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Monday, September 12, 2011

Dr. Phil ♥'s The Bitchy Waiter



After almost three years of anonymity, today is the day that many people are finally going to put a face to the name of The Bitchy Waiter and it's all thanks to a six foot four inch hunka hunka burnin' love named Dr. Phil McGraw. I am on his show today. It's a little weird that people might see me at work tomorrow and be scared of me but it was a sacrifice I was willing to make for my main squeeze, Dr. Phil. Maybe you came to this blog after you saw me on his show and you liked the pearls of wisdom that dripped from my mouth as I was trying to edumacate this woman:


To you newcomers, I say "welcome." (And why does she say "processed chicken" like it's a bad thing? Colonel Sanders is rolling over in his grave of chicken beaks, partially hydrogenated poultry ass and breading every time she says that.) Many of you come to The Bitchy Waiter every day because you clearly enjoy wasting the time of your employer and you would rather read this than do whatever it is you are supposed to be doing on your computer. To you, I say "Welcome back. And get back to work."

Before anyone comments about what I look like (I'm looking at you, Anonymous), please allow me to beat you to that punch. It has already been brought to my attention that I look like one or more of the following: Carrot Top, Justin Guarini, Kenny G., Sammy Hagar, Larry Fine, Gene Wilder, Sideshow Bob and the love child of Charro and a Q-Tip. If you have any new dopelgängers for me, feel free to post them.

So yes, I am a waiter, and maybe a little bit of a bitchy one, but I can assure you that I am simply saying what most servers are thinking: I hate your kids in my station, I don't want to give you separate checks and I don't give a rat's ass if you say you're allergic to mushrooms when it's obvious that you just don't like them. I will put a lemon in your Diet Coke because that is God's will and it doesn't bother me one bit that the fruit is dirtier than the bottoms of Britney Spears's feet after she takes a leak at a gas station. Also, if you are about to post a comment that says something to the effect of, "if you don't like waiting tables, then why don't you go to college and get a real job," that too has already been covered here and here, so I'm good.

I am glad you are here and I hope you will bookmark this page and come back every now and again. I try to write in a way so that everyone will relate to what I am talking about, not just those who work or have worked in the restaurant industry. My posts usually have something to do with food or waiting tables but sometimes I will throw a curve ball and write something that will make you step back and think about your own life in a new way. Or at least that's what I try to do. I think this post about my Grandma will do that for you and if it doesn't you must be some kind of a non-feeling robot/alien/Nicole Kidman creature.

Being on the Dr. Phil show was a great experience and if nothing else, maybe it will get a few more people to:
The above links should give you a pretty good idea of my needy yet lovable personality. Thank you for visiting and tomorrow it will be back to the bitching. (But seriously, what is that lady's issue with processed chicken?)

love,
BW

101 comments:

Student Nurse Ashie said...

Oh holy processed chicken batman! I love your hair.

Lolamouse said...

If it weren't for processed chicken, my child would have starved! And I'm not ashamed to say it, dammit! Can't wait to see you, BW!

ChiTown Girl said...

Is it wrong that I don't want all these "new" people traipsing around here? Even though I'm thrilled for you and this big boost to your celebrity status, I don't want to share you with more people than I have to. :(

Yes, I know, I'm crazy. That's probably why I love you so much. ;-)

Bitchy Bartender said...

All you say is that people with children should go to a restaurant that HAS a childrens menu... no one said they had to order from it! So go on, give your kid that $19 steak that they wont finish/appreciate, with a side of veggies that they will hurl to the floor while screaming that they wanted fries... that restaurant invited such behavior (at the cost of the rest of the patrons' enjoyment) by PUTTING that childrens menu there.

Bob said...

I've always wanted your hair.
Well, not your hair, but, you know.........

Anonymous said...

OMG THANK YOU!!! I have waited tables for 6 years now and have always hated waiting on those little brats that drive me up the wall. No not all kids are horrible, but I moved up to fine dining to get away from the cheerio militia. Unfortunately they are still there and are worse, because mommy and daddy have spoiled them even more. To all of the who think me horrible, I have a set of twins and if I take them someplace out to eat it is a KID friendly enviorment with the processed chicken that is evil!

Anonymous said...

Can I twiddle your hair?

<3 Anonymous

diatribesandovations.com said...

I do so enjoy wasting the time of my employer! However, I find myself reading your blog on weekends, too! So there!

Anonymous said...

I am currently watching Dr. Phil.. You have hit it right on the head.. I too have been in the resturant business for many years.. UGH kids are a pain in the butt. I worked for a resturant where we had alot of buisness folks in to patronize our resturant.. we would try to keep the kids away from them, but not all times was it possible. parents that bring in outside food and leave it all over the floor and table. It takes you twice as long to clean up and try to get that server their next table sat. I wish more resturants would ban the kids or the parents would go to Mickey D's or the Mouse Hut for pizza. Kudos to you BW!!your not the only server out there complaining about the kids!!

