Thursday, February 3, 2011

Is Jean-Claude Van Damme a Bad Tipper?

I have not thought of Jean Claude-Van Damme in so long that I kinda assumed he was teaching karate in a basement somewhere, but lo and behold he was in the news the other day and it involved tipping a server. Apparently, he went to some fancy schmanzy nightclub in Los Angeles and only tipped his server $40 on a $940 bill. This is according to TMZ, so you know it's true, right? Well, then it came out that there was a 15% gratuity added to his bill and the $40 was in addition to that. So what started out as this story that made the guy look a cheap ass bitch, turned out to inform us he was actually pretty generous. Now I don't really know Mr. Muscles From Brussels from Steven Segal to Jackie Chan or any other action hero and I have never seen one of his movies. (Although a quick Google search shows me I need to rent his 1984's Monaco Forever where he played "Gay Karate Guy." Netflix, here I come.) The most interesting thing about this "news story" is the server who went out of his way to call TMZ. The restaurant has come out to say that they did in fact add the tip so why did this server want to make Jean-Claude seem like a cheapskate who only tips 4%? Methinks the server had ulterior motives:

  • Maybe the server wanted revenge for going to see Kickboxer 4, Maximum Risk, The Quest, Double Team or any other Jean-Claude Van Damme movie from the last twenty years.
  • It's possible the waiter is a greedy, money-hungry fame whore who wanted his fifteen minutes of fame so he called TMZ hoping that he would end up famous. (Sounds familiar...)
  • Could it be that the server forgot that 15% had already been added and it was an honest mistake? (That's funny.)
  • Perhaps the server was actually that dancer who he humped on live television in Spain and made him pop a boner. She wanted pay-back.
If you go to TMZ, read some of the comments from the asswipes who go to that shitty website. (I totally go to that shitty website.) Here are some of my favorites:

  • I don't care how much the bill is, I never tip anyone anymore. It's a retarded practice. I don't get tips every time I great a customer at work. I do my work and so should a waiter. (This guy is really popular. I think he wrote on my blog a few weeks ago. And he can't spell.)
  • I never understood the whole tipping thing. Employers not the customers should be responsible for the employees wages. Tipping is a luxury not a right. And $40 is enough to cover his cellphone bill for the month. But I think he should be fired for giving the stub to TMZ. (It would be great if our employers paid us a living wage, but they don't. It's how it works. Deal with it. And who is his cell phone carrier that makes him only pay $40 a month?)
  • He did the same thing to me a few years back left like 9 bucks on 150.00 foreign or not he knows the difference. What a complete loser. Then again look at his career. karma is a bitch. (Okay, maybe he really is a cheapskate.)
  • Why does it matter if he ordered a $500 bottle of ABC instead of a $10 bottle of XYZ? It doesn't require any more effort on the waiter's part to open the more expensive bottle. (Because we have to pay taxes on the total of food and beverage not on how many things we carried to the table, asshole.)
Okay. So Jean-Claude Van Damme made it into The Bitchy Waiter. Maybe the end of the world really is on the way.

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ChiTown Girl said...

Oh my freakin' hell!!! That dance video was HYSTERICAL!!!!

Jordan said...

Too funny. I think the waiter must have been drunk! Thanks for sharing the TMZ quotes. People are unbelievable!

Tempy said...

I f@#king hate it when people don't understand how/why tipping works. Have them make $2/hr and see how it feels to be a server/host/babysitter/food expert all at once.

bistis6 said...

Ryan Gosling - shitty tipper. I waited on him and his parents about 7 years ago, and was thanked with a lousy 10% gratuity.

Mike O'Malley - great tipper. Came in with a friend and left a 100% tip. True, the bill was only $36 and change, but still.

I've also waited on a post-allnighter Mischa Barton and her coked up little friend, who ran into the bathroom every five minutes - I'm surprised she even wanted to eat. Total twats. They were pissed because we didn't have silver dollar pancakes. Um, they taste the same no matter what size they are. Ran me to death and left a shitty tip.

Molly Shannon - just a great person all around. Friendly, gracious, and positive. Above average tipper.

Julia Roberts - could barely look me in the eye, but her husband was very nice. Good tipper.

Hilary Swank - totaly self-absorbed, but she liked my service and always asked for my section. Good tipper.

California Girl said...

yup, "too funny" is right. I had to go to the web site and view the dance. Too bad it was fuzzy and little; the web site picture not his boner which, btw, I couldn't really see.

Winston said...

Gee, I want to know 15 minutes of fame. Think I'll call TMZ and report that there is a bitchy waiter alive and well in NYC. Wow! I can sense the tsunami of fame rolling over my bod now!

Toni said...

To be fair, I don't think most people are aware of the whole tax thing. But that's still no excuse for bad tipping. I always leave 20% for mediocre service and more for good service. But I guess that's just me.

Hockey Cardboard said...

what a douche - i heard Europeans are historically bad tippers - so say my parents, who go there quite often - terrible van damme you

J.J. said...

TMZ is so much jackassery that I wonder if an option you dsidn't list was that the server called TMZ to talk about how generous the dude was and some jackwagon at TMZ decided to report it however he or she felt like was the most "newsworthy."

People who don't understand tipping shouldn't leave their houses.

TheRapist said...

a big shut the fuck up to a lot of you. if people don't understand tipping it wouldn't hurt much to educate. we all saw the movie 'waiting', so we're basing scenarios off of that. you guys are glorified beggars who deserve what you put into it. your job isn't rocket science; it just involves bringing shit and taking it away. maybe if you cunts gave someone a handjob you'd get a good tip. remember tip is something you expect for your service, not a mandatory fee, but if you are dissapointed why not just include an automatic 15% on the bill; at least this way people will know outright what they owe and not play cheapskate. the whole industry depends on some customer's decision/how can you expect them to make the right one 100% of the time...

Mike said...

Tipping should be banned. It's a money income that can't be controlled or taxed. I never give tips. It's ruining the state economy plan.