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Monday, September 10, 2012

Dear Abby versus Dear Bitchy Waiter (Waiter in a Wig!)

 I found a letter to Dear Abby this weekend that caught my eye and I had to respond. I loves me some Dear Abby, but sometimes her responses are just a little too sweet.

DEAR ABBY: Last night at a restaurant, my husband and I were surprised to see a male server wearing a blond wig and full makeup. I was, to say the least, shocked and glad we hadn’t brought the children, ages 11 and 14, with us. How do you explain something like that to an 11-year-old? The 14-year-old would be able to “get it.” What kind of policies are in place for restaurants in cases like this? What if customers are offended? Could I request a different server or just leave? Your comments would be appreciated.— TAKEN ABACK IN CALIFORNIA 

DEAR TAKEN ABACK: In California, people have the legal right to dress in a style not typical of their gender without fear of discrimination or retaliation. That right is protected by state law. If customers find it offensive, they can either request a different server or take their business elsewhere. Presumably, the customer would pay for food that had already been prepared. Because children today grow up quickly and are less sheltered than in past decades, I recommend you explain to your 11-year-old not all people are alike, and the importance of treating others with respect. It’s called reality.

Okay, Abby gave a pretty good answer there but I think that she needed to give a little bit of tough love to stupid ass Taken Aback. Here is my response:

DEAR TAKEN ABACK: Hello? It's 2012. We are no longer living in a fucking fantasy world where gender roles are are cut and dry. If your waiter wants to wear a blond wig and makeup then he can wear the fucking blond wig and makeup. Personally, I would be much more offended if a waitress showed up at my table wearing blue eyeshadow and frosted tipped winged hair. Talk about offensive. As for your 11 and 14 year-olds, thank God they were spared the "horror" of seeing someone living his life the way he wants to live it without the need to hide his true self. Your kids should be so lucky to have the courage that the waiter has. If your letter is any indication of how close-minded you are, God help your children if one of them ends up being gay or lesbian. They will most likely be fearful of your response and try to keep it hidden and we all know how great that goes. 

As for policies in "cases like this," who cares? Restaurants should be more concerned with policies that keep narrow-minded assholes out of their dining rooms. Sure, you had the option to request another server since it must have been truly an awful experience for you to eat your chicken wings while having to look at a man in a wig. How did you ever survive? And yes, you had the option of leaving. Had you done that, you could have walked out with your head held high so that all the world would know you're an idiot. I'm sure if you had, every server would have thanked their lucky stars that they didn't have to serve your bigoted ass. 

In the world today, I am certain that your kids have seen much more shocking things on the Internet than a waiter in a wig. If you think it would have been difficult to "explain" to your kids, you are not giving them near enough credit. Kids today are pretty smart. They know what gay is. They know what transsexual is. And they also know that the chicken wings you ordered are non-organic and were thawed out in the microwave. Give 'em some credit.

Thank you for your letter. It serves as a reminder that no matter how many steps the LGBT movement has made, there are still many more to take. It takes people like you to show the rest of the world how silly it is to be so petty over something as inconsequential as wig and a makeup. Get the fuck over it. 

Love, 
The Bitchy Waiter

Once again, I think I have proven that I totally deserve my own advice column. Damn, I would be good at that. I can't imagine why Huffington Post has not contacted me yet. If you agree, please "like" this story. Or whatever.



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16 comments:

Joanne said...

Well said, by both Dear Abby and you.
I can't believe the chum bucket for brains actually thought this was a worthy issue to bring up (at all) in a letter to (anyone) a newspaper columnist. Sad for her kids, just plain sad.

California Girl said...

Hey, wait a minute! Didn't Flo have frosted hair and wear blue eyeshadow?

Rogue Wino said...

Naturally your response was better Bitchy, but good on Dear Abby for publishing a letter regarding this issue. The mainstream is always two steps behind..

Confessions from the Hairdresser said...

I was hoping to see a possible re-post of one of your Halloween costumes featuring a wig...

Fireblossom said...

He can wait on me. In fact, I would like to take him with me to crash ye olde family Thanksgiving, to which I have been pointedly not invited since i came out eight years ago. I would like us to announce our engagement. He can wear his wig and I'll wear a tuxedo. It will be lovely.

anne marie in philly said...

her kids have probably had oral sex with others and have not told their mother yet. bitch gonna hate!

NayNay said...

I read that article and, no lie, I thought of you dressing in drag for Halloween! I can't believe the ignorance of some people. Shouldn't you be more concerned about more important things, like the cleanliness of the kitchen? Bitch is probably jealous because her waiter looked better than she did!

Anonymous said...

BW, are you sure that original letter didn't come in 1950's sometime and Abby just responded a wee bit late?
I have trouble believing that anyone, especially from liberal Cali, would be such a dumb-ass ..
Kindly,
~PolishSpring

Franky G said...

"How do you explain 'that' to an eight year old? The eleven year old will get it." <<<WTF?

This person won't make her eight year old privy to the golden rule, but expects her eleven year old to 'get' a transsexual.

She's more self-absorbed than Spongebob.

Cool post and funny as always. Mad ups for churning out really good stuff virtually every day. You make it look easy.

If you weren't a comedian TBW would be hard to read all the time.
Could you imagine this blog written in a clinical style?

I'd have offed myself months ago.

I used to think people were generally alright.

Then I found this blog while searching for links one day.

Now I'm convinced the Anunnaki theories are right on the money.

Piled on top of the mom who makes her kids use the world for their litter box, up-to-the-minute evidence our society is mid-swirl in the big flush, and the last few days of unspectacular surreality for me personally, this post was just too heavy.

Gone fishin'

Corey Wilkey said...

I take satisfaction in knowing that this bitch was properly bitch slapped.

Border Collie said...

I agree with PolishSpring. This letter must be from the bottom of the bag. Nobody questions this stuff here in California. The parents must have been recent transplants from someplace else in the 1950s. Even in the 1950s I doubt much fuss would be made. This place is so liberal that conservatives hide. I wish there were better words to use than liberal or conservative, btw, because that implies political parties and that's not actually the case.

SARAH L said...

Welcome to 2012 indeed. If THIS is the biggest problem this dumb ass is dealing with when it comes to her kids, she is in for a shocker when she learns that her kids are probably not that innocent. This woman needs to seriously get a life.

Anonymous said...

Wait, isn't California where Prop H8 was passed? Cali isn't as liberal as it likes to think.

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