Aurora said...

New to your blog. But I totally agree with what you stand for! And I hate processed chicken. OMG, I adore your hair. ;)

~*Katie*~ said...

I completely agree with you. Overly noisy kids are a pain in the ass in restaurant.@Bitchy Bartender....exactly. Kids shouldn't be going to places that have no kids menu, there's a reason there is no kids menu.

Processed chicken mom took it to the extreme, though, she should be banned from restaurants

I'm Just Sayin' said...

New fan here. Just happened to catch the Dr. Phil show today. I am a retired waiter. I heard the name of your site, and though I got the gist of it and thought it was cute, I had not intended to visit. At least not until that incensed Asian woman started animating her perceived sense of entitlement to impose herself and her child into any space that contains oxygen. Because of her, I just had to come online and say to you, "BRAVO", WELL DONE!

Please allow me to mention that I am a also a mother and a grandmother eight times over.

The added remarks hurled at you, in the aftermath, to "quit waiting tables" if you were so "bothered" by children is a glaring example of how rude, self-centered, and inconsiderate our society has become. It is nothing short of amazing that these are the same people who so vehemently "claim" that it is "they" who are being treated with "disrespect". To them I say, "Toss the narcissism. It's not personal." And to the Asian woman...."yes, your child can have steak...Golden Corral and many other "kid friendly" restaurants serve it.

The restaurant issue is not complicated. Apparently, common sense is.

Everyone is entitled to eat out, including children.

Everyone is entitled to enjoy a quiet dinner. There should be a place that they can go....
especially, the parents who hired a babysitter. (Duh)

You don't take a child into an adult movie theatre and you don't complain that there are noisey children at a Disney movie.

Mary A. said...

My only problem with your looks is that you look like you are about 25 and I am pretty sure you are older than that. I know it's not your fault, but it's just not fair dammit.

Jeff G said...

ARGH! I went to set my DVR to record Dr. Phil today and it is being pre-empted for TENNIS!??! Guess I'll have to watch it online...

SkippyMom said...

I missed it :( I didn't get over here in time, but if the comments are any indication I bet you did just great.

Your hair is fabulous!

Adam said...

I'm so frustrated that everyone has already seen the episode because it's not here for another two and a half hours or so.

I think I'm actually antsy.

Tempy said...

I've never wanted more than to give a woman's child processed chicken.

Anonymous said...

As a waiter and a mother, I don't agree with a "kid ban", but parents should control their children. If they are causing a disturbance, remove them from the area. Know your child's limitations. I am a compulsive "pre-busser" when I eat out and always clean up any messes my kids make. I was sympathetic to the airplane lady till she said that to you about getting another job. How freaking rude. I have 2 college degrees, but can't find a job in my field; waiting tables puts food on my table for my family. It takes a special gift to put up with rudeness gracefully, with a smile on our faces, dealing with people who think dining out entitles them to act like a lord commanding serfs. Being a server, however, makes me less tolerant of other servers who act like everything they do for you is a favor-that attitude is rampant in my tourist town full of trendy eateries. My first comment here, but I've been reading your blog a while now-love you hair<3

Bitchy Bartender said...

All this being said, I don't agree with a child ban in restaurants. I do believe it's the owner's right to do so, and those who can't eat there should just go elsewhere instead of bitching about it... but if I owned a restaurant, I'd rather just post at the hostess stand and somewhere on the menu that unruly and loud children/tantrums will not be tolerated, and parents who don't keep their children in their seats or take their children outside until they calm down will be evicted from the restaurant and still charged their bill.

Tamre said...

Saw you on Dr. Phil. I have been there done that in food service. My parents owned a restaurant. My dad would have backhanded us if we behaved like some of the brats today. Good Luck in work,blogdom and life TJ

Brooke said...

Being compared to Sammy Hagar is not an insult. He's Hot. At least he was during his Van Halen days. Looking forward to Dr. Phil this afternoon!!

Amy said...

Let the children stay at the fast food resturaunts!!! xoxoxoxo

ariel said...

I am currently watching this Dr. Phil episode and let me tell you I completely agree. Parents should leave their damn kids at home. My parents did, I turned out fine.

P.S. you know she is "that woman" with "that kid" that is a complete brat. And I'm pretty sure whole foods as unprocessed chicken tenders that her brat can enjoy. ;)

Erin said...

I wanted to jump through my tv screen and slap that woman. My mother couldn't watch anymore she was so angry with her! I am a server too and people who have never spent time in the restaurant industry simply cannot understand. i

Crunchy Mommy said...

I don't watch Dr. Phil...because I'm not exactly a fan. But I am a fan of you. So I might have to watch.

