Wednesday, March 20, 2013

A Comment on Comments

A few days ago, I posted a picture on the Bitchy Waiter Facebook page that was making fun of those customers who tell us they are ready to order and then make us stand there for five minutes while they try to make a decision. How many times has a customer insisted they they know what they want and then you have to watch the bitch dig through her purse to find her glasses so she can lay her eyeballs on the menu for the first time ever?

"I can see you're not quite ready to order so I'll give you some more time, ma'am."

"No, no no! I'm ready, I'm ready! Ummm, lemme see. Do you have salad? Wait, I dunno if I want a salad or not, I just had a salad two weeks ago. Do you have soup? Or what about onion rings? Hey, do you have one of those Awesome Blossom thingys? I'm trying to get in a vegetable serving."

"No, ma'am, we don't have Awesome Blossom Thingys. I'll let you look at the menu a little bit more and come back in three minutes."

"No, no, no! I'm ready, I'm ready. Hmmmmm."

If you're not ready, you're not ready. You don't have to make us watch you go through every single possibility. Just say you're not ready and we will come back in a few minutes, I promise.

One person took offense to the photo. Why she is on a Facebook page called Bitchy Waiter, we will never know. If someone comes to this blog or the Facebook page and thinks something that they see is bitchy, then I feel I have accomplished what I set out to do. The woman who didn't like the photo is named Lacy and here is what she had to say:

If you were a GOOD waiter you could help them make a decision.... God forbid someone earn their tip. I'm so sick of rude servers. When you're a server you need to remember even if a customer is getting on your nerves, they're paying you! jeez!!

Lacy, Lacy, Lacy, please get back into your suburban home, continue watching all the Dr. Oz episodes you have on DVR and shut the fuck up. If you were a GOOD customer, you would understand that you're not the only fucking person in my section and I don't have time to watch you try to decipher the difference between a roasted chicken breast and a grilled pork chop. We all know you're going to order a cheeseburger with fries anyway. Earning my tip does not mean that I have to spoon feed you suggestions of what to order. I don't know what you want. What if I suggest my favorite dish only to learn that you have a peanut allergy and you can't eat the Chinese Chicken Salad? What then, Lacy? Did I earn my tip even though you didn't take my suggestion? I will offer you my opinion if you ask what is better between two choices, but I will not suggest food if you haven't even bothered to look at the menu yet. Giving a customer more time to decide what they want to order is not rude. In fact, I find it to be the opposite of rude. Rude would be me saying, "Look, you said you were ready to order so what the fuck do you want, bitch??" 

We get it, Lacy. You're one of those people who likes to remind us that the customer is always right and that if it wasn't for you, we servers wouldn't have jobs. Well, that's a two-way street, Lacy. I can just as easily say to you that you need us because if it wasn't for the waiter, all you would have for lunch is another Slim-Fast shake and a bag of Doritios. We servers do remember that even if a customer is getting our nerves they are paying us. However, do you keep in mind that even if a waiter is getting on your nerves, he's still the one that is allowing you to have that love affair with all things deep-fried? Jeez!!

Lacy went on to say:
I get your frustration, but as a patron, it's frustrating to see pages and pictures like this online. So yeah, I get a little annoyed to see that I'm paying people to go home and mock me on Facebook.

Here is my advice to you, Lacy: stop looking at Bitchy Waiter! Cut me from your life and you can be certain that you will no longer see these horrific images from me. Simple, isn't it? Fare thee well, Lacy. Good luck dining out for I have reason to believe that waiters do find you annoying. Hell, I find you annoying as all fuck and I have never even waited on you.

Download The Bitchy Waiter App for Android here.

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Lozav said...

UGH....that troll is probably one of the mom's who brings her double stroller into a restaurant and parks it in everyone's way.

rebeccamedley said...

You know, I don't remember the last time I had bad service. But then, I'm not an asshole customer, either. It's funny how that works.

Jimmy T said...

OHH How I Love You!!!

Poor, poor dumbass, Lacy...bless her heart... said...

