American Idol

So I have not had to work for a couple of days and have been trying to get caught up on all the important things in life that must be taken care of. I watched The Olympics and American Idol. So yes, this post is about American Idol. I know, I know, it has nothing to do with serving but I feel that I must put my two cents in about the top twelve bitches who sang last night. And then I have to go to work tonight and will probably gather up some more waiting tables dreck to write about next time. In the meantime, this (ridiculously long pause) is American Idol:

• Paige Mills- First one to sing and was really good, but I hope people remember to call for her ass since she was at the beginning of the show.
  
• Ashley Rodriguez- Whatever. Average. Goodbye and good luck with your post-Idol career as a karaoke host.
  
• Janell Wheeler- Pretty girl, mama.
  
• Lilly Scott- This chick is cool. I love that silver hair thing she's got going on. She looks like a super hero.
  
• Katelyn Epperly- I couldn't take my eyes off the thing in her hair. And with that necklace, hair-do and earrings, she needs to tone it down. You know that fashion rule that says you should always take off one accessory before you leave your house? She needs to do that two or three times.
  
• Haeley Vaughn- This Billie Holliday flower in the hair chick is kinda interesting, but she needs to develop a new look other than that fucking thing in the hair. We get it. You're quirky. I liked her even though she was all over the place vocally.
  
• Lacey Brown- Ouch. My ears were bleeding. She works at a church. God will welcome her back to the job when her ass gets booted off this week. Bye.
  
• Michelle Delamor- Not bad, but seen it, heard it before.
  
• Didi Benami- She really thought that the crocheted sweater that her Gran made for her was the right thing to wear on Idol? She reminds me of that Megan babe from last year who always cawed and flapped her arms like wings. And that last note she hit? No, honey.
  
• Siobhan Magnus- Boring. And someone else wearing a flower or feather in her head? Don't they have stylists there who are telling them to chill out with the head decor?
  
• Crystal Bowersox- Love me some Butter Teeth. She can sing, but her teeth... I can say that, because my teefs are all jacked up too.
  
• Katie Stevens- Whatevs. All I could think while she was singing was that it would be a good karaoke song for me the next time I am all drunk on vodka gimlets.
  

I predict that Ashley and Lacey will be gone this week. The two of them will go home to minor celebrity and be singing in malls for the next three months while they wait for the American Idol finale and hope they get to come back and sing in a group number. I liked that silver girl Lilly best, but didn't call in for her because I really don't care that much. Okay it's not that I don't care, it's just so much effort to dial the number. It's exhausting. Oh, and I really don't care that much.