I will have to say, as someone with food allergies, I've had more than one server attempt to kill me. Literally... 99% of the time someone just doesn't like it..I get it I've done my time in the food service industry. But if you give me a lemon in my non-diet coke...it will actually kill me (well cause me to use an epi pen and have to go to the hospital). Damn those lemons (and oranges, grapefruit, lime, etc)...

Anonymous said...

Watched Dr.Phil. Wanted to see what a Bitchy Waiter wrote cause I hate bitch waiters who approach my table with a sour demeanor or tough you hated the meal. This time I am on your side in every aspect.. children belong at home with a babysitter as well as loud mouthed teenagers along with the parents that raised them and cannot control them. Stay home and order in and give us our evening free of your drama.

Olivia Jackson said...

I cant believe that lady said that you need to get into another profession if this upsets you that much. That's ridiculous. Why don't these parents just control and discipline their children. Why is it an easier solution for you to find another profession than for them to parent their children?

TParis said...

I just so adore and respect you for coming out and saying it. I loved the guy who banned kids from his restaurant, just for the fact that he called the parents of entitled brats, "monosyllabic" jerks. LOL

Seriously, even if you "get a new career", people insist on having their kids EVERYWHERE. I am a Network administrator for an office (not a daycare) and people bring their brats in to "say hi" and destroy everyone's desks, concentration and peace.

Bottom line:
KIDS DO NOT BELONG EVERYWHERE ADULTS GO.
I hate the fact that if I want to be out without kids around, it has to be X rated or full of drunk asses.

Anonymous said...

First i would like to thank you for saying what most of us think. Nothing I hate more when I am spending money for a nice quite evening out than a spoiled little devil spawn screaming in a restaurant. As for the asian woman on the show, how would she like it if my kids came and screamed and made a mess at her nail salon or massage parlor where she works...lol

maryland woman said...

Count me a new fan. If I go to McDonald's I expect to hear noisy children. If I go to a bigger chain restaurant where dinner for 2 is in excess of $50+, I want to be able to enjoy my meal.

Anonymous said...

I have children, they are now 16 and 14. I can honestly say they were well behaved in a restaurant even when they were toddlers! If one or both were getting too loud, or whatever I felt was not good behavior, I would say something to them, if it happened again, I would just firmly have their arm and repeat that I expect them to straighten up in my stern voice. But I rarely had to do that, if a parent is being a parent, most likely they won't have "issues" with their kids whether it's at a restaurant or where ever. I believe too many parents, especially moms, want to be their kids friend and not a parent. just saying...

Terra W said...

I'm your new biggest fan! I have to say, when my kids were little and we took them to a nice, sit down restaraunt, I had servers comment on how well my children behaved. It goes to show, it's all in how the child was raised. I don't feel it's the wait staff's place to tell a parent to control their kid. I have no problem doing so and I have! Great job and love your blog!!

Dani said...

I saw you on doctor Phil and while I'm not going to commend or offend you for your reactions to noisy children I would like to post my opinions. Having worked in the restaurant industry I know how irritating it is to deal with temperamental children, but you grin and bear it. It is also frustrating on the parents, who just want a nice night out. If you are going to ban children for disturbing other patrons, please continue to ban drunks, college students, teenagers sports teams and birthday parties. It's part f human nature to be annoyed with other people but banning them is not the answer, otherwise there will be noone accepted at restaurants to keep that industry going.

workingmomof2 said...

As much as I disagree with the idea of a ban on children, I do agree that they should be taken to child-appropriate restaurants. Like the one I currently work at. It caters to both children and adults, screaming children are a mild annoyance, and the bathrooms usually have paper towels on the floors (which are picked up eventually on a saturday night.) I think that what we need, rather than a ban on children, is to have parents use their common sense and not bring a child to a restaurant that you would go to with your husband/boyfriend/partner for a date night. I also have 2 children, an almost 2 year old, and a 4 month old. I hate the idea of them being banned from somewhere, but I also have the common sense not to bring them there. PS I've always loved Kenny G. :)

Princess Emma said...

Hello,
I thought you were terrific today on Dr. Phil. I just watched 34 minutes of his show before turning off the TV.

People might tolerate children in restaurants if the kids were better behaved. What bothers me are the oblivious parents who let their kids annoy other patrons.

Good luck to you.

workingmomof2 said...

Just wanted to add, that chain restaurants that add up to $50+ for a meal for 2 people, can still very well be geared towards children. If you go to a restaurant with a kids menu, expect kids. End of story.

Anonymous said...

Now I'm 45 and I believe our generation was taught how to behave - our parents were much more strict than most are today. By age 4 my daughter knew how to behave appropriately at a 5 star restaurant. (she's 24 now) I wanted to teach her that and that it's something special.
These days I can not STAND to be around my friends kids - they are horrible!!! There is no discipline, no table manners and nothing but empty threats. If the parents don't raise these kids right then I don't want to sit with them at a restaurant either. I also waitressed in my early 20's and never saw kids this out of control (and I worked at The Ground Round where they had "penny a pound" night!!!)

