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Saturday, July 30, 2011

When You Wish Upon a Star

Last night I found myself wishing upon a star. Today I am spending the afternoon working on my book proposal, because if you dream it you can acheive it. I know this is true because I saw it on a poster in my math class in seventh grade. Mrs. Fredrichs, you rock. Part of this post is a rewrite from about a year ago, but it still makes sense to me so I am using it again. I have been reviewing my old diaries to see how many freakin' waiter jobs I have had in my life. I have every day of my life documented in my diaries since December 31st, 1982. One entry stopped me cold in my tracks. Had I not written it in my own hand, I never would have believed that it was from me. It proves to all those naysayers out there that I have not always been a spiteful, bitter, angry waiter. There was a time when I was as pure as the driven snow and filled with hope and and inspiration to serve others. Of course, this was before I was an actual waiter. I was just a lowly busboy dreaming of the day that I could be a waiter and reap the rewards of that position. Behold:

September 30, 1989: Worked tonight and made $31. Cool, eh? People tell me I'm a great busser. I want to be a great waiter. I really do.

First off, yes, I was working in a restaurant in 1989 which is probably before half of you bitches were born. And yes, $31 was a decent sum of money to me back then when my rent was only $275. It was a long time ago before cell phones, computers and I think it was right before they invented these flying machines called aeroplanes. But we must take notice of my aspiration to become a waiter and how I truly wanted to be a great one. I was working at a Mexican restaurant in Denver called Juanita's. Who even knows if it's still there? But that place groomed me for my future in the food service industry. There was one waitress there who always said "pardon me" when ever she walked by and I always thought it was so sophisticated of her. To this day, I say that instead of "excuse me" or "get the fuck out of my way." I want to keep it classy.

I guess the point of this post is to remind us all that dreams really do come true. Jiminy Cricket says so and I do have him tattooed on my leg so it must be true. In 1989 I dreamed of becoming a waiter and I made it happen! Therefore, if I can dream of writing a book, then I can make that happen too. I am a waiter. I will be an author.

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are

Anything your heart desires

Will come to you

If your heart is in your dream

No request is too extreme

When you wish upon a star

As dreamers do

So, what did you wish for last night when your eyes fell upon the first star of twilight?

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itswhatiam said...

Was that bussing job in your hometown, or was it after you left for the big city?

The Bitchy Waiter said...

I grew up in Texas, bussed in Denver during college and then moved to NYC.

Lolamouse said...

I can't wait to see your book in every bookstore (if bookstores still exist!) and your face on every TV interview show there is! I do expect an autographed copy! It will get a special place on my shelf with Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential. I will pimp it like crazy because I know you PERSONALLY! Go make it happen.

Adam said...

This speak of stars of Twilight makes me wish that Kristen Stewart would stop acting or at least attempt to be a girl in some capacity.

But I too am looking forward to seeing your book in every store as well. When it becomes available I promptly begin whoring it like nobody's business.

Shauna said...

A smile that lights up people,
a sense of humor that keep others
laughing and a laugh people can't
get enough of.

Kelly said...

I am driving to Denver this week! Google says Juanita's Deli is closed.... but Juanita's Panaderia's might still be open. Worth the stop-by??

Critts said...

All the best to you as you reach your goal!

StoreRants said...

That's pretty rad. Congrats. Disney characters always make things come true. Maybe if I get a tattoo of one, my dreams will come true, too ;) Can't wait to see your book!

purplegirl said...

Oh, to think that my home state was once graced by the likes of THE Bitchy Waiter! ;)

Joe Sixtop said...

I dreamt that you would replace the now-retired (So You Want to be a) Banquet Manager with These American Servers™ on your blogroll FOR FREE.

Maria said...

I trust that wishing on a star crap because I never became Mrs. Sean Cassidy, and I wished really, really hard for that. But I do believe in talent, and you have it. I can't wait to read your book!

California Girl said...

Very sweet. That song is a sentimental childhood favorite because, you see, I WAS born before you started bussing tables. I think Jiminy sang the song before I was born but it's from my childhood, nevertheless.

Nice post. Hope you get your book deal. You are very entertaining.

Anonymous said...

haha hilarious.. i say pardon me too (pardon me, but i dont have a working quotes key) .. but only bc this weird 21-year-old balding guy would say it every stinkin time he walked by me & everyone laughed at it.. but he was one of those super-awkwards aka a mlady... (my apostrophe key is out too)

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