Get some Bitchy Waiter in your email!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

How To Spill Beer on Your Political Leader

By now you have probably seen the video where the German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, gets covered in a beer bath by a waiter. It's every server's worst nightmare. It happened at some Ash Wednesday event where she was speaking. If Ash Wednesday events in Germany involve drinking pints of beer, then sign me up for a Catholicism right away, because I had no idea. From what I know about international politics (nothing) the Chancellor of Germany is the head of government much like the Prime Minister in Great Britain, the President in the United States and Shift Leader at Applebee's.

According to reports, the waiter is named Martin and he was taking the beer for another server who was too nervous to carry the tray. Martin was all, "I'll do it, ya!" and the next thing he knew he was giving his political leader a golden shower. He has been quoted as saying "I was shoved from behind, and tried to catch the beers, but it was too late." After reviewing the tape, I do in fact see a man in a dark suit squeezing past Martin and it appears that the man's back bumps into the tray. However, it seems to me that the five beers were already on their way to say hello to Ms. Merkel before the man made contact with the tray. In my opinion, the server was carrying the tray in an impractical way. Why is he letting it rest on his forearm? Poor form, Martin, poor form indeed.

Chancellor Merkel takes it like someone who is used to having beer poured all over her. Maybe she was once a St. Pauli Girl and beer on her back is as common to her as a margarita is on mine. (Long story.) She simply smiled and went right on drinking the one beer that made it to her table. You know that in her head she was trying to calculate where the nearest Dress Barn was so she could buy a new suit, but on the outside she was as cool as a cucumber with a side of sauerkraut.

The real drama queen of the event was the chick in the blue sweater who brought her hands to her face in sheer terror after it happened, but then she acted like she was just fixing her hair and it was no big deal. And what about the blond on the right-hand side of the screen who is all Miss Kiss-Ass and rushes over with a napkin and then hands her a new beer? Bitch, please, nobody likes you, we can tell. My favorite response is the chick at 19 seconds who's face is saying, "Whatever, not my problem, I want some bratwurst."

Maybe it's just me, but this whole things seems like it came right out of an episode of Family Matters. Urkell is trying to make some extra money to buy himself some new suspenders so he gets a job at a German beer hall. After some confusion involving his apron strings being too long he finally carries out his first tray of beer and wouldn't you know it? He has to serve the German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

"Hello, Chancellor Merkel, my name's Urkel. Oh my goodness, our names rhyme. I can't wait to tell Carl that I met you and that our names are practically one in the same. Hey, can I get an autograph? I just know that Carl will never believe me."

At this point Urkel loses his balance because his apron strings accidentally got tied to his shoelaces and he spills five beers on Chancellor Merkel.

"Did I do that?"

laugh track, fade to black.

Click here to follow The Bitchy Waiter on Twitter.
Click here to find The Bitchy Waiter on Facebook.


LS said...

Pilsner Urkel.

AG said...

Hilarious, ja! You're totally right. He was being a little clumsy and was probably a lot nervous - a bad combination. Those two women are great, especially Home-Aloner in blue. She makes the whole thing.

I'd love to see that Urkel scene, for real. You should totally write Family Matters fanfic. (You already do, don't you.) This is for you:

Vanessa said...

There was a second there after the beer went down her back - if she hadn't been in public she would have cursed like a sailor.

And yes, those beers were headed for her back no matter what.

I waited tables one summer at an amusement park. One where the ketchup bottles were refilled nightly. Only problem with that is not all of the staff was conscientious and usually there was a layer of month old ketchup at the bottom of the bottle fermenting away. I had the mortifying experience of exploding ketchup - on a customer. To this day, I carefully scrutinize any ketchup bottles I encounter before using it.

JoeinVegas said...

Heard about the incident, thanks for the commentary.

Anonymous said...

This was horrible. I am mortified for the young-ish man. Something similar happened to me when I was a waitress. Thankfully, I spilled the drinks on myself, so I still got a tip from the table.

Anonymous said...

Can't help wondering what would happen if this was the American president. Hard to even imagine Bush or Obama drinking beer much less secret service not freaking out on the poor sod who dowsed them in it.

SharleneT said...

Well, I've looked at it, over and over, and that guy in the suit hit him early enough to raise the back of the tray. Granted, the tray on the arm wasn't the smartest move, but there's always somebody that has to get their a** on camera at these events. The guy could have walked around the other way. But, where there's beer, there's forgiveness -- or, a fight!

Mary A. said...

Makes me proud of my 15% German heritage.


Anonymous said...

Miss Kiss-Ass looks soooooooooo annoying. I know her type. Always has to jump in the fray and make things more annoying!

Josie said...

The genius way that you "tie" other stories in with your main story STILL never ceases to amaze me. PLEASE Bitchy....write a book. Please. I beg you. A book. One little book. Or big book. Best seller. For sure. Do it. You. Soon.

Yep. Thanks.


ellynad said...

The only time in my illustrious 25 year serving career that I have ever cried on the job is when I was 8 months pregnant with my son. I accidentally spilled red wine at a table and it splashed on the couple. The guy was a jackass to me, even after I apologized profusely and diffused the situation as best I could. I went in the back and started crying, and couldn't stop. My boss came over and I said, "You know would normally never do this, but I'm going home. It will never happen again." A co-worker took over my section, and I went home. My husband took me out for a steak dinner. I tipped the server 50 percent.
That was 8 years ago. I blame the pregnancy hormones. Thank God that was my last baby! I have spilled a few times since, but NEVER cry. Probably because most people, like the German Chancellor, are decent human beings and understand the word ACCIDENT.

manikumar lokam said...

Why are the Adidas sneakers  so very much popular among men?
Why is black Adidas shoes so very much popular  among women?
White retro Jordans  are extremely popular.