Pink Tacos Are All the Rage

I am certainly not one to judge anyone for trying to get some publicity. I mean, this is the guy who puts a Bitchy Waiter sticker in every restaurant bathroom he goes into. If expense wasn't an issue, you would see skywriters across America spelling out my name in smoke and I would put a Bitchy Waiter flyer in every Valpak envelope in every mailbox throughout the land. But something caught my eye this week regarding a publicity stunt in Los Angeles for some restaurant called Pink Taco. I am going to ignore that someone named a restaurant after a euphemism for a vagina and focus on the fact that the owners thought it would be a good idea on Cinco de Mayo to take a donkey and paint that ass's ass pink. What in the bloody pink taco hell is that about? Did they really think that PETA would not jump all up in their pink taco ass and shut that shit down? The publicity stunt went viral real quick like since it happened in LA and everyone there is born with a cell phone chip in their brain and a Twitter feed. Huge celebrities like Stephanie Pratt, former star of The Hills and MTV star Lo Bosworth were Tweeting about it so you know it makes it an "official big deal." Pink Taco (that name is making me throw up in my mouth a little bit every time I type it) responded with this comment:

"We obtained a permit from the city to have the animal on site and the pink coloring used on the donkey was a safe, water-based and commonly used on animals in the entertainment industry. Additionally, the donkey’s trainer escorted him the entire appearance, he was on a leash, not a chain as reported in the media, and we provided plenty of water and care to him throughout."

So I guess everything was okay after they released the statement and the donkey was rinsed off back to his boring gray/brownish burro color. I can't speak for the donkey, but maybe he liked the new look. I just got highlights in my hair (it's summer, doncha know) and I am quite happy with the new look. For all we know, donkey was totally fine with the color. He was probably not fine with having Pink Taco stenciled onto his side. But who knows, he's a show biz animal and he will do anything for his art. He comes from a long line of Hollywood pros. His great-great grandfather was featured in The Wizard of Oz:

In conclusion, maybe Pink Taco (urp) should have come up with a better Cinco de Mayo idea that would not get people in such a tizzy. Perhaps a simple piñata from Sam's Club would have sufficed. Or a "Buy one margarita, get one free" promo. Or they could have asked me to sit out there. For three free tacos (not the pink kind) and a strawberry daiquiri, they could have painted my naked ass pink and let me hold a sign that says "Eat here or eat me." I would have drawn the line at "Pink Taco" being written on me though. That goes against everything I have ever stood for. Pink tacos are not for me, much to the chagrin of my college sweetheart Lora. That was one pink taco I did not want seconds on.

In other news, I hope you try my new breakfast eatery soon, The Big Blue Waffle. (Do NOT click that link unless you are truly prepared for disgustingness beyond believability.

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