Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Pizza Delivery Guy Meets a Meat Lover
So someone sent me this news article a while back and it really got my panties in a twist. As if I ever wear panties. Apparently, a Pizza Hut delivery driver was stiffed and when he said something less than kind about it, the customer punched him in the face. You can read the whole article
here but I need to respond. Now I hate getting stiffed. We all do. According to the article, the driver really wasn't that rude about it; he just didn't say thank you or have a good night or any of that other crap that nobody really wants to say or hear anyway. If you want my humble opinion, the customer was just a dick. The man was ordering a Meat Lovers Pizza. Need I say more? Who the fuck eats that shit? Pepperoni, Italian sausage, ham, bacon and beef. Is that really necessary? The man was obviously a neanderthal to begin with. I guess the hero of our story (the driver of course) said something back to the miserable shrew of a wife after she told him he should be more polite. And then the idiot caveman customer probably got his testosterone all flared up and he had to go protect his woman. I can just picture these two lovebirds. I looked up the nutritional value of the Meat Lovers Pizza and each slice is 16 grams of fat. If they ate the whole thing, (and you know they did) they would each be getting 100% of their fat allowance and 168% of their sodium. I imagine that they were both really large and retaining a lot of water.
The driver drove back to Pizza Hut with a bloody face and then they called the police and Meat Lover was arrested. Wouldn't it be great if every person who stiffed us wound up in jail? If I was the Pizza Hut guy, I would be suing the pants off this asshole and get the biggest tip he's ever had. He could get a few thousand dollars and maybe this man's possessions too. But then again he may be stuck with this asshole's crap. I imagine it would be a trailer full of ugly furniture from Wal-Mart, paintings of dogs playing poker, pants in a size 48 and a lifetime supply of Pepcid AC. But at least Meat Lover spent some quality time in jail and while he was there I hope he got another taste of meat to love. Like Big Bubba's fat "pepperoni" shoved up his bunghole. Now that would be justice.