Get some Bitchy Waiter in your email!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Marcia Brady ♥'s Davy Jones

Dear Diary,

Yesterday was the most horrible and awful day I could ever imagine. It was even worse than when I was at school and drew that picture of George Washington and then my friend Jenny wrote the caption "Mrs. Denton? Or a hippopotamus?" on it and I got blamed for it and then my first ever slumber party was nearly canceled! It was even worse than that time when Doug dumped me because "something suddenly came up" but I know it was because my nose was swollen from getting hit with a football. Yes, diary, it is worse than that. My one true love died yesterday. Davy Jones is gone.

I'll never forget the first time I saw Davy Jones in person. It was at the recording studio I sneaked into to ask him to sing at my junior high school prom. I was wearing my favorite knitted yellow poncho that Alice had made for me. You know the one? With the fringe on it? Oh, diary, it was so wonderful to stand there and watch him listen to his recording of "Girl." It was like he sang those words just for me:

Girl, look what you've done to me,
Me, and my whole world,
Girl, you brought the sun to me,
With your smile, you did it girl.

It was so neat. Or at least it was neat until that mean old manager of his yelled at me, "Who are you?" and practically pushed me out of the studio. I just wanted to speak to Davy Jones since I was the president of his Fillmore Junior High fan cub and he told me that if he was ever in town he'd be glad to help me out. I cried my eyes out after I left that studio because I thought I would never be able to show my face in school again since I had already promised everyone that he would sing at the prom. I quit crying though when I realized it was going to make my eyes all puffy and make me look like Jan does when she first wakes up in the morning. I'm pretty.

Well, since Davy Jones was an upstanding man, he heard my plea and showed up at my house later that day. He was wearing the dreamiest dark navy blue blazer with groovy stripes on it. I was wearing my favorite orange sweater that matched the pillows on my Mom's couch and luckily I had just put on a fresh coat of Pretty Pouty Lip Gloss. He gave me his record and then he agreed to sing at the prom on that Friday! And guess who he took as his date. Me!! Oh it was a wonderful night. We danced and he dedicated every song to me. I know I was the envy of every girl at the prom, but in reality that was the case even before I dated Davy Jones. I'm pretty.

Thank you Davy, for making the morning brighter
Davy, for making the night time nicer
Davy, for making a better world for me.

Thank you Davy, for making the winter warmer
Davy, for making the music softer,
Davy, for making a better world for me.

I will always miss you.


Click here to follow The Bitchy Waiter on Twitter.
Click here to find The Bitchy Waiter on Facebook.


Anonymous said...

i remember watching this episode, two braids swept back to encircle my locks just like marcia marcia marcia, tummy to the floor, eyes glued to the boobtube, spooning my face full of a bowl of sugar sprinkled with cherrio's and a clicker of milk, hypnotized... p.s. dear Bitchy Waiter, you are the absolute sour to my cream ~xo

witchybaiter said...

I'll never wash this cheek again.

California Girl said...

It really hits home when someone from my era dies, particularly of natural causes as opposed to a drug overdose or liver failure or destitution after being forgotten.

Mary A. said...

I miss Davy! I DO!

And If he had taken ME to prom, I would have given him the best BJ of his life. He could have had me any way he wanted. As many times as he wanted.

Love you Davy Jones!

ChiTown Girl said...

You are just too cute. I just watched that episode over the weekend. So sad...

Um...Mary? You're a whore. And I love you!

Rainy Jane said...

Thanks for posting. Davy and that episode are a huge part of my childhood.

R.I.P. Davy.