The weather out side is frightful, but he fire is so delightful. And since you've no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. Just kidding. I freakin' hate the cold winter weather here in New York City. The weather sucks, there are too many tourists here, the trains are too crowded and the pressure to find the perfect gift for everyone you ever met in your whole life is far too much stress. Until now, that is! This season, I will be giving friends and family original works of art that I created myself and now you can too. That's right, just by clicking this link, all of your holiday shopping can be easier than adding automatic gratuity to that party of ten teenage girls who shared a plate of nachos with four Diet Cokes and six waters. Yes, this is an ad for my very own Bitchy Waiter necklaces. I have new designs now too. Gummi bear, shrimp and everyone's favorite food group corn dog. And if you don't want a blue gummi bear, then just tell me what color you want? Green? Yes! Yellow? Absolutely! Pink? Gay!
If you have a special request email me and maybe I can create exactly what you want. Just last week, I made a custom Sri Racha hot sauce necklace that came out looking really cool. Have an idea? Email me at email@example.com.
Okay, I am done. But serioulsy, for every necklace that you buy, a portion of the proceeds goes directly into a fund to provide Citron Vodka for a very needy waiter. Won't you please help? Click here if you care.