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Sunday, December 5, 2010

Please Help the Needy (I Need Vodka)

The weather out side is frightful, but he fire is so delightful. And since you've no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. Just kidding. I freakin' hate the cold winter weather here in New York City. The weather sucks, there are too many tourists here, the trains are too crowded and the pressure to find the perfect gift for everyone you ever met in your whole life is far too much stress. Until now, that is! This season, I will be giving friends and family original works of art that I created myself and now you can too. That's right, just by clicking this link, all of your holiday shopping can be easier than adding automatic gratuity to that party of ten teenage girls who shared a plate of nachos with four Diet Cokes and six waters. Yes, this is an ad for my very own Bitchy Waiter necklaces. I have new designs now too. Gummi bear, shrimp and everyone's favorite food group corn dog. And if you don't want a blue gummi bear, then just tell me what color you want? Green? Yes! Yellow? Absolutely! Pink? Gay!

If you have a special request email me and maybe I can create exactly what you want. Just last week, I made a custom Sri Racha hot sauce necklace that came out looking really cool. Have an idea? Email me at sideofmustard@gmail.com.

Okay, I am done. But serioulsy, for every necklace that you buy, a portion of the proceeds goes directly into a fund to provide Citron Vodka for a very needy waiter. Won't you please help? Click here if you care.

11 comments:

earthquakesandrattlesnakes said...

Hello, bitchy waiter. Just found you via working tech mom. I worked as a waitress from the age of 16 to 40-ish, full-time, in Massachusetts, New Hampshire and California. So I'm with ya. I'll be back for more chortles. Go put your feet up.

dirtydisher said...

Bitchy, you are so clever. That stuff is adorable.

Kara Hoag said...

Wish I could help. I'm trying to work on making the money still to buy presents. Might take another look if I can come up with the funds.

visions unto myself

bruce said...

Bitchy-
nice plug for your stuff...if i were not so unemployed and broke id buy...

Gabriele Agustini said...

I think I bought twelve of these!! Seriously!
Gave most as gift -
but kept my two favorites for myself. :)
Love them all!!
I especially like them when they have your initials on them.
Makes them more personal.
Great job and they were a huge hit!!
Thank you!!

bluedragonflygirl said...

Love the blog! I've linked your page to my blog. If you have the time you can check it out! ;)
http://yourfriendlyneighborhoodbarista.wordpress.com/

dirtydisher said...

bluedragonflygirl, your profile isn't activated. I can't get your blog from that link. Not that you invited me, just thought I'd tell ya so you can turn it on. :)

Jacky Maille said...

I'm broke, but I'll give you an ad clicky! That's kind of like buying you a beer. Or maybe half of one...Cheers!

rachaeluv said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rachaeluv said...

@ dirtydisher: Thanks for the tip! It should be fixed now. :)
Your Friendly Neighborhood Barista

- bluedragonflygirl

Corey said...

haha what a clever idea ;)