A Comment on Comments

Once upon a time, a long long time ago, I started this blog called The Bitchy Waiter. It was back when I was still fresh and young like a juicy peach just waiting to be picked. The third blog post I ever wrote was a wispy little thing called Are You Really Allergic To That? It only got a few hits because I was a newbie blogger and nobody cared. Not much unlike today, really. A couple of months ago, someone posted a comment. They may have been a little tardy to the party, but that doesn't mean that I can't comment about their comment. Shall we begin?

Actually, I find you annoying!!! I actually am allergic to MSG, Cherries, artificial sweetener, and a few other things. My throat will actually swell up if I even come near these foods. 

Am I to believe that if you walk past a bowl of cherries or a packet of Splenda, your throat will swell up. You don't even have to eat them? Now that is really fucking allergic and not at all in any way whatsoever an exaggeration.

I do my best not to order foods that do not contain any of my allergies but sometimes I have to change or take something off of my plate. I know it can be aggravating but that is how it is. I have been a waitress before and I did not mind changing an order or accommodating someone with allergies. I do not believe you should be a waiter or even work in this profession.

I agree. I should not be a waiter or even work in this profession. Starting tomorrow, I will be an astronaut. Can't wait.

You are not suited to be a waiter. You are more annoying than you say your customers are. You are abusive and rude to children. You should never call a child the names you call them and you should not react in an abusive way to children.

According the closet full of black pants and shirts with food stains all over them, I am perfectly suited to be a waiter. Also, you have not met me or my customers so you have no way to judge who is the most annoying. You'll just have to take my word for it that the customers are more annoying than I am. As for me abusing children and calling them names, I hardly consider feeding an asshole child Tabasco sauce when their parents aren't looking an abusive act. I think it falls more under the sadist column, for sure.

You should be FIRED from your job and be banned from being a waiter any where in this country!

I agree. Please alert my bosses that you think I should be fired for offending you. I know they will be so happy to hear from you. Please let me know how to get on that list for being banned from being a waiter anywhere in this country. All these years, I have just been doing it one restaurant at a time, but if there is a quicker way to being blacklisted, I'd love to know about it.

I do hope that one day you are treated the way that you treat others and I also hope that you will be treated exactly in the way you want to treat others. 

I hope that someday you can figure out how to not the say the same thing twice in one sentence and I also hope you can figure out exactly how to not say the same thing twice in one sentence.

I also hope you never have children but if you do, then do the decent thing and give them up for adoption to a family who will love and treasure children the way they should be treated.

Trust me, I am not having kids. That is one treasure I don't want. I like spending my money on things like Paris vacations and iPads instead of baby formula and diapers. Some people may call that selfish, but I think it's smart. There are plenty of people who feel the same way I do but went ahead and had kids anyway. Those are the really shitty parents.

I also hope that carma gives you hell and you realize just how cruel, obnoxious, of a person you are....... 

karma......

I hope you get fired, and have to grow up and realize how blessed you were to have a job and realize how much of a jerk you were and that is why you have lost your job. 

I hope I get fired and then have more time to write emails with long run on sentences and send them out to blogs and just keep on making the sentence longer by adding "and" to it and so on and so on.

Maybe you will become homeless, and so poor that you would be happy to have a job. Because at this point you should not look down through your over sized arrogant nose at others and realize you are scum off the bottom of the people you SERVE shoes. 

Anyone who can look down through their nose has some weird fucked up nose shit happening. Also, I am not scum off the bottom of the people I SERVE shoes. I am the scum off the bottom of the shoes of the people I SERVE.

I believe that being a waiter/waitress can be a Nobel profession just as any other job can be unless you reduce yourself to being scum! And believe me you have reduced yourself to scum. 

I did not realize that waiting tables was a Nobel profession. I am so excited that I am in the running for that. I might be the first scum to win the Nobel Peace Prize.

Grow up and learn how to your job without being a pain in the butt. Or quit your job and find a job somewhere where the sight of you will not make every one around you want to puke when in your presence... May God have mercy on all the people who have to put up with someone like you and your big headed arrogant self!!!! 

You have never worked with me so you don't know that I am a pain in the butt. I might be, I might not be. You don't know for certain. Perhaps it would be better if I found a job out of the view of humanity so that people can stop puking when they see me. Perhaps a job in the sewers would be good for me. That way, very few people will see me and if they do see me and feel the need to puke, they will be right there in the sewer anyway so it'll be no big deal. Trouble is, I don't have any experience working in the sewers. Would it be alright if I used you for a reference? You seem to be the best sewer troll whore around and I am sure your name will get me far in the world of sewage. Maybe then, God will have mercy on all the people who have put up with my big head!!!!! Truth be told though, it's not my head that is big, it's just the hair.

Thank you for your comment. It was great.

Love,
The Bitchy Waiter



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