The restaurant I work in has a very small menu. All of our sauces and dressings are house made so when people ask for 1000 Island or some other familiar dressing from the grocery store, they are out of luck. Since it isn't in Texas or nestled in a hidden valley anywhere, I have never had anyone ask for Ranch. Until last week.
customer: I'd like fried calamari, what does that come with?
me: It comes with our house made spicy marinara sauce.
customer: Okay, but I'd like Ranch dressing instead.
me: I'm sorry, we don't have Ranch dressing.
me: We don't have Ranch dressing, will the marinara be alright?
customer: Why don't you have Ranch?
me: Um, we just don't have it.
customer: But how you can not have Ranch?
me: We just don't have it. Would you like to order the calamari anyway?
customer: Where's the nearest deli?
me: There is a little grocery store right across the street that probably sells-
customer: Oh! Well?
long pausecustomer: Well, I guess I could go buy it.
me: Yes, you could go buy it. Would you like to order the calamari?
customer: Yes, I'll have the calamari.
In a flash, the lady had her coat on and was racing across the street to satisfy her need for Ranch dressing. Five minutes later, she was happily ensconced in her booth with a bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch proudly sitting on the table. I placed the calamari in front of her and she wrapped her fingers around the neck of the bottle of dressing and poured it onto the plate. "Is there anything else you need?" I asked.
She looked up at me with a grin on her face and a bit of Ranch dressing on her chin and said, 'I have everything I need right here." She poured a little more dressing onto her plate and swirled a forkful of calamari through it. "But you should tell your boss to order some Ranch dressing. It's delicious!"
"Yes ma'am, I'll do that. Enjoy your calamari."
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