Birthdays, The Facts of Life, Great Tips and Shitty Ones

May 29th is one of the most special and reverent days of all 365 days of the year. It was on this day, a certain number of years ago before cell phones, iPads and the discovery of fire, that my mother pushed out 7 pounds and 11 ounces of bitch and ended up with a curly haired moppet destined for a life of average. Rumor has it, when the doctor slapped my ass after birth, I slapped him right back and then asked him how he'd like his burger cooked. He handed me to a nurse who wrapped me up in an apron and placed me in a bread warmer. She gave me a piece of paper that had my sidework on it and the rest is history.

I get a lot of photos from people who want to share little bits of their jobs with me. I got these two photos on the same day showing how vastly different tips can be from customer to customer. As fellow birthday girl Lisa "Blair Warner" Welchel says, "You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have: the facts of life."

Anyway, back to me. May 29th is a great day to be born.  Don't believe me? Just ask these other people who share my birthday:

• John Hinckley, Jr.-the guy who tried to kill Ronald Reagan
• Annette Benning- cool lady with an old husband
• LaToya Jackson- my dream prom date
• Bob Hope- legendary comedian (Pull out your Ouija board to ask him, because his ass is way dead)
• John F. Kennedy, Jr.- (Ask Bob Hope to ask JFK how he likes his birthday.)
• Melissa Etheridge- lesbian
• Melanie Brown- Spice Girl

As you go through your day today, please take a moment to send out good thoughts to me and my special lady, Lisa Welchel. If you want to give me something for my birthday,  you already have just by reading this. And if you want to give me something else, just share this blog post by clicking "Like."

Thank you for being so awesome.



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