A Comment on Comments

Oh goody, a comment on comments! These are the posts where I can switch to automatic-pilot and let my brain flow freely to my two fingertips as I hunt and peck on the keyboard and say whatever I want. A wise old soul commented on Beware of Possible Robot Children. Of course their comment had nothing to do with what the post was about, but I would expect nothing less from a random Internet commenter who continues to regularly read my blog despite making it very clear they do not like it or me.

Tagtag writes:

your a credit to society sir, and an hiv peddling scrunt. I select you to be the new caboose of the human centipede. most of all, just hope your life really is as painful and sad as you make it seem. cut the shit. where do you go from here ? your not getting younger. cant wait tables forever. that acting career panning out? didnt think so. just saying. maybe spend a little less time writing and a little more time figuring out what a washed up old hag like your good self can do in his autumn years. just lookin out breh... scroodly noodles ;:))

Okay, first off, there is "your" and "you're." They mean two completely different things. If you plan to insult me, I would always recommend that the very first word of the insult be spelled correctly. Otherwise, it makes your comment seem pointless and it will make people think that you're not very bright. You made the mistake twice in your comment. Just saying. Also, punctuation and capitalization have a purpose. Learn it.

Next up, I applaud the use of the word scrunt. I have never heard of that word and I really really like it. I will use it as my own from now on so I will always thank you for that, tagtag. However, I am not peddling HIV. It's impossible to sell something that one does not have, so my sales permit for peddling HIV was denied. Not that I know anyone who is on the market for HIV anyway. That would be a very poor choice of something to peddle. I do not recommend it. On the bright side, I heard that your license for peddling the herp was recently approved so good luck with that! You will be great at it, I am sure. I know you can do it.

Thirdly, I get to be the new caboose of the human centipede? Thank you so much. Can you please connect me to the previous caboose of the human centipede so I can get some pointers? I certainly do not want to disappoint and I am sure they would be very helpful in explaining my new role in life. (You're the previous caboose, aren't you?)

Also, you hope my life is as painful and sad as I make it seem? Sorry to disappoint you, dear, but it's not. I'm actually a pretty happy person. I have it good. I only work about 25 hours a week and have a lot of free time. I travel, live, laugh and enjoy my days. Sorry, can't help you with that one.

In addition, thank you for your brilliant perspective on aging. I was under the mistaken impression that I was getting younger, but now I know that I am getting older. Revelation! Newsflash: we are all getting older. I'm good with aging. The older I get, the less I worry about what others think about me and the more I focus on making my life and the lives of the people around me happy. You're not around me, so I really don't give a shit about you. As for the acting career not panning out, well it's kind of my choice. If I only audition once every three or four months I can't really expect to work all the time, can I? I only audition for things I want to do. If I audition for a national tour that would take me away from home for nine months, I don't want to do it. I like my life the way it is. Trust me, I'm good with it. Maybe I will wait tables forever, who knows? But if I can have a job that pays my bills by only working 25 hours a week, I think that's pretty good. I know a lot of people who would love to chop off 15 hours of their work week. I don't want a job that I have to think about when I'm not there, so this actually works out pretty well for me. As for my autumn years approaching, you're wrong there too. I have not been approached by AARP yet so I am definitely still in my summer years; maybe even late spring. Don't you worry your pretty little head about this "washed up old hag."

Finally, why are you here? If you don't like this blog, there is an easy solution for that: don't come to it. You don't like me? Thankfully, you don't know me so again you have the capability to live your every day life without any input from me. Maybe you used to know me or I pissed you off once or something, I dunno. My recommendation to you is to delete this page from your bookmarks and go on living your life sans The Bitchy Waiter. It might make both of our lives better. And again, good luck peddling the herpes. I am sure you will do a superb job. Email me if you need help with your craigslist ad. I know writing is not your strong point.

scroodly noodles,
The Bitchy Waiter

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