Get some Bitchy Waiter in your email!

Friday, July 20, 2012

Chick-fil-A Can Choke My Chicken

This most excellent guest post comes from Terry Everton over at Working Stiff Review. I am still on vacation and thankfully Terry has stepped up to the bitchy plate and hit it out of the park. In the past, I too have written about Chick-fil-A. but Terry's piece comes at just the right time. I ate at Chick-fil-A no less than three days ago. The shame I feel is real and deep. Terry has shown me the error of my ways. I will never eat there again.


Fags are the new Niggers.

Just ask Chick-fil-A.

Like any good fundamentalist organization, the fast food restaurant chain which has openly espoused what it calls conservative Christian values is now cloaking itself in the Bible to take a very public stance against a segment of its customer base. And guess what? They, and apparently Jesus, hate gay people and aren’t afraid to let you know it.
In a not-so-veiled stance to serve up hatred disguised as Christian values along with their chicken sandwiches, Chick-fil-A’s president has taken a stance against gay marriage. Chick-fil-A is “very much supportive of the family,” Dan Cathy, president of the popular fast-food chain, said in an interview with Baptist Press. That is, “the biblical definition of the family unit,” he said.
According to the Christian Post, Cathy went further during an interview on "The Ken Coleman Show," saying, "I think we are inviting God's judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at him and say, 'We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage.'" Cathy was also quoted as saying during the interview, "I pray God's mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about.”
Hey Ken…Why don’t you take your Bible and go fuck yourself with it, you ridiculous homophobic hate monger. And you can choke on my chicken while you’re at it.
And exactly why do you give a shit in the first place who marries whom and why should it have any context in a fucking minimum wage fast food business environment to begin with? Up to this point you apparently haven’t had any issue accepting money from the gay community when they spend it on your nutritiously-suspect food. It appears you long for a return to the 1950’s when right-wing hatred was in full bloom against the African-American community where anyone who wasn’t a white racist got the privilege of pissing in segregated toilets and riding in luxury accommodations on the back of public buses.
So let’s go all in, asshole. Grow some stones and throw all your Judeo-prurient cards on the table, Kenny boy. It’s time for you to set up “Queers Only” ordering lines in all of your restaurants. You should also implement “Fags Only” segregated dining sections where the good ol’ normal folk won’t have to commingle with the gay community while they stuff their pieholes with your grease. And don’t forget about letting your offspring get in on your vitriolic fun! You should immediately set up “Butt Ranger Lynch Trees” on the front lawns of all your stores where anyone from the LGBT community who gets out of line in one of your units will proudly hang by their necks as a symbol of what happens to anyone who dares cross your moral line in the quicksand.
The ultimate irony, Kenny, is that you’ve turned out to be the biggest cocksucker of ‘em all.
Look, I could give a shit whether you open on Sundays or not. Keep your fucking Sabbath holy if it floats your ark, or whatever the hell that means in this modern day and age. You want to judge the rest of us who have to labor seven days a week, that’s okay with me. But the second you begin offering up sides of ignorance for me to dip my chicken nuggets in, you’ve gone from entrepreneur to full-blown (pardon the pun) prick.
Company spokesman Dan Perry had this to say in response to the public outcry over Cathy’s statements: "Chick-fil-A is a family-owned and family-led company serving the communities in which it operates. From the day Truett Cathy started the company, he began applying biblically-based principles to managing his business. For example, we believe that closing on Sundays, operating debt-free and devoting a percentage of our profits back to our communities are what make us a stronger company and Chick-fil-A family." Right, asshole. These community donations include over $2 million alone in 2010 to antigay groups including the Family Research Council and the Marriage and Family Foundation. Congratulations…Your restaurant chain is officially the sort of hate organization the Klan wishes it still had the clout to be.
I’d say that I would boycott these grease pits, but I respect the temple that is my body too much to ingest their swill in the first place. I’d further suggest you go fuck yourself, Kenny darling, but I suspect your underused Viagra-kickstarted cock couldn’t reach your asshole even if you stretched it with a medieval penis rack. Instead, how about you make a concerted effort to keep your foot out of your goddamned mouth and like any other decent corporation refrain from serving up a side of Christ with your waffle fries. Do what you do best, and go back to making yourself rich by paying the people who work for you poverty level wages. Just like your Jesus would want, you lame excuse for an oxygen sucker.. - Terry Everton

Download The Bitchy Waiter App for Android here.

Click here to follow The Bitchy Waiter on Twitter.
Click here to find The Bitchy Waiter on Facebook.


~*~MizTink~*~ said...

Wow. I couldn't have possibly said that any better! This is truly my favorite post of the month.

Lolamouse said...