Anonymous said...

why should someone have to change jobs just because people don't know how to act in public??? I'm an ex waitress of 15 years.. AND I'm a parent.. I make sure I do not take my 6 year old to restaurants that aren't appropriate... I don't WANT my kid with me at an expensive restaurant... Fuck people. Waiting tables is a good honest job..

Elizabeth said...

Hi, the first time I heard of you was today on Dr. Phil. You go, boy!! You didn't say or do anything wrong on the show. That chick who was so up in arms about processed chicken definitely had serious issues! And what was up with the moms telling you that you need to go into a different line of work??? I'll definitely be back to your blog and I'll "like" you on Facebook as well. Cheers!

Anonymous said...

Let me just say, I NEVER watch Dr. Phil but what better day to be too lazy to change the channel! You are great, this blog is great. I was a server for 7 years, but that’s not why I’m here. I’m here because that woman was nuts! How ignorantly aggressive, who does she think her kid is anyway? Its mothers like her that I observe and take note, not be like that when my day comes. I don’t have kids yet but I am the proud Aunt of 4 and a teacher of young children. I know the good, the bad, and the ugly with kids. Call me old school but I sure wasn’t getting a filet at the age of 6. As for the woman on stage telling you to get a new job…haters gonna hate. Even through my TV I could feel the elevated levels of postpartum estrogen up in der! Way to hang!

Anonymous said...

Well I have two sons and when they were little we wouldn't think of taking them to a fancy restaurant. Probably the parents who take a kid to a fancy restaurant are the same parents who let their children sleep in their (the parent's) bed. I think alot of the newer generation have guilt because they have to work and feel that they need to spend as much time as possible with their children. Spend the time at home until your child learns to behave.

Me said...

I love you, and I OWN a restaurant. You can check out my newest blog if you like, it's similar to yours, but probably not quite as funny. I aspire, though. Nice appearance on Dr. Phil! Kudos. :o)

Me said...

I love you, and I OWN a restaurant. You can check out my newest blog if you like, it's similar to yours, but probably not quite as funny. I aspire, though. Nice appearance on Dr. Phil! Kudos. http://getrocked71.blog.com/

Anonymous said...

I don't appreciate your comment about food allergies. I am severely allergic to several things. The way I see it, I pay your salary. If I don't come eat and no one else does the restaurant closes, you lose your job. If I ask for certain things to be left out of my dish I expect them to. You are just a waiter shut up and do your job.

Tempy said...

To the Anonymous person who said:

"I don't appreciate your comment about food allergies. I am severely allergic to several things. The way I see it, I pay your salary. If I don't come eat and no one else does the restaurant closes, you lose your job. If I ask for certain things to be left out of my dish I expect them to. You are just a waiter shut up and do your job."

I am allergic to people like you. Your waiter isn't a mindless slave. When I waited tables, rude people like you were few and far between, thankfully. Most human beings treat everyone with respect - especially people handling their food.

Shantel said...

I am watching Dr. Phil right now and I am completely on your side. I don't like to see/hear children act unruly. If a parent can't control their unruly child in an intimate setting then they shouldn't take their child there.

Anonymous said...

Bitchy!! I can't wait to see this episode of Dr. Phil as I have been reading your blog for quite some time now and I love it and you! You are fabulous and oh so cute!! I'm surprised you went public.

BTW if someone ever tells you to get a different job because you express displeasure at having to serve out of control little crack monkeys, feel free to remind them that if every server who hated serving out of control children quit for another line of work, there would be no servers and they'd be stuck at home feeding their pint-sized jerks microwaved chicken fingers for dinner.

Copacetic Daisy said...

No Kidding Lolamouse I think she is lying.

Mary A. don't you think they have very good make-up artists at the Dr. Phil show?

Excuse me I just had to respond to some of the great comments here.

Oh and Anon about he lying about allergies. It happens all the time John Tesh tell you to do it on his radio show. I once had a woman "allergic to garlic" Said she would die. Then ate ketchup. Yeah her pants are on fire.

Oh my god watching Dr. Phil is painful. Wow.

We had one of those nightmares in our restaurant recently and we tried everything. Almost lowered ourselves to sending a drunk from the bar to entertain. Nothing and no one was able to shut this kid up. Guests got up prematurely, guests complained. Should a manager ask them to box up their food and send them on their way? I'm a Mom and that is exactly what I would have done before anyone had to ask. This place has a child's menu it's over 12 dollars. Doesn't that say no nightmares please.

You were very brave today some of those mom's wanted to choke you in chicken strips.

Anonymous said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE! I am waitress and watching Dr. Phill as I type. I HATE serving kids. My tips and my time spent at work would be much better if kids were banned from the restaurant. I'm sick of losing tables because they "don't want to deal with these unruly kids" hey, I don't want to deal with them either!

Anonymous said...

OK, the woman that you have pictured, in the purple blouse is a total BITCH! O my good Lord, how NOT fun would it be to hang out with her? You however? Yes, I think you would be fun to hang out with:)

JD

Anonymous said...

It ain't the kids...it's the parents...as very much evidenced by the outspoken mama...bravo to you...

ArtIsMyPorn said...

You were right on! I have worked as a server for ten years and if a parent expects smething other than crayons from me, they should look for the place with the giant stuffed rat. We are suffering with a whole generation of non spankers. People were irritated with smokers while they were dining and smoking was snuffed out....well, loud ass screaming jumping running children are giving me brain cancer!

Anonymous said...

I agree that some kids are annoying, but not all. I totally agree with the process chicken women! Almost everything she said is true! why are loud children banned,and not loud adults!

Jessica6485 said...

First off, god bless you! I'm a 9 year waitress/bartender and when I look for a restaurant to work I focus on the places with little or no children. Some of these women on the show are so closed minded that they shouldn't leave the house, let alone procreate. Unless if your child has a disorder there is no reasonable explanation for a child to act in such a matter, except, for the fact it's a mirror reflection of the parent(s) behavior. If they( the parents) want to bring out their brat of a child go to Chucky Chz not my $40 a plate fine dining resturant because you ruining not only everyone's atmosphere but also my tip! And, Oooooh, that lady that told you to change your profession better start looking for a restuarant where no one knows her. I have a degree in Journalism and majored in Music Theater but I still love serving because the hours are great and you can make a ton of money!
Thanks for this wonderful blog and I'll follow you from now on!!

Anonymous said...

Wow, cool blog! I have been in the food service industry for 30+ years, I think I have seen everything. The truth is that parents do not care or discipline thier kids anymore. Its not cute when kids are running through a busy restaurant, hiding under the table, or experimenting with the sugar packets and creamers with thier water. Whats worse is when the party leaves and the floor is covered with friut loops and wads of hamburger bun. Really? Do they allow that at home?? Take kids to "kid friendly" places, and give us worthy servers a break!!

Anonymous said...

Show is still airing but when I heard you say your blog I opened up my laptop and typed in the address. As someone who waited tables for many years from high end to family restaurants I couldn't agree with you more. The individuals who disagree and can't compromise on an issue like this, are the ones who bring in the screaming children and leave the mess behind.
If you brought the cheerio's to keep your toddler in check during your meal, how about you clean up the ones they threw all over the floor before you leave?

Ps- you looked great!

Anonymous said...

I strongly believe you have some serious issues with society and you should see someone that will help you deal. Children are the future you may have issues with them we all do from time to time but telling a child or his parent that he or she has to leave a restaraunt, library, or airplane is obseen. No one has the right to tell someone they are not allowed to eat in a casual restarant or fine dinning establishment, if they are a paying customer they have a right to be there. I believe it is people like you that are the problem today if you cant deal with a situation you take it to a extreme instead of figuring it out for yourself. Part of your job is dealing with children whether they irritate you or not. I understand people have said this before but if you dont like the job or soceity for that matter you should take the little possessions you have a move to a city that has a small population. Everyone has tough days at work and has to deal with people they would rather not be around. Do you honestly believe to have the right to be any different? If the issue in question was a big deal to anyone besides the server would the owner of the establishment not band children himself or herself? they dont do you know why? Ill tell you its because the owner would rather get the money from the customer (which is why he is in business) they appesease you a lowly paid waiter. In society you have no contribution easily replacable an no proper business owner would put you before a ten dollar childrens meal which also brings us to why you have to voice your concerns to the general public instead of starting your own restarant and solving you problems that way. As far as im concerned you are a coward pure bully picking on little kids to make your life seem more managable while you waste everyones time with this nonsense instead of dealing with the real problem which is you. Anti-depressants may help you if you believe your life is garbage picking on little children however cannot. I would have liked to have been at that show to voice my concerns and meet someone so ignorant face to face. It astounds me that you believe anyone should put a bitchy low end waiter before a child that may one day contribute ten times as much to the world then you do. Also I am honestly surprised that dr.phil put this on his show, really what's next we'll interview the homeless with their concerns of how you dont put any change in their cup considering you believe your better then everyone. It would make me very pleased to see a father put you in your place because if you were to tell me my child is being to loud, or I need to shut my kid up that would be the end of your career and probably mine but would be well worth it. Get a life!

Dreaming again said...

I came after seeing you on Dr. Phil, I was a waitress and agreed w/ much of what you said.

I thought I liked your blog till you got to the part about the mushrooms and lemons ... if you tell me something doesn't have strawberries in it, and you've just picked them out ... don't be surprised when you're dialing 911 and my family sends you my medical bills for anaphalactic shock.

