service and are pleased to pay for it.

If you know your pizza only cost a buck go the the fucking store and make it your self.

Service people are here to provide service and that you can not buy at the store. lots of time they are pretty talented people.

Anonymous said...

what comment?

a nervous complaint said...

"Having a tip jar at the local Starbucks is the worst thing I've ever seen" is the most awesomely stupid fucking comment ever posted to any message board anywhere in history.

The worst. Thing. I've. Ever. Seen.

Someone get this jackass a cocktail and a kick in the box.

Lauren said...

"Pepperoni, Italian sausage, ham, bacon and beef. Is that really necessary?"

____________________________

LOL! Best line of the post.

Anonymous said...

Well we always tip the pizza guy a few bucks. But really, what pissed me off was reading the opinions of what these people must have looked like because they ordered a meat lovers. That is really painting with a broad brush.

Hubby and I love those pizzas once in awhile and especially after we have taken a really long hike up in the foothills near where we live. Sometimes you just have a craving for junk and carbs. Neither of us are overweight.

George said...

The first comment here is hilarious. If I was trying to write a parody of ignorant people's misconceptions and bad rationalizations about tipping, that is exactly how it would read.

Danielle said...

I am a waittress and my paychecks are "void" which means that every bit of the $2.63 an hour that they do pay me is eaten up by all the taxes that are deducted. If everyone was a cheapskate I would not be able to pay my bills. If you can't afford to tip you should stay home. Pizza delivery guys have to pay for gas (which, if I remember correctly-isn't cheap!) so you lazy butts can stay home on your ass. Somebody has to do that thankless job. TIP!!!

Danielle said...

By the way the cost of running a restaurant leaves little left for profit, if servers were paid the same as kitchen staff many restaurants would fold.

viagra online said...

Besides I only see the Pizza Guy for 30 seconds before he's off. I know these guys can make a killing. Why should I pay an extra tip on top of the already outrageous price of the pizza? Most of the time there is even a delivery charge as well!

Adam V. said...

Pop quiz for all you responders who think we drivers "Make a killing" as you put it. I had to take on a second, FULL TIME job to supplement my income from working a pizza delivery job in which I get paid three full dollars UNDER federal minimum wage. I make around $60 a week in wages, around $200 a week in tips(On a GOOD week), and that's before I spend $20 dollars a day in gas.

Yeah, pizza delivery jobs are a killing alright. A killing on the employee's finance since those drivers, myself included, have to work essentially two full time jobs just to make ends meet. Now imagine juggling TWO full time jobs with FULL TIME COLLEGE ENROLLMENT. Thanks, and think about that next time you figure "oh, the driver doesn't need a tip, he makes a killing already."