Please keep doing what you do, BW, and don't let the losers like Lacy change a thing about you. Some (stupid) people seem to forget why they go to restaurants and don't remember to look at the menu until you tell them to.

Anonymous said...

Everyone deserves a place to vent about how stupid people are, preferably with others who understand. Lacy needs to relax.

ShittyWaiter said...

Your job is not to suggest items? Is that a serious statement? If your not suppose to suggest items then why conduct employee tastings and food tests? These are done so you know the menu and use your knowledge to assist the guest.

If you want to write and order down, have the runner drop off the food and then expect 20% your out of your mind. If you don't want to put in the efort, then you should've expect the customer to either.

Unknown said...

Yeah she is one of those customers, that ask for water lite ice, with lemon on the side. She got mad because she knows she is an attention hound and is feeling guilty that she is that pain in the ass customer and she didn't like being called on it. maybe she needs to take a long look in the mirror and see the how she treats others, she needs to step out of her bubble for once.

Josh A. said...

Funny thing is, if you aren't a crappy customer, the servers won't go on FB and mock you. MOF, I'm friends on FB with quite a few of the people who wait on me. Do you think they would be friends with me if I was a crappy customer?

Jenny said...

While some people are scared to tell me to go away (am I really that intimidating?) and give them a few more minutes, most people luckily tell me that they're not ready or I suggest to them that I can come back later and they say yes. How is this rude exactly? If anything it is giving them the opportunity to have the full right to what they want, instead of forcing something on them either through mere suggestion or insisting they order now right this second because another group of people are entering the restaurant...
"It is frustrating to see these posts and pictures online..." It's also frustrating to see a pig fucking a dog online so I don't look at it! It's the fucking internet bitch, what do you expect?!

Anonymous said...

I took a good look a Lacy Deans facebook page, and you can tell by looking at her she just doesn't understand the problem, cause that chick would probably eat just about anything.

maxi said...


Bitchy clearly said he can make recommendations when the customer is stuck between a couple of choices, that's why we taste everything know the menu. Otherwise I use my awesome but non-existant telepathic powers to determine exactly what the customer wants so they don't have to go through the tiresome rigmoral of looking at the pesky menu.

Actually I never hang around when this happens, especially if its busy. I dismiss myself and come back in a couple of minutes.

Sam M. said...


I think I speak for a lot of servers when I say suggesting items from the menu isn't the problem here. The problem is when the customer isn't ready to order at all and keeps us from getting to other tables. If someone asked me for my opinion on a dish or to discuss a menu item, I would be happy to do so. I enjoy talking up our menu and what makes the dishes unique. However, I don't really have time to hang out and stare at the top of your head while you look at the menu for the first time and try to determine the difference between a burger and a salad.

Anonymous said...

Um, could you please rewrite this in English? 'Your' means 'belonging to you'. I suspect you mean 'you're', which means 'you are'. SupposeD to. And order? EfFort. ExpectED? To either what?

anne marie in philly said...

lacy needs to get laid.

and is shittywaiter springs1 in disguise? quick, the ranch dressing!

Anonymous said...

I was a server when i was younger. I would never push a dish and to say its our job to read to them is a joke. I woked with fish mostly and i hate fish so no i so that a bad server. No it doesn't. I had one couple that husband was fully blind.and wife was almost with him. Great.couple but not even they asked me on first visit they attended with their son and he read it to them. Next visits which where every week they wrote down what they want to try on a recorder. If blind people can figure out a menu im sure everyone can. My job was to bring you menu assist in your order and bring you your order and bill. I rarely have bad service as i know the job even if the food is horrible tell the manager quietly and never expect anything in return. I always tell them.somrthing doesnt taste.right.just ita sad to see my generation becoming so lazy. probably the type of person to complain her fries are cold then not take.the plate and.want batch
When you return with new batch old.batch is gone and when you nicely ask why he ate the cold fries you get I was hungry and snatches the new ones.and says i better not get billed for this!

