How To Spill Beer on Your Political Leader

By now you have probably seen the video where the German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, gets covered in a beer bath by a waiter. It's every server's worst nightmare. It happened at some Ash Wednesday event where she was speaking. If Ash Wednesday events in Germany involve drinking pints of beer, then sign me up for a Catholicism right away, because I had no idea. From what I know about international politics (nothing) the Chancellor of Germany is the head of government much like the Prime Minister in Great Britain, the President in the United States and Shift Leader at Applebee's.



According to reports, the waiter is named Martin and he was taking the beer for another server who was too nervous to carry the tray. Martin was all, "I'll do it, ya!" and the next thing he knew he was giving his political leader a golden shower. He has been quoted as saying "I was shoved from behind, and tried to catch the beers, but it was too late." After reviewing the tape, I do in fact see a man in a dark suit squeezing past Martin and it appears that the man's back bumps into the tray. However, it seems to me that the five beers were already on their way to say hello to Ms. Merkel before the man made contact with the tray. In my opinion, the server was carrying the tray in an impractical way. Why is he letting it rest on his forearm? Poor form, Martin, poor form indeed.

Chancellor Merkel takes it like someone who is used to having beer poured all over her. Maybe she was once a St. Pauli Girl and beer on her back is as common to her as a margarita is on mine. (Long story.) She simply smiled and went right on drinking the one beer that made it to her table. You know that in her head she was trying to calculate where the nearest Dress Barn was so she could buy a new suit, but on the outside she was as cool as a cucumber with a side of sauerkraut.

The real drama queen of the event was the chick in the blue sweater who brought her hands to her face in sheer terror after it happened, but then she acted like she was just fixing her hair and it was no big deal. And what about the blond on the right-hand side of the screen who is all Miss Kiss-Ass and rushes over with a napkin and then hands her a new beer? Bitch, please, nobody likes you, we can tell. My favorite response is the chick at 19 seconds who's face is saying, "Whatever, not my problem, I want some bratwurst."

Maybe it's just me, but this whole things seems like it came right out of an episode of Family Matters. Urkell is trying to make some extra money to buy himself some new suspenders so he gets a job at a German beer hall. After some confusion involving his apron strings being too long he finally carries out his first tray of beer and wouldn't you know it? He has to serve the German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

"Hello, Chancellor Merkel, my name's Urkel. Oh my goodness, our names rhyme. I can't wait to tell Carl that I met you and that our names are practically one in the same. Hey, can I get an autograph? I just know that Carl will never believe me."

At this point Urkel loses his balance because his apron strings accidentally got tied to his shoelaces and he spills five beers on Chancellor Merkel.

"Did I do that?"

laugh track, fade to black.




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