A Comment on Comments

It's that time again, when I take time out of my incredibly busy day of watching Project Runway and eating cheese flavored snack foods, to respond to a comment that someone made on one of my blog posts. It's always nice for me to reach out to people and personally speak to one of the readers who keeps this blog going. Without readers, this blog would be as inactive as a bottle of honey mustard dressing in Springs1's house, so I have the utmost respect for everyone who spends any time reading the drivel that falls from my fingertips as I hunt and peck for letters on the keyboard. In a blog post I wrote called Not a Couple of Gay Dudes, Anonymous had this to say:

I'm confused as to what the purpose of this article is about. Assumed gays sitting at a table? Maybe a bad tip? The way they ordered? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?! Rather, why'd you choose to post this, is what I'd really like to know.

Honestly, Anonymous, the post had the same significance as all of my others: very little. I blog, not because it has importance, but because I enjoy doing it. WHAT DOES IT MEAN? It means that those guys said something to me that made me take a mental note so I could write a story about it one day. You see, Anonymous, this thing you are reading on your computer screen right now is called a blog.

Merriam-Webster defines blog as: a Web site that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer. 

So you see? What I do is find things that happen in my restaurant world and try to create little stories out of them. The one you are reading now is number 902 and some of them are more successful than others. What I MEAN by that, is that of the 902 posts I have written, some will resonate for more people than others. Does that makes sense? You see, this isn't CNN or Christian Science Monitor or even Huffington Post. This is The Bitchy Waiter and the musings that appear here don't have to be backed up by facts and meaning or seriousness. It's a fucking blog. My blog. Sometimes, I can just take a simple sentence that a brother utters and then through my twisted brain I can imagine that they are a couple of deeply closeted, espadrille-wearing, ascot-lovin', booty buddies who don't want their waiter to think they're gay. It's quite possible, and more than likely true, that they were in fact a couple of brothers who made a simple remark about not being gay. However, that blog post would not have been fun for me to write or for anyone else to read. Case in point:

"Wow, it's kinda romantic out here. Too bad we're brothers and not a couple of gay dudes," said the man.

"Ha ha. Yes, I agree," said the waiter. "Are you ready to order?"

"Yes," said the man.

"What would you like?" said the waiter.

See? That's boring. Not all blog posts have meaning. They are here for people to read and if they like it they laugh and if they don't like it they leave and go spend their time on more important websites like a gossip blog or porn. And yes, maybe even gay porn. 

In the future, as I write blog posts, I will try to make certain that each one is filled with deep meaning. "What would Anonymous like?" shall become my new mantra. I will write it on a Post-It note and stick it to my computer screen so I will always have your needs before me.

Thank you, Anonymous. Thank you for letting me know that blog post #894 didn't fulfill you. I feel horrible about it. Rest assured that 2013 will be all about making sure some anonymous asshole sitting on the Internet finds meaning in a blog post written on a site called the Bitchy Waiter. Right. Uh huh.



Click here to follow The Bitchy Waiter on Twitter.
Click here to find The Bitchy Waiter on Facebook.