Tuesday, February 8, 2011

We Have a Winner!

After literally minutes and minutes of tabulating the dozens of votes, a winner has been determined for the International Pity-Bait Day. Striking just the right chord of ambiguity, humor and pity, the winning comment received 30% of the vote. And the winner is:

"Why do they feel so lumpy?"

Congratulations to Donna Reed on being the first ever Master Pity Baiter. Her comment received the most votes but it was a close race squeaking by with only 3% more votes than the runner up. Donna Reed, you should be proud. You are a pathetic pity-baiter! Donna Reed also writes a blog that you should go check out, My Dirty Kitchen Floor: Pages of a Dubiously Pissed Off Housewife.

Here are how the votes turned out:

30%- Why do they feel so lumpy?
27%- And then there are the bed bugs...
17%- I feel so guilty feeding my pets non-organic, but I can't afford anything else.
14%- Carnie Wilson did it and I know that deep, deep, deep, down... I have it in me too...
12%- I wish Oprah would respond to my letters...She would know what to do.

Thank you to the other finalists for trying so hard but you're just not quite pitiful enough. No one is as pathetic as Donna Reed! Donna Reed, you will be contacted so that you can give us your address in order for your prizes (that's right, plural!) to be mailed to you. They will be coming to you from around the country! (One from New York City and one from Portland, Oregon.) Be on the look out for an original one of kind, created just for you Bitchy Waiter necklace and a framed citation stating that you have been honored with the title of Master Pity-Baiter, 2011.

Thanks to everyone who played along with this silly time suck of a game. I truly need a life. I truly do.

Click here to see her prize and order one for yourself!


donna freakin' reed said...

I apparently also need a life. And not one so pathetic.

Thanks to all the suckers who voted for me. I never win anything, yet I just feel so very, I don't know, pathetic?

Well, I at least hope that you will all read my pathetic blog for some real pity bait.


The Bitchy Waiter said...

Donna, email me at sideofmustard@gmail.com

Need your address.

Corinne said...

Oh snap! I was "thisclose"...lol.

So, what's the next challenge Bitchy?

Cynthia said...

I feel that by losing (with a mere 12% of the votes), I have somehow become even more pitiful here. Congrats to Donna, and I hope the lumpiness is normal.