By the time you read this, I will be in merry old foggy London town.
Yes, I poured myself into economy class on British Airways for a very bitchy
European vacation. After a few days of wining and dining in London, I am
going to see what waiters are like in Paris, France. I hear that all of
them are old crusty lifers who are bitter, jaded, angry and hate
tourists. In other words, it will be just like sitting in my very own
station. If they are in fact as rude as I have heard them to be, I will
be looking into a work visa so I can wait tables in a land where I will
fit in. I bet you a Euro that they don't have any Olive Gardens or Red
Lobsters over there and I hear that servers get paid a living wage. It sounds like a dream come true. Sacre bleu!
In my absence, I have found several people who were willing to write
guest posts for me, so The Bitchy Waiter blog can keep on rolling just
like the actual Bitchy Waiter who will keep on rolling his drunk ass from
bar to bar while doing some sightseeing and general tourist crap. While
in London, I have plans to see Queen Elizabeth and Prince Harry. I sent
out an email to both of them seeing if they want to meet for a Pimms Cup
in Hyde Park. I haven't heard from either yet, but I know Liz has
trouble understanding how email works and she probably sent me a message via
courier pigeon instead. As for Prince Harry, well, he's been busy. While
in Paris, my main goal is to drink as much sparkling Californian wine
as possible.
Anyway, yes there will be guest bloggers. Please treat them with the
same respect that I give to the customers who sit in my station. (Okay, that is
hilarious.) Comment, share and by all means, go visit their blogs. The
only thing they are getting out of contributing to The Bitchy Waiter is
the hope for a little exposure, so please do not disappoint them. On the
other hand, never forget how shallow and needy I am. If any of you
forsake me for one of them, I will never get over it and will spend the
rest of my life drowning my sorrows with tequila shots. ("So, what else
is new?" says anyone who has read this blog more than once.)
I hope to be able to maintain the Bitchy Waiter Facebook page while I am away but vacation may get the best of me. My trusty admin Ron will be filling my slip-resistant shoes while I am away and he is much wittier than I am. Don't get used to anything if the Facebook page suddenly seems smarter than usual. In a couple of weeks I will be back and it will be dumbed down once again.
Thanks, everyone. Now get out there and treat your customers with respect and understanding so you can be paid back in 20% tips and pats on the asses. As of this second, I am on vacation where it feels okay to drink before noon. ("So, what else
is new?" says anyone who has read this blog more than once.)
love,
BW
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12 comments:
Have a great time!
Have a great time...might see your lovely mane in Trafalgar Square!!
A-reva-derchy Bitchy!! Are you going to bring me a present?
Check out the *Queen* on twitter @Queen_UK - she's got a book out and app called Gin O Clock
Check out the *Queen* on twitter @Queen_UK - she's got a book out and app called Gin O Clock
Safe travels and may your margarita cup be always full!
~ PolishSpring
I am so excited for you! You are also inspiring me to renew my freakin' passport already. Thanks and have a blast.
Have a great trip, Bitchy Waiter!! Don't get on any flight home from London carrying a weird ass old vase like I saw in the movie "Airborne" last night, hahha!!
Welcome to Europe! Don't be jealous of our minimum wage, it means we don't get tipped :(
Have fun on your trip, unfortunately you'll have to go to Afghanistan to see Prince Harry so you'll have to settle on having tea with the Queen
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