Friday, February 19, 2010
Enough of Tiger Woods
So I don't know about you, but I don't give a flying fuck about the sex life of Tiger Woods. All I know is that I was at the gym today about to do my cardio and The View was preempted so that this asshole could apologize on television. I have avoided reading anything about the whole scandal because I don't give a shit. Why does anyone other than his wife and mistresses care what he did? My one gripe is that apparently he took advantage of some sweet innocent cocktail servers over the years and they certainly deserve better. These girls are just hardworking hos trying to earn a buck and when Tiger Woods sat in their station they did what they had to do in order to get a big fat tip. And if they were lucky enough to get Tiger's tip, maybe they thought they were also entitled to Tiger's wood. I read about one waitress who was making $8.00 an hour and really believed that her and Tiger had an honest relationship. Okay, where is this delusional bitch working where she gets eight bucks an hour? I get $4.60 an hour and I feel jilted. Not only is she getting a decent hourly wage, she gets to taste the Tiger too. I call shenanigans!
Tiger has left a trail of scorned waitresses across the country. Their lives are in ruins and now all they can do is hope that Playboy will do a spread on Tiger's Tasty Treats and they can cash in. Or maybe they can each write a tell-all book about it so they don't have to sling hash and cocktails anymore. Either way, I just want to send a shout out to all those waitresses he slept with because they are the forgotten victims in this tragedy. Tiger lost an endorsement deal or two, but these girls lost their self respect, their honor and their privacy. Well except that one who was a porn star already so I guess she was okay with the no self respect thing. Hopefully these girls will move on from the scandal and aspire to greatness. And I am pretty sure that Hooters is hiring.