My daughter and I stopped eating there as soon as we first heard about their anti-gay stance and the contributions to anti-gay orgs. Although Cathy has a right to believe any ignorant thing he wants, when he runs his company with these values, I have the right to not support it. Now will someone PLEASE figure out how to make some gay friendly waffle fries--I do miss them so!!!

Kalei's Best Friend said...

I've never eaten there. Then again, i don't think much of fast food places... They're only good for killing off the population w/their crap cooking methods.

dirtydisher said...

They should know better than to alienate people. Bad PR is just stupidity as well as their crotchety beliefs.

Sarah Michelle said...

I've only eaten there once, and it was meh at best..

Now that I know they're bashing the LGBT community, they can choke on their greasy chicken and grease-stained Bibles.

Luke said...

I think this may be the most ridiculous article I have ever read and one of the worst forms of journalism I have ever seen. Who cares if someone takes a stance against gay marriage? He stuck to his belief. According to your article, he never made any direct, negative comment about homosexuals, he simply stated what he felt was right and what was wrong. If anyone is in the wrong here, it's you. You're so gung-ho on your views of "gay bashing" that you immediately jump down the throats of those who are against the marriage of gay people. Furthermore, you even have the audacity to ridicule a religion you seem to know nothing about, as evident of your extremely ignorant comment. So hats off to you, for being even more ignorant and foolish than the man you write about. Next time you want to write such a garbage piece of "journalism," why don't you actually gather some credible information, especially on Christianity and stop posting about your biased and ridiculous self opinions. If you have a problem with this comment, perhaps you can write an article about me, I would love to read what trash you have left.

Sam said...

Dumbass, it's not journalism, it's a blog. As in opinions. She's not writing this to be impartial.

The Bitchy Waiter said...

Again, I did not write it.

Eat Mor Chikin said...

Fags are the new Niggers? WOW. Now who's bigoted??? You sound very angry, and there's nothing classy about your "blog". You did nothing but prove that you are just as narrow-minded and ignorant as you think he is. If you don't eat there, why is your "opinion" important?? This man is entitled to his opinion as are you. Most gay/lesbian people I know would respond with some dignity...better yet, they would stop spending money at Chick-fil-A. Why don't you take your anger and use it constructively? Get your gay/lesbian pals to donate $2 million to an organization that supports your lifestyle.

Practical Parsimony said...

Are you trying to distance yourself?

You have a way with words, so why didn't you just let Cathy know how you feel. Quit beating about the bush. jk Good job.

I love CFA. But, I have not eaten there for a year or so because of their stance on gays.

Then, they gave away an entree to anyone who dressed like a cow. I did and ate the sandwich.

The problem is that when we straight people with a conscience and all gays say they will boycott CFA, the Christians just double up on purchases. We mever hurt CFA profits. We increase the profits and strengthen their position. However, I am all for the boycotting of CFA. I try, but some days I am weak. Okay, once a year I am weak.

euphoric_mania said...

Remember guys, BW didn't write this one. So make sure you save your criticism for the actual writer. As a gay man, I choose not to eat at Chic-Fil-A because of the beliefs of their founder. I do however, have to draw a line at comparing this to civil right movements of the past. Sure, we are struggling, but I don't think it is quite fair to compare it to the struggle of the african-american community of the past. Maybe I am lucky, but I live in Texas and have NEVER been threatened based on my sexuality. Mildly discriminated against a couple times? Yeah. But not threatened with bodily harm.

Frank Giannantonio said...

This company deserves all the crap this writer is throwing at it, and then some. I agree 100% that this is blatant discrimination disguised as "Christian" values.

("Christian" values, hah! Talk about arrogant.)

This has nothing to do with beliefs in bible teachings, and has everything to do with money. The religious sector has to protect the idea of the "traditional" family.

It's in their best interest to keep us breeding. Any kind of thinking that goes against the bullshit that these fuckin churches have spent centuries forcing down our throats is a huge threat.

Fuckin spare me. This elitist prick cares about my family? Your family? A fetus? Bullshit.

Modern chicken farming is a travesty of epic proportions. Positively cruel, and nothing more, but this guy cares about the bible.

Fuck him, his restaurant, and his wackadoo church.

teverton said...

@Eat Mor Chikin: It's satire to make a point, fucktard. And yes, he is entitled to his opinion, but anyone with a semblance of a conscience is obligated to intolerate intolerance. And by the way, my lifestyle is moot.

@euphoric_mania: Perhaps, but let's not forget the lesson of Loving v. Virginia when white racists were threatened by interracial marriage. Same scenario, different group, same bunch of hate mongers justifying their bigotry with religion.

@Luke: This ain't CNN, Captain Tardo. And yes, I proudly and readily jump down the throