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Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Excuses For Not Leaving a Tip

I wasn't going to blog about this but I simply could not resist. There is a picture floating around on the Internet of what was left for a waiter instead of a tip on Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday. The person justified that since his ancestors worked for free, then so could that waiter. But they also added "God Bless" just to make sure everyone knows they're a Christian. Whenever someone chooses to not a leave a tip, they think they have a good reason. Deep down in their soul, they know it's because they are cheap ass mother fuckin' bitches who want to hold on to that last nickel until the day they die but they will come up with something to justify their no-tip behavior. Here are some of the excuses people tell themselves to make them feel better about stiffing their waiter:






  • My waiter didn't say thank you enough.
  • My french fries were cold.
  • The restrooms were dirty.
  • I didn't like the table I was sitting at.
  • The Denver Broncos lost.
  • I asked for two lemon wedges and he brought me three.
  • They were out of the dessert that I wanted even though I am not sure this is even the restaurant that ever had the Death By Chocolate Triple Fudge Fried Sundae.
  • My rent is due this week.
  • Nobody tips me for doing my job so why should I tip a waiter for doing his?
  • I left him Fake Jesus Money and eternal salvation is way better than the 25% tip I would have left instead.
  • I saw that asshole waiter on the Dr. Phil show. Fuck that noise.
  • I didn't have change for my hundred dollar bill.
  • I am going to come back after I run to to the ATM.
  • It took forever to get my food and I was in a hurry which is why I ordered a well-done steak and went with ten other people and we each asked for a separate check.
  • I did leave a tip. It wasn't there? Someone must have stolen it then because I left a twenty dollar bill on the table.
  • I told the waiter how great he was, that ought to be enough.
  • His uniform was dirty.
  • I don't believe in tipping money. Tipping is for cows.
  • I am from Europe.
  • I think that 40 years ago my ancestors were slaves who were owned by the ancestors of the waiter so I am not going to tip him even though in 1972 I don't think anyone owned slaves in the United States but since it's Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday, I will go ahead and use that argument because it's worth a shot and maybe the waiter will think I am all historically accurate and shit since the waiter is probably too stupid to know any better because if he was smart he would have a "real job."

To the person who left that stupid note: that is not the kind of dream that Martin Luther King Jr. was talking about.


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42 comments:

*Tanyetta* said...

HAHHAHAA!!!! Oh WOW!! That's messed up.

***I saw that asshole waiter on the Dr. Phil show. Fuck that noise.***

Dana White said...

Thank you Bitchy Waiter. You make me feel like someone understands. :)

www.DiatribesAndOvations.com said...

Stupid cheap assholes come in all colors. You rock!

Misty said...

People make up all kinds of excuses to be just plain cheap. I love the Denver Broncos lost one, made me giggle.

KB said...

Except for the ancestors and Dr. Phil excuses I think that I have heard, or worked with people who have heard, all of those excuses, too. Lame. If customers only knew how mundane they can be...

jnana said...

LOL how ridiculous....

The only time I think it's alright to not leave a tip is when the server has been blatantly impolite to you. Happened to me once and I didn't leave a tip.

S'A said...

When I was waitressing (a thousand years ago) I caught a kid going around our coffee counter picking up the tips. Another reason not to like kids in restaurants! (and where were his parents?)

J.Day said...

Oh. My. God. That's the stupidest thing. lol

I have only ever once not left a tip. Because the waitress promptly forgot our table - after taking our order, we never saw her again. We had to bother everyone else in the place to get anything.

Oddly enough, that restaurant went out of business a few months later.

Mary A. said...

I am not going to judge that customer on the color of his skin. I am going to judge him on the content of his character.

He's an asshole.

Some Sort of Fairy said...

That's idiotic, not just for the obvious (and already mentioned) reasons, but because this person has no clue about the server's lineage. I'll give the customer the benefit of the doubt and assume (s)he knows for sure that his/her ancestors were slaves, but I can guarantee that the customer does not know if the (presumably white) server's ancestors owned slaves.

A majority of whites did not own slaves - either because they objected to slavery, or because they simply could not afford it. That's what irritates me about the "your ancestors owned mine, so you owe me something" argument: none of my ancestors owned slaves, and in fact some fought in the Union Army in the Civil War. Don't presume to know anything about my family's history.

The argument is that much more appalling when used as an excuse for cheapness and entitlement. Yech.

Anonymous said...

I think this may be fake...anyone else a little confused that this man who is that old would be writing like a 13-year-old girl?

Anonymous said...

Tipping your waiter/waitress are not a common thing here in Australia. A couple of bucks is normally what we leave. Someone once told me that in America waiters/waitresses are well underpaid which is why you have a certain percentage of the overall bill as a tip. Can someone enlighten me and other Aussies so if we do by chance visit, we don't do the wrong thing and not leave a tip!

Alan said...

God bless? The attitude is not very Christ-like!

I have one that may be similar to one of the ones already mentioned:

"I'm a little short on cash today. I'll have to catch you next time!"

Rrriiiiight!

Crystal said...

What really gets to me is when someone tries to say that I dont understand, because my ancestors were the slave owners, and that they were the ones who were repressed and used and degraded... first of all, idiots, YOU were not a slave. Sure, your ancestors MIGHT have been, if you bothered to do your geneology, but just because you are black does not mean you were ever slaves, and it does not entitle you to have anything handed to you in life. Second of all, IM ITALIAN. My ancestors were still in Italy while yours were enslaved. So shut your mouth about things you dont know.

Push The Fish said...

So the customer, whom I assume believes that slavery is wrong, wants to "bring it back" for a day?! Not only that, but wants to bring it back on the very day that commemorates and honors the birthday of a man who was for the advancement of civil rights for all! Sheesh.

JimL said...

For our Aussie friends: It depends. In some states servers earn minimum wage and in others their hourly wage is something like $2.13. Thus, a 20% tip is somewhat expected, so that the server can make enough money to live. I assume that servers down under are paid a much better wage.

Maria said...

Many years ago, I not only didn't get a tip from a pair of customers, they complained to the manager because during busy times we had a cashier out front (not a classy establishment). The customers said if they paid up front, they'd leave my tip there. I said, very politely, "Thanks, that would be fine." It was a common thing for people to do and the cashier would hold it for the waitstaff. Apparently I was too young and naive to understand that they meant "take our check and wait in line for the cashier while other people's food gets cold, bitch (even though it's against policy), or we won't tip you." So my response was taken as sarcasm (which it honestly was not) and they complained to the manager. I was reprimanded and told never to use the word "fine."

Wow, this blog is so healing... :)

Confessions from the Hairdresser said...

So that means... ...in that asshole's eyes everyone is even now? How shameful to attempt to settle the perceived "debt" for a few dollars, when putting a price on such a debt (if it were real) is impossible.

I wish I had the ability to look at a waiter and know that they're white and that they had ancestors that enslaved people.

Emg3891 said...

I would have left a tip but the waitress wouldn't accept my expired coupon so there goes her 10$

nicco624 said...

Thank you BW for postin this even if you werent sure. Its funny how people can come together for an injustice for sake of a "holiday" but yet noone contiues the day after?! Why?! Id personally love to know who got this note bc Id love to hear how they handled it. Hopefully better than most of the people who commented today.

Anonymous said...

I had a table complain and not tip me because I didn't bring a bowl of salad over when I greeted them. I'm not too sure where they thought they were.

Anonymous said...

i like how they put God Bless at the end so that they think it clears then from their sin of stupidness.......keep up the stereotype........what an idiot

Anonymous said...

Yeah, my ancestors were slaves too, except they were called "serfs" and it was a lot longer ago than 1865. I don't use that as an excuse to be cheap.

You Want Some Manners With That? said...

I once had a guy leave me an all-day bus ticket and scrawled on the back "This doesn't expire till midnight. Hope you can make use of it."
I shit you not. People just suuuuuuuuck.

Classy in KC said...

I absolutely LOVE your blog!! I tagged you in my last post. http://classyinkc.blogspot.com/2012/01/tag-youre-it.html

Melissa said...

I tip what I think is pretty damn good! I can't imagine being a waiter/waitress! I go by how nice you are and how well you keep my glass full! Let me know if I'm wrong about that! Not being mean, just want to know! :-)

Chunky Mama said...

Mary A. said it better than I possibly could.

What a douche.

E.Rigby said...

How about the "tipping is optional" line?

Practical Parsimony said...

My frined's excuse: I did not have enough money after I had two entrees,salad, and two desserts. I swear, this is what she said!

laurao said...

I once was not tipped because the lady's card was being declined.. Most people know that they preapprove for a 20% tip to be left, Ti make sure it's there. so she accused me of trying to steal her money and even after my manager explained to her how the transaction worked she said I was obviously trying to steal her money and so she didn't tip me. It was obvious to me if her card was being declined for an extra 3 bucks on her 15 dollar tab she wasn't intending to tip in the first place.

Anonymous said...

True story: the waitress was at the restaurant bar after her shift, looking exceptionally bummed. A black couple asked the bartender why she looked so sad. When he told them, the woman exclaimed, "Oh, HELL no. That's not right." They paid her tab, THANKED HER for her hard work and wished her a happy holiday. :)

Anonymous said...

Thanks JimL for explaining the tipping system in America. I can't believe the government lets businesses get away with that! In Australia, while the pay is not great, it's at least $20/hr if not more. Therefore the tipping system is not as big. Seriously this gives a whole new meaning to minimum wage, certainly not good enough for our waiters and waitresses!

Ediebear89 said...

Thank you so much for sharing the picture I took. This happened to my co worker hannah at Tgi Fridays in south Carolina. Can you guys believe it?! MLK Would be Rollin in his grave. He stood for equality. Not for one race to think that they were "owed" by another. I'm so happy my picture has gone viral!

Anonymous said...

HAHA My friend is the one that had that happen to her. It is her picture. XD

Maria said...

I read this two nights ago, then went to work and my first table left me a dollar on a $32 check.
She said, "I'd give you more, but I have to go to the grocery store."


Weird. Me too. Maybe we can go together and split this dollar. See how far it'll get us.

Anonymous said...

40 years ago there were no damn slaves. Also MAJORY of whites didn't own slaves. There were BLACK SLAVEs OWNERS along with WHITE SLAVES. Yep you read right there were white slaves even in the U.S.

Also most whites either work in fields or they work in dangers unsafe factory with little pay and hour.

Oh yea whites did paid with their life to free your ancestors from slavery so your not own anything.

Anonymous said...

sometimes people are mixed but look white. also, waiters make like $2.30 an hour so they rely on the tips. if you dont want to tip anyone, stay home and make your own food.

KimSue. said...

I LOVE this!! LOL I wish I had known about your blog and all of the others during the 10 years I was a server at Red Lobster and then Applebees... my best tip was, "Tip: Don't eat yellow snow." Which they left on a napkin for me! OR, the time teens spelled out THANK YOU w/ emptied sugar packets on my table......gotta love it! haha

Anonymous said...

Thank you for correcting the idiot about the whole slave thing with their math which is prob the reason they could not afford a tip! Also my ancestors got from Ireland got off the boat and had to go free them from the idiot rednecks who brought them over here so unless their still gettn their ass whipped shut the Fuck up and leave a tip nobody.cares its been over to long soo get your shit together!!!!

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