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Friday, August 19, 2011

A Comment on Comments

Someone done crawled up in my asshole and pissed me off and now I get to write my favorite kind of posting of all, a comment on comments. In response to this post about the man who didn't sign his credit card and ended up stiffing me on a $75 check, a couple of anonymous windbags chimed in to fart out their thoughts on the situation:

Anonymous #1 said...
Wow you got you're panties in a bunch over that?? No wonder you don't get tipped as often as you should. Customers can see fake kindness like a dog smells fear. Maybe change your attitude and you'll increase your tax bracket.

Anonymous #2 said...

I agree with anonymous. This is the life of a server/waiter. If you don't like it, go to school and get a real job. I worked for $12/hr at a call center while going to school to get my masters degree. If you don't like your job or if one person gets to you this badly then it ruins the service to everyone else. Maybe check your tampon. Is it in sideways or something?

Okay, Anonymous #1, I do get my panties in a bunch when someone either intentionally or unintentionally forgets to sign their credit card slip and therefore leaves me no tip. I did not serve this guy $75 worth of food and drinks just because it gave my life purpose. I did it because I expected there to be a tip. That tip goes into my pocket and then it is used to pay for frivolous things like food, electricity bills and mortgage payments. And I don't know where you came up with the idea that I don't get tipped as often as I should. Do I work with you? Are you the IRS? Do you have a copy of my tip log? Yeah, I didn't think so. And when did I say I gave him fake kindness? Contrary to the name of this blog, I am very rarely flat out bitchy to my customers because all that does is put less money in my pocket. I guarantee almost every server you ever had was giving you "fake kindness" because that is the name of the game. That waitress you had in Disney World that time who you thought was so sweet and kind and was so good with your kids? Fake. She wanted a tip, dumb ass. I treated this guy just like everyone else and he is the one who expected different treatment by refusing to wait his turn and come directly to my sidestand in an attempt to pay his check before everyone else. And then he didn't sign his card or tip me. So yes, my Sexy Little Things® Lace-trim Cheeky Panty was all bunched up. And I am still not sure that dogs smell fear. Myth or reality? Let me know.

And Anonymous #2, how many times do I have to tell you this: waiting tables is a real job. If it wasn't, I wouldn't get a paycheck and have to file income taxes. I go someplace for a designated period of time, punch a time clock, do an activity that I was hired to do and then I am paid for it. Yep, sounds like a real job to me. And I did go to school, it just wasn't for waiting tables. I have a degree from a real honest to goodness college that I went to while working full-time. And I actually work with two people who have the all-important masters degree you speak of who choose to wait tables because the money is better. Congratulations on your masters degree and surviving on the $12 an hour job. Let me shit out a parade for you because that is truly inspirational. And I bet since you have your masters degree, nothing at your job ever gets you even the slightest bit irritated, because once you have a masters degree every thing comes to you on silver platters after sliding down a rainbow. When you show up for work does a confetti cannon announce your arrival? Is every second of your day filled with joy and satisfaction? Because that's what a masters degree does for people, right? And I do not have a tampon in sideways or any other way. Just because I wear a Sexy Little Things® Lace-trim Cheeky Panty does not mean I have a vagina. I wear panties because they make me feel pretty.

I wait tables for a variety of reasons. It's easy. The money is good. It allows me the flexibility to do other things in my life. I don't want a job that I am at for fifty hours a week and I can't take an extra day off when I want. If I get a call to work on a movie or I audition for something that is going to take me out of town for four weeks, I just get my shifts covered and do it. That is one of the benefits of waiting tables. It pays my bills so I can focus on the things in my life that make me happy. Twenty-four hours a week pays my bills and leaves me plenty of time to enjoy my life. When I die, my last thought won't be be "I should have spent more time at work." It will be one of two things: "Thank God I found time in my life to be happy" or "Do I have time for one more grapefruit martini?" I have a feeling that there are lots of people with maters degrees who spent 70 hours a week at work and when they died, they wished they had lived their life differently. And as always, if you don't like what I write, don't read it. You can always go here if you want something that is mindless and non-thought-provoking.


Love,
The Bitchy Waiter




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36 comments:

ChiTown Girl said...

I.HEART.YOU!

sugar-free-thoughts.com said...

Man I fucking love the "Comment on Comments" posts!!

Cheers!
SF

Anonymous said...

Wow I have raised three children as a server and I never knew I wasn't working a real job! I can't stand people who have no respect for the service industry and these same people usually cant cook or fend for themselves with their lovely master's degrees! I would dare any of these morons to strap on an apron and try it for themselves, my guess is the kindness, patience, and ability to handle costant ignorance will be too much for most! Martisha Cody (since I don't have Google account)

Joyce99 said...

I agree with you wholeheartedly!! It is people like your 2 anonymous posts that petition their Senators and Congressmen to make sure "serving" customers is a real job, and we have to pay taxes on cash or credit "tips". It put someones panties in a bunch years back that "serving" was getting a pass on paying taxes for cash tips. So they fixed that. Funny how the same type of person will jump on the "I'm doing a real job." bandwagon.

defiant said...

Hopefully, you will never have to serve either of those people. When the split check comes, they will be the first to say, "all I had was the water and cottage cheese."

Greg Becerra said...

Don't worry about Anonymous comments. Just remember that their parents didn't love them enough to give them a real name.

On another note, I'm a bit upset with you because I read your post about forgetting to sign the receipt and then stopped at a pub last night for some food and while walking out to the car I kept thinking to myself, "Did I sign the receipt?"

janandtheboys said...

All this talk about being a waitress makes me want to be one again. I loved it. I made plenty of money. Being a waitress I excercised as I worked, ate better, got to work around people I truly enjoyed being around, got to be social, etc etc. Of all the jobs I have ever had professional or nonproffesional being a waitress is my most favorite and fulfilling. I am now 50 yrs old and long for the days of working in the restaurant industry. Who cares about my degrees, my education, what makes a person happy is simply that.

Jennifer said...

Your restaurant needs a policy whereby if you take the receipt or you physically leave your credit card behind for an open bar tab, you automatically get a 20% gratuity added to it. I worked at a place that had that policy right at the top of the menu, and the bartenders would tell patrons the policy when they opened the tab.
Oh, and don't ever EVER "forget" your business American Express card at a strip club on Bourbon Street in New Orleans. You will get it back the next day with a 100% gratuity added to the bill which is now wrapped entirely around your card and secured by several giant industrial staples right through the magnetic strip. Try explaining to your boss why you need a new Amex and there is now a $2,000 charge on it from Rick's Cabaret. D'oh!

WJ said...

This is awesome. HOT POTATO!

Anonymous said...

I got to you. That's all that matters to me.

Mary A. said...

Ah. . MASTERS Degree.

We're still paying for my DH's lovely Masters Degree that enables him to work for less money than me, a scumbag with only a BA.

I am working on my OWN Masters Degree so I can be so much better than everyone else.

As far as I can tell? Not a lot of fucking difference so far.

Anonymous said...

Amen!! I work a desk job AND a serving job part time...some days I make more serving, and sometimes less, but I ALWAYS expect that in a sit-down restaurant environment where I am bringing drinks, food, extra ranch, extra napkins, extra crackers for your whiny-ass kid, I AM GOING TO RECIEVE A TIP FOR MY SERVICES. there is a difference between and server and a servant. I am not a servant, but I am a server. Tip accordingly people!!

California Girl said...

another good one to send my sons

Mustang Sally said...

I'm sure if anon A's paycheck were 3 hours short because the acct. "forgot" to put them on his paycheck, we'd find him bitching about it.

As for the other, 'real job' Really? This from someone who sits on there ass and talks on the phone all day? HAHAHAHAHA ... yeah right

Anonymous said...

I was raised by a waitress with a degree in business management. I have a degree and I came back to being a waitress after college because I make waaaayyy more money. Tell me how dealing with people like those 2 jokers on a daily basis ISN'T a real job?

Thanks for standing up for yourself, BW!

P.S. Those panties do rock (:

Derby Wallus said...

You tell 'em, bitchy! I loved it! "They make me feel pretty, okay?"
Just priceless. :)

Anonymous said...

LOL...even with a masters degree and a "real job," I was frustrated on a daily basis.

And, his reply that "I got to you." This sounds like he knows you. It is a personal vendetta, a passive aggressive act meant to inflame. Let's send him where he can get some action and give him and the people he attacks weapons and real reasons to dislike each other.