Lacy boy cot.restaurants and do us all a favour!

Hillary said...

The idea that it's a waiter's job to magically know what you are going to like is bullshit. Our tastes are different. I happily tell people suggestions when they ask me, but 9 times out of 10, even though I give them 4-5 suggestions (because our food is great and I like a lot of things on the menu) they STILL find something I didn't list to order. Because honestly, they don't give a shit. They're going to order what looks good to them. They just want a couple extra minutes of attention to feel like they've had some sort of connection with another human being at least once that day.

chacha1 said...

You know, I've never yet had a waiter run away when I asked him/her to recommend an item. When you ask nicely, servers are generally nice in return. But then, I READ THE MENU before asking.

If I'm not sure what I want yet, I tell the waiter "I need a little more time, thanks." They can then go see to other customers, and everybody's happy.

It constantly amazes me how some people seem to think every other person on the planet should stop whatever they are doing to give undivided attention and unlimited time to them. Lacy sounds like one of those.

Sorry to break it to you Lacy, but the world actually does NOT revolve around you ... not even in a restaurant.

server please said...

Ugh. My restaurant is in a highly tourist populated part of Boston, as well as close to a very prestigious college with many international students. That being said, in general, Asians almost ALWAYS wave me over, even if I am taking another tables order, running food, at the computer putting an order in or closing someone out, whenever they want me to drop EVERYTHING I am doing, and go to their table. "We are ready to order" "Okay, great!" They proceed to order one of the entrees the entire table will be sharing....and continue to look through the menu for another 2-3 minutes discussing what other 2 items they should get to all share. Forcing me to stand there awkwardly the entire time. And of course, even though I came to them at their beckon call, despite having 15 other things to do, I still get a far below 10% tip...

Kalei's Best Friend said...

That chick is totally wrong.. She is the one who walked in and was given a menu... Its obvious she really wasn't that hungry!. It ain't rocket science in choosing food off a menu..

sally said...

To all you idiots named ShittyWaiter out there who expect a waiter to "recommend" what you should order-- 9 times out of 10 that waiter is going to recommend either the most expensive dish or whatever they were told to "push" that night at the staff meeting. Most restaurants I have worked have little contests on occasion to sell the most of something. Whether it be pina coladas because the bar manager ordered too many pineapples, or swordfish because it's about to turn--you are rarely getting the server's true opinion. Even though I might like the veggie stir fry the best because I'm a vegetarian or on a diet--I'm going to tell you to order the lobster risotto because it's one of the the most expensive things on the menu and my tip might be higher because of it.

Get how that works ShittyWaiter? Run along now and be a decent human being and don't go out to eat unless you are willing to at least read a menu.

Jordan said...

"Oh and uhh...push the fish, its about to turn!"

Anonymous said...

I assume that you also meant that the customer shouldn't be expected to tip 20%. If you read it as written, the customer SHOULD'VE (should have) been expected to tip 20%.

Anonymous said...

Lacy, honey you would not be mocked if you learn a simple rule. Learn to read a menu...then feel free to ask questions. It really is that simple luv. I'm a flight attendant and when people ask "what do you have?" I always reply "a menu" with a smile of course:)

Anonymous said...

If you really think we're going home and making fun of you, then you deserve it. If you want to change that become a better customer.

ZoeBallantine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I had a customer who asked me if I preferred the steak over the meatballs, and I said I'd never had either because I didn't eat red meat. Not that it matters, but the only reason is because I have acid reflux and red meat really fucks it up.

He got mad, ordered a cheeseburger, and left me 8% after not looking at/speaking to me for the rest of the meal. Oh, except to ask if my monroe piercing was "on the gay side or the straight side." I could not cash him out fast enough.

I never minded suggesting items either, but some people get offended for some reason if whatever you say isn't to their liking--like they're sincerely pissed you don't know their tastes, allergies, etc.

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brazil said...

or how about the fact that when you do suggest something, and its nasty they blame it on you silently ..and that comes out of your tip If they wasn't happy.

#It was good me

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