I worked with someone who felt much like you, someone had a serious allergy, he laughed it off .. it wasn't funny as we watched the ambulance pull away when all he'd had to have done was been honest when they asked if the shrimp special was being fried in the same frier as the french fries and onion rings.
No, the patient didn'take it. A severe food allergy can itoften kill before we can treat it.

The banning children from certain resteraunts, I'm ALL for. We did not take our children to those when they were little and I really didn't appreciate having other peoples children ruining our 'date night.' If I WANTED children around I'd have brought mine!

Kenya said...

You're gorgeous!!

Queen of the Damned said...

Love,love, LOVE the hair! Always wanted those wild spirals...

Anyway, waitroned for 15 yrs. & went into RETAIL HELL to get away from it (yeah, poor job planning on my part, eh?) only to find all these people come shopping in my bookstore before/after dinner & bring the little monstors with. They tear up books & then mommy wants to know if she can get a "discount on this because it's torn". And yes, I have a child! I just didn't take him places he couldn't behave in-waited for an oppourtunity to go childless. Or DIDN'T GO! Sorry people SUCK IT UP!
When I am QUEEN OF THE WORLD, everyone will have to serve 2 years of public service after high school. 1st year is for waiting on people, preferably in a child-friendly restaurant. With a good mix of other ages too. 2nd year is for Retail, making sure a full calendar year is served in both of these so that the misery of the holidays, summer, et al is experienced. I think this plan would bring world peace & harmony. It would at least make people better tippers/customers.
Waitrons & customer service droids rule!

Shelley said...

Well done on Dr. Phil. I'm tired of the selfishness and ignorance of a small number of parents who believe a fine dining restaurant is appropriate for children. I would patronize a restaurant that banned children without hesitation.

Anonymous said...

LOVED you on dr. phil today. you are absolutely correct - parents should take their kids to restaurants with kid menus. not everyone finds your crotch fruit cute, parents!

Meissa2112 said...

Hey Bitchy!!! First of all, you are so stinkin' cute!

Second, I love being child-free. My husband and I just breeze through the restaurant doors straight to the bar section at peak hours when all the families with their endless supply of kids are waiting to be seated. We still catch some of the noise, but at least we don't have to deal with kids running around or jumping up and down on the booths or see the nasty concoctions they make out of their food. I don't hate kids, I think they are awesome and can fill your day with that much needed smile after going through that gray phase. I hate the fact that bratty kids don't know any better because their parents enable their bad behavior by pretending to be their friend.

As far as babies in airplanes (and forget that woman who told you to change careers, screw her), we have to understand that the little ones get cranky when they are constrained and their little ears ache with the change of altitude after take-off. When a small child is crying on a flight I know for sure that he/she is in pain. Parents need to be on top of their game, but many don't know that they can get a prescription for ear drops to prevent the aches (I know of this cause one of my best friends works at the airport and she has twins who've been flying since they were in the womb). I feel bad for the little ones that go through this, but, I wouldn't say no to the idea of certain flights being child-free, like red-eye flights maybe?

But anyhoo, private businesses have the right to refuse service to anyone and we can choose to use their services (or not).

Anonymous said...

Saw you on Dr. Phil. Totally agree with you! There are places for children and places that are not for children. I can't stand when parents think their children are God.

Anonymous said...

I just saw you on Dr. Phil and I fell in LOVE!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I am a mother of 3 (now teenagers). I agree with everything you said on the show. I think I have a loud child cloud hanging over me because no matter if I'm in a restaurant or on an airplane, I always get stuck right next to the loudest child in America. I just want to say to the parents "Get it together and tell your kid to shut the F**k up"...

Anonymous said...

I think the great WC Fields said it best:
1. Children should neither be seen nor heard from -- ever again.
2. I never met a kid I liked.
3. I like children. If they're properly cooked.
4. Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child -- if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

5. They are also very good with mustard.

6. Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Anonymous said...

OMG parents pay attention PLEASE!
There is a way for a civilized society to act in public - period.
Restaurants and all other places.
The complaints about the children are not BECAUSE of the children, they are directed at YOU LAZY parents.
Children's behaviors reflects parents' raising them.
I don't let children in my business nor do I allow HUSBANDS either.
They both just say "How much longer will this be?"
So they are not allowed.
EFF you all for your choices to create little monsters that you had no foresight to see past the infant stage.
I'm laughing at you!

Anonymous said...

You have beautiful curls.

Anonymous said...

yes i am a mom, but i do not have such an entitlement mentality, that i think everyone else is a processed meathead for not paying reverence to my childs inalienable rights. really!?! maybe some moms are a bit out of touch with reality.
I agree with you mr. food server, in that, why should you have to play social referee if patrons ask you to do their bidding to scold other patrons.
If a child was that annoying, I would leave the restaurant or ask to be moved. Period.
Parents should be considerate of their childrens' underdeveloped social skills, and stop thinking they have a right to subject others to it.
All it really boils down to is the age old "Common Courtesy!" duh!

modest Goddess said...