His life must be sad. He wants attention that his mother did not give him or, his father or life did not give him.

He is just needy.
He is jealous that he cannot write and get the attention you get.
He really wants you for his own boyfriend.
He wants your partner for his own.
He was fired from being a server.
He has no degree in anything.
He is writing a book,"MY LIFE AS A TROLL."
Negative attention is the only kind he can get.
He is a she.
He is a psycho.

Now, since I value my peaceful blog, I will sign off with anonymous. Criticisms from me toward a blog post are never anonymous.

PM Taylor said...

OMFG.

First, I am a thong girl, but have to say, those cheeky panties are THE BEST. Soooo cute, and really flattering.

But, back to you.

"Get a real job" ... WTF? I'm so glad you were able to compose a response to that (which was brilliant, btw), because all I would have been able to do would be hunt down that idiot with a pick axe ...

Best;
PMT
http://thisthattheotherone.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

I LOVE YOU BITCHY WAITER..

AMEN!

I have friends who went to school for 4+ years, have a full time 40-50hr a week job, have tons of school loans to pay off and make the same amount of money as me: a server. We have every right to get pissed off when we get stiffed or a bad tip because we work hard to bring the table their drinks, their steak and make sure they have their side of mayo they asked for.

readinrobin said...

So Anonymous, if all waiters went out and got "real" jobs, how would you be able to go out to dinner? Who would take your order and bring your food and put up with your holier than thou crap? Just because a job is beneath you doesn't mean it's not a real job.

Vicki said...

I like the Wiggles, BW--=). That's all I'm saying--LOL!

I thought the 2 Anonymous' were not nice people at all and I just kept thinking, why read the blog if you're going to be such a shit about it? There was one time you did something that I disagreed with, but even then, I think I said it respectfully that I thought it was wrong. Why do people think that they can say whatever mean and rotten stuff they want just because they are on a computer? It's like when someone is drunk and they have all bravado in the world...ridiculous! What total tools not to realize that you're just VENTING here. I say keep your "panties in a twist," guy! There are those of us out here who love what you do. =)

Margaret said...

My MFA and $2 gets me a soda out of a machine! :D

scotsyank said...

Bitchy, I love you lots. But I've been worrying about you lately. The posts are getting more angry, and less funny. You're a talented writer. Keep it good.
It must be tough to keep a blog. Maybe think more. X

Mea said...

Yes, yes, and yes.

Also, I think I own those panties...

Hayley said...

Zing! You tell 'em like it is, bitchy! :D

Majid Ali said...

Please for Christ sake help this poor boy from Haiti

carrie said...

seriously.. how is serving not a real job.. it's a fucking job and it exists.. so it is real.. and not getting tip on one bill makes a big ass difference.. it's my money for the night and i worked for it!!! these ppl just need to experience the service industry for once..goshhh.. im so tired of ppl looking down on others.. i have a degree and i chose not to work at an office because the money is better while i'm deciding what i want to do for the rest of my life.. and i don't mind serving as a job if not for all these assholes and people who tend to treat me like i'm inferior to them..

Robin said...

Margaret, Love your attitude.

Majid Ali, "For Christ sakes comming from someone named Majid Ali is just too funny.

TC, Robin

ktree said...

OMG, I love this blog, but if I still have Hot Potato stuck in my head in an hour I am going to be pissed.

Anonymous said...

Two things...MEDICAL and RETIREMENT FUNDS

Krissy said...

Hey, Bitchy

Check this out!

http://abeerfortheshower.mobify.me/2011/08/truth-behind-blogger-comments.html

You'll love it. I have these guys in my blog roll. They are just as great as you are. Only they use pictures to illustrate their point. Let me know what you think. K?

Ana said...

Medical and retirement funds? I bartended for a brewery for 5 years and I got medical...life..dental..401..

I also have two degrees and now work a shitty desk job wishing i were back behind a bar.

Love you, bitchy waiter!

Jobs Brisbane said...

I totally agree with you!
I enjoyed reading your post.
And I'd rather wait tables than earn thousands from doing something dangerous and illegal, if you know what i mean. :D
____________________

Jobs Brisbane

jMAN5 said...

My mom always said "The Only thing I got out of my Master's Degree was a few graduation presents"

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#beneath
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