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Wednesday, May 9, 2012

The Final Word on That Other Blogger

Over the years, I have had my haters. How can we ever forget the upheaval at The-Restaurant-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named? To this day, when I walk past that place I get a cold sweat and worry that Holly Hobbie is going to stick her bonneted head out the door and shoot a lemon at me from her lady parts. Yes, I was fired from there, but the beauty of anonymous writing is that when my book is published, the whole world will read about what a nut she was and only she will know it's about her. And then I had the run in with a waiter at a Mexican restaurant that I may or may not have gotten fired. I still believe he wasn't fired but even if he was, it wasn't because of the complaint they got about his experience with me. My complaint was just the box of straws that broke the waiter's back. And now I learn there is another blogger who hates me and I have decided this about it: I don't care.

There are other blogs out there doing their thing and writing about the same kinds of things we all write about. We are restaurant blogs. It kind of goes with the territory that we write about customers. If this was a banker blog, I would write about customers and if this was a retail blog I would write about customers. In my three and a half years of blogging, I have written a lot of negative stuff but I also have written positive things too. I try to balance out the bitchy with some funny and some sentimental every once in a while. I have also been known to write about great severs I have come across or a new blog that I think is good. What I have never done is put down someone else's blog. If I see a blog that I think is poorly written I don't see the need in bashing it. Maybe it comes from my years of writing theater reviews where I was taught when reviewing a small no-budget theater, if you can't find anything good to say, don't say anything at all. If a Broadway show has a $10 million dollar budget and the show sucks, sure, tell the world. But if it's a theater in a basement in Queens with a $100 budget, what good does it do to say the costumes look cheap? They are cheap. No need to tear something down that isn't even completely built yet.

The other blogger has said some negative things about me and my writing. (I agree. My writing can be poor, sometimes. Real poor.) The thing is though, I kind of liked the other blog. It was well-written and it's designed better than mine, that's for sure. (Seriously, I need an update. Anyone out there good at that?) As of late, it's gotten a little hairy on his Facebook page and blog with my readers defending me. I appreciate that, readers, I really do. But I understand what he is dong. He is pushing buttons to get a reaction that will in turn get him more traffic. I've been there and done that. (Hello, breast feeding post?) I was going to reach out to this blogger and try to smooth things out, but then I read his latest post. He sorta compliments me but then calls my blog "tired" and writes that all I do is complain about customers and how much smarter I am than them. I don't think that's all I do. The Bitchy Waiter blog has changed over the last couple of years and I try to give it much more sustenance. I try to write things that will make people think about their own lives. While it is true that the most popular posts are the ones where I bitch about how dumb some lady was, my favorite ones to write are the ones that are heartfelt and meaningful.

Had the road been different, I am certain I would have linked the other blog to this one because that is the only way to increase readership; sharing, cross-promoting and teamwork. However, I think I will pass. Not once did I say anything negative about the other blogger. Plenty of other people did, but not me. People accused him of things and it got personal. I was not involved in that. Believe it or not, I am taking the high road.

Consider the matter closed.

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Ashley Butterworth said...

I am soooo curious as to whom you're talking about!! BUT!! like you , I don't want to give them any extra readers for bashing you. Good for you! and we love your blog so keep it up :)

itswhatiam said...

The other blogger said I seemed intelligent and he appreciated that I wasn't resorting to insulting him when comparing the two of you. did insult him. I just did it with big words veiled in sweetness.

ByStarlightLily said...

Let the haters hate!

You're awesome.

Anonymous said...

bw - i checked out his blog, not only is he rage filled, insecure & bitter, but guilty of his very own accusations. you still rock

Solitary Angel said...

You're the only restaurant blog I read, and I don't think this blog is 'tired' at all. In fact, I teared up at the Linda Lavin post--it was very eloquently done; fond memories of that show are in my childhood too. Keep up the good work, friend.

jnana said...


Confessions from the Hairdresser said...

