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Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Happy Two Year Anniversary to Me

Today is the two year anniversary of The Bitchy Waiter. Yes, time flies when I am bitching. In the two years that I have been writing, I have managed to come up with 378 topics and what you are reading right now is number 379. At this moment, there are 3,460 fans on Facebook and 2,812 followers on blogspot. Incredible. I looked up the traditional anniversary gifts to see what I should be expecting for gifts and I was rather disappointed. The traditional gift to give for a second anniversary is something made of cotton. The modern gift is china. Both of these sucks. When I think of cotton, I think of fabric that makes me think of dinner napkins which makes me think of working in a restaurant. Fuck that gift. When I think of china of course it makes me think of clearing tables of plates. Fuck that gift too. Maybe I should consider this a birthday instead of anniversary. So I did a little research to see what the average two-year old should be up to and this is what I found. A two year old should be able to:
  • walk alone (like they do in my station).
  • pull toys behind him (like they do in my station).
  • climb onto and down from furniture unassisted (like they do in my fucking station).
  • dump things out of containers (like they do to my sugar caddies in my mother fucking goddamn station).
Forget it, I can't go on. I hate two-year olds. So for my anniversary/birthday there is something I want. I don't want you to all sing "Happy Birthday" to me as you present me with a partially frozen birthday cake that has a candle in it that someone found in the back of the drawer. I want more fans. If everyone who reads this could just convince one other person to "like" me on Facebook maybe I could reach 5,000 by the end of the year. Is that too much to ask? Or share this link with someone so I can get double the traffic today. Is that too hard to do? Or maybe you can click here and show me your love in another way.

Seriously, thank you for reading. It still baffles me that anyone reads this blog at all, but to know that so many people do read makes me happy almost everyday. I thank each and every one of you. You are all great. (Except Penelope. She is a dried up twat face who can eat my pud.)

The Bitchy Waiter

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Business Casual said...

Congratulations! Your blog has kept me entertained for the past 2 years! Your bitchy blog is the best break in my work day. Next year hopefully I'll be congratulating your 3rd anniversary from a Yacht... in Monaco... eating bon bons... not while sneaking 1/2 peanut butter sandwiches from my cubicle in LA.

Laura Leane said...

Happy Anniversary Bitchy!! For your 2 year gift, I give to you 2 Cotton Candy Cocktails (google it, it's real). See, not all traditional anniversary gifts have to come from "inside the box" ;) <3 Laura

Kara Hoag said...

Hey! Congrats!

visions unto myself

The Empress said...

Congratulations on your 2 year anniversary! Your blog keeps me entertained daily with consistently good writing and amusing stories. What I love most is your clever, snarky way of describing situations and people. Thanks for always bringing a smile to my day.

Kelly said...

Happy Anniversary! I adore your blog.
Yoor gift shall be one extra fan.

Bouncin' Barb said...

Congratulations on 2 years and an ever growing following. I've only been reading you recently and enjoy your posts thoroughly. Here's to 2 more great years and thousands more to join you.

Corina 1.0 said...

Happy Birth date of Your Anniversary! Bitchy, you make my day, I love your way with words. I can picture exactly what you are writing about. Thanks for the good times!

bruce said...

will do...


stupid stuff i see and hear
bruce johnson jadip

Wendy said...

Seriously, if i lived anywhere near you, i would take you out for a Martini
or a Marguerita
or a Cosmo (which, technically is still a Martini, but who cares)
or SOME sort of AWESOME Cocktail!
You have made me laugh SOOO many times in the 6 months or so that i've been reading you.

I'll see if i can get my daughters to read your stuff too...
Or SOMEbody, anyway.

Mrs. Hyde said...

Six months ago yesterday I started blogging. The next day I found you on Blogs of Note and the rest is history. You were the first blog I followed and you're still the first one I look for when I log on every day.
I'll log on to hubby's FB acct and like you so I will have done my part to spread bitchiness throughout the world.

carmar76 said...

happy birthiversary!!! : )

Levonne said...

Happy Anniversary Bitchy Waiter! You really have something special! (Books are made of cotton too. They would make a good gift.)

jnana said...

Happy Anniversary :)
You're amazing that you reached this far in only two years! Thank you for always entertaining us! You're a legend!

watergirl said...

Happy anniversary!

Maryam said...

Happy anniversary!!! :) I don't know why you feel baffled about the overwhelming popularity of this blog....I just LOVE it. Yes. And there are very few things that I love in this world, so there. Congrats, and here's to another year of bitching! :D

Mary A. said...

Happy Blogday!

I will send you a cotton covered maxi pad to make your day special. No?

I'll think of something else then.

dirtydisher said...

Congrats, Bitchy. You entertain us all and we lub you.

Gigi Lara said...

I'm just glad you are still bitching!
just wanted to let you know that I am passing the word to every waiter I encounter when we dine out.
my bf and & recently ate dinner at Salt Grass steak house in Houston, TX. My steak was misheard, and instead of medium well, i got medium rare. no big deal. they just re grilled that delicious t-bone. all was well.
along with my business card, i left him a little note inside the check holder. my note read " I thought you were fabulous. with the exception of a few minor mishaps, you provided excellent service. I now have a whole new appreciation for waiters from reading: "" . you will love it. as soon as you get home, read this blog. you won't be able to stop, i promise. Sincerely, Gigi." I hope I made a difference in his life by bringing him to you. maybe he will pass it on to all the other waiters, whether to make fun of me, or to share... i hope its to share.
don't stop doing what ya doing. you're amazing. a gift from God. all that jazz. - i will do this everywhere i go. the good word needs to be passed around to the community of waiters in Houston. some could learn a thing or 20 from you. <3 -Gigi

And So She Said... said...

its - btw

Karen said...

Congrats! A friend of mine, that is an organic chef, turned me on to you and the rest is history. I read every one of your blogs. Thanks for taking the time to entertain me!

yourfriendlyneighborhoodbarista said...

I added you to my blogroll,hopefully that will help you reach your goal! Happy Anniversary!- Your Friendly Neighborhood Barista ;)