She looks like a processed chicken...

Corina 1.0 said...

Bitchy, you are as cute in real life as I had hoped. I only saw the clip (so far), but just letting you know, I still love your bitchy self!

Anonymous said...

Let me just say that I am a mother of a baby girl that is 3 months old and I yet completely agree with you. There is nothing wrong with restaurants banning children. That is their right. Sometimes adults want a nice ADULT evening out without their child(ren) and it is so annoying when you get a sitter and go out only to have a screaming, non behaving child(ren),with parents who ignore them, next to you... isn't that what I am paying someone at my house for? My mom never let myself, nor my 2 younger siblings behave that way. If we started to get fussy and acting up she took us outside until we calmed down... I'm not saying all restaurants should but it's nice to have that as an option and some parents just over react... AMEN to you BW and to you also Bitchy Bartender... about time someone says something!!

princess298 said...

I saw the show today and thought you were great. those two women were bitches who deserved to be put in their place. Someone should force feed that woman processed chicken. I didn't feel sorry for any of those people. control your kids. enough said.

tracy said...

If she doesn't think her steak is processed, she is just plain dumb...

Estrellita said...

Oh Anonymous! Get a babysitter or eat at Chuck E. Cheese. If you have a food allergy, that is your problem. Don't be so dramatic. If something you eat is going to kill you, you wouldn't trust anyone to prepare your meals. You are not fooling anyone with your would be victim shit. If you don't like the blog, don't read it. Bitchy Waiter doesn't hate his job. He hates sanctimonious asshats like you who make his job miserable.

SkippyMom said...

It's as one of the Anon's said earlier. We don't hate the children, we hate the lazy parents who won't control their children.

It is not the kids' fault. IT IS THE PARENTS. Take responsibility.

Lori said...

Dr.Phil is exactly why I am visiting your blog today. Based on how defensive she got I think it's safe to assume she frequents restaurants with an out of control child. Your kid can have steak lady, it's just they can't ruin my having steak.

Jasmine said...

I MISSED THE SHOW. :( :( :(

BeccaDee said...

@ Various people attacking the allergic Anon:

It's not really fair, as much as Anon phrased it in an agressive manner. I have allergies that could be fatal (granted, only if someone rubs a nut on my food...), and I work as a server in a pub, and my restaurant takes allergies very seriously. We ensure that everyone handling the food, the head chef, and the manager are all aware so that nobody gets sick/dies and everyone has a good night out.

That said, if you are allergic to citrus fruits, like lemons, and the server makes a mistake? Just calmly explain again and ask for a new drink . Goodness, some people just look for excuses to be unpleasant.

BW, you are amazing and you make my days better. Also, you have great hair!

Lea Anne said...

Oh bitchy, I have read you for years but just now leaving a comment. You had some wonderful points and as someone that has been in the industry for fifteen years and worked in every aspect of the industry, kudos to you for speaking out for a lot of us. I have two nephews that are wonderful in public places. If we at all feel they are getting unruley we leave. If one of them makes a mess, we clean it up. I wish you would have told the b#%*h that told you to quit your job that she should quit flying then. People just can't controll there kids nowdays.

Thank you for all your wonderful stories.

Lea Anne said...

Esterillta,

Love the word asshat. :) I end up using it almost daily lol

rdobs said...

I have been a bitchy waitress for oooh about eleven years. I think the brat ban is WONDERFUL! I dont have any children but I honestly do love them as long as I can return them. Parents who go in public resturants (especially the fine dining type)and think they have a right to let their kids be brats because "kids will be kids" should be banned. I havent reproduced because I dont want to be responsible for anyone but myself. If I feel like drinking I go to a bar or stay home. I dont think all kids should be banned but if you raise a brat I dont want to deal w you or your kid.... And as an after thought I dont want to hear you on your phone, I dont want to wait on you while you cry and I dont like sloppy drunks. Dont be an ass no matter WHAT age!

Missy said...

I just saw you on Dr.Phil and had to check out your blog. I totally agree with you!! I absolutely LOVE children, I do NOT love them ruining an expensive meal on what may be my only night out on what may be my only night off work that week. I am however the inattentive parents worst nightmare. I will never ask a waiter to voice my opinion & if parents don't want to shut their kid up or leave, then they should pay for the food I'm not enjoying because of them.

Anonymous said...

I support what you said 100%. I am the mother of an unruley child. When I take him out I take him to child friendly places. If he can't behave I don't take him again. I think I will bookmark your blog.

NotAnonymous said...

I fully agree with the "Brat Ban" if there is a screaming kid in your restraunt and the parent(s) won't control it. Kick the damn kid (with parents) out! Nobody wants to listen to frigging kid yell about how they wanted fries because you believe in "free range children" and "letting them make ther own decisions".

Bitchy Bartender said...

I missed the show, where can I go to see the whole episode online?

Wrial Huden said...

In addition to "parents" wanting to be their offspring's BFF, they've developed this sense of entitlement where if little Johnny or Janey is somehow not happy with their dining experience they expect discounts, comps, etc..

dori memphis said...

I saw this show and loved you. I am the mother of a 2 year old. Being a mother when I began realizing that she was at an age that she did not want to sit still or she wanted to throw food on the floor I quit taking her to restaurants that are geared to adults. I feel it is wrong for me to allow her to disturb other paying customers . I have even asked my waiter to make my order to go due to her behavior. From then on if I wanted a meal from a nice restaurant and did not have a babysitter I just placed a to go order and picked it up. Even though I am a parent if I get a night to have date night with my husband the last thing I want to hear is a screaming out of control child. Honestly it pisses me off that people allow their children to act like that. If I wanted to hear that I would save money on a sitter and just take my child to chuk e cheese. Parents know or SHOULD know if their child is capable to sit still and act right at not only restaurants but any place of business . If not don't take them.. but common sense isn't so common.

jeanmcqueen said...

Loved you on Dr. Phil of course, the chicken lady was completely nuts obviously and they could have had anyone in retail on also. I actually had a friend get fired because a kid was throwing hangers at her so she took his hand marched him over to his mom and asked her to watch her kid because he was being disruptive and throwing things around the store. So the mother couldn't have that and she screamed at my friend, our store manager and then called and screamed at corporate so of course my friend had to go. All because this woman was on her phone and couldn't be bothered to pay attention to her kid, at least the company didn't contest unemployment because they knew it was bullshit too.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say I agree with you 100%! I am an ex-waitress and there is nothing more annoying then children and their messes. I also am a mom of three, and I couldn't disagree with the processed food lady more, I'm sure she has terrible kids. You were saying to just take the kids to a restaurant that invites children. I would never take mine to somewhere they wouldn't enjoy just to have a good meal for myself. These parents are so selfish and didn't realize when they had children they do need to adjust their lifestyle. And the lady with the kid on the plane, doesn't understand the food service world, it's a love hate relationship! Good job on Dr. Phil, BW.

Anonymous said...

The trend that gets me these days is when parents will bring their kid to an ethnic restaurant and bring in food from McDonald's for the kid to eat! I wonder how many parents in this audience have actually done that. What's the point of bringing the kid there if it won't what the place serves? I've also seen this behavior at chain places like Chili's that actually serve burgers. I guess the kid will only eat McBurgers. When I was a kid, nobody would have even thought of doing that, now it seems to be more and more common.

Abby said...

Awww!!! You're adorable!!

mommyof7 said...

it's not only resturaunts, you can't go to some churches and get your religion on either, babies in the big church , you are praying and got a kidd screeming in your ear. take them to the nursery or outside and give them some ninny.lol praying they will shut up does no good if god can't hear you. and yes i'm with you on no bratts in resturants. i did not go out to eat to hear some brat screaming. that woman on tv needs a BIGGER STICK. keepup the good work.

Lissa said...

What ever happened to hiring a babysitter for the kids? My parents never took my sister and I out to dinner with them, and believe me, we were well-behaved. They simply didn't believe that children belonged in a fine restaurant. And they were right. (Also, we loved having a babysitter because we got to eat pizza, watch all the TV we wanted, horse around, and go to bed late!)

Ashley said...

That "monster mom" on Dr. Phil was a treat to watch. With that being said, I am so glad she is not MY mother. What a bitch!

I work retail so I understand your frustrations with kids and their lazy parents. I found this episode of Dr. Phil hilarious because these mothers had no idea they were actually THE PROBLEM!

I've seen parents shopping in my store while they ignore their kids and let them run around screaming, and also just recently had the pleasure of cleaning up puke after a mom had let her child cry erratically under a table after he had vomited all over.

Your blog is great. Keep it up!

Anonymous said...

I am a mother of 2 daughters and I am all for adult only restaurants. When my husband and I go to dinner without our kids the last thing I want is to be out with other kids. I want to enjoy an adult only evening. I love my kids and I will take them to restaurants that are family friendly. But if we're talking linen and china, they can stay home until they are an appropriate age. And for the record, I enjoy a little processed chicken every now and then myself. What would the world be without chicken "mcnuggets"?

just eggs and bacon said...

I do not think children should be banned from restaurants. I do believe that parents should have more control with their children, that meaning teach the little shits HOW to dine-do they let their kids act like that at the dinner table at home? My kid knew to order his fillet medium-rare, and to ask for an unmarried ketchup with his fries in kindergarten, but that is because we go out to eat regularly. More times than not the kids act just like their parents-entitled, with the attitude that it's "all about me". How to behave in public is a social skill that is missing from many kids.

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