I feel that a lot of the initial outrage had less to do with his insulting you (and then blatantly lying about, saying that he was being sarcastic) than the fact that he did it needlessly, and in doing so brought attention to the fact that he was cheating in a contest in an attempt to steal a prize that you were clearly going to win (and did, after he was disqualified.

I do admire you for taking the high-road though, because as he went on to make chauvinistic remarks, issue threats of violence, and call the USMC "pussies" it revealed who the person is behind the writing, and it's better that you didn't accidentally get involved with him.

I have a feeling that wherever he goes, trouble follows.

Mary A. said...

I wish I used to read his blog so I could boycott it now.

And Karma totally exists.

Myr said...

As a fellow restaurant blogger, I 100% endorse your blog. I follow you. I love what you have to say, and would never try to fill your shoes. I find my blog therapeutic, and it warms my heart to share the pain with my fellow servers. If you haven't worked in the industry, you don't truly know our trials and tribulations. It's nice to find a sympathetic ear @ the end of my shift.

Sounds like someone has been drinking their Haterade. They're probably jealous of your kick-assness. Imitiation is the highest form of flattery. And like my beloved Grammaw said "Myr, if they're talking about you, they're leaving someone else alone."

Bitch on, BW! I for one, love it.

jaxsonvillejags said...

Whoever this is, he must not be too talented if the only way he can get press is by being a dick, not by writing a great blog. I've recently discovered your blog and I'm in love. As a writer by trade, I think your writing and style is pretty, pretty, pretty good (said like Larry David).

mel said...

Have to say been following you for awhile love every post either negative or positive love them all.... your a great writer and put everything in perspective we all have good and bad days its nice to go to your blog / Facebook page have good laugh or genuine feel good moment ...thank you keep it up...... can't wait for your book :)

Anonymous said...

I have been following you for the last couple of years, a friend found your blog and recommended it to me because your hilarious rants sound similar to mine lol..

anyway, I've never waited, but I did a five year stint in fast food (not the same, but we can all agree VERY shitty..) but i have always been able to relate to your posts! especially the ones about your love for older tv shows and musicals and such, and more than that, the bitchy ones. You are REAL! I've never commented (that I can recall..) but I always want to! Anyway, I personally think someone has to go out of their way to be a total dick about your writing. The stuff on this blog is so hilarious in most of the posts, I cannot count how many times you have actually made me laugh out loud. This might as well have been a blog post directed to you because I tend to write books instead of comments..

I used to go months without keeping up, just so that I could spend a good hour and a half just reading the stuff you post.

I know you're not gonna let some shitfucker get ya down =]

btw, I have always thought your background and such were perfect. You don't have random ass ads and pictures flying everywhere, and really the good stuff is your writing, that's what keeps us coming back.

So I've just been wanting to say some stuff for a while but I've never been good at speaking up, please don't think that I'm a weirdo lol

Anonymous said...

Good for you. The high road is difficult to take, especially if one does not have great leg strength and is afraid of heights.

I think you are a wonderful writer. I am always entertained by your posts. Screw what he thinks.

Anonymous said...

I've followed a lot of waiter blogs, the only one that I'd say is possibly better than yours is:
My main reason for that is that I'm Irish too and this is by far the most consistently funny and professional Irish waiter blog.

Are you writing a book? If so can you make sure that it's available via'll send it to my brother for christmas. He has 3 kids who consider condiments to be toys, you'd hate him. He'll enjoy your book.

Anonymous said...

We love all our blog readers, but we find that haters are the most loyal. Loves it.

Myr said...

Hey, BW, good luck tomorrow if you are working the dreaded Mother's Day. Can't wait to read about it, if you do! :-)

csabolek said...

Bitchy, I have been reading your blog faithfully since I discovered it. I can't speak for anyone else's experience, but it has become a part of my life. You make me laugh (The baby shower post was the funniest thing I've read in a long time) and cry (your 9/11 post I read with tears dripping on my keyboard). When your book comes out, I will pre-order it on Amazon, and I will buy a copy for the other servers in my life. I just hope that your book tour brings you to San Diego, and that you will do me the honor of letting me buy you a drink. Thanks for lighting up my life!