Well, I took a few notes of the things that he was boring us with recently and I thought you would want to know some of his thoughts:
- He gave a play by play description of this video about a dog. He reenacted the whole thing to some sad lady who was waiting for her friend. I saw the video on Facebook. We all saw it on Facebook. But his interpretation of it was just plain fucking annoying. Shut the fuck up.
- He gave a run down of all the zoos in New York City, including the Bronx Zoo, the Central Park zoo and the one in Brooklyn. He told us which days are best to go visit and how much they cost. He also had some thoughts about certain animals being held in captivity. He aggressively believes that polar bears should never ever under any circumstances be held in captivity. No word on how he feels about, black bears, brown bears, grizzly bears, koala bears, panda bears or the Sri Lankan Sloth bear but polar bears should for sure never ever be held in captivity. Shut the fuck up.
- He gave us a dissertation 0n the various brick oven pizzas in and around New York City. Because you, know, he's an expert on brick oven pizzas. Shut the fuck up.
- He told us the proper way to cook garlic and here's a news flash: you don't want it to get too brown. Thank you, Barefoot Fucking Contessa now shut the fuck up.
- He went into a diatribe about the royal wedding. He thinks Kate Middleton is prettier than Princess Diana was and when discussing Kate's sister Pippa he had some very strong opinions. I quote: "How dare that bitch wear a white dress!" Shut the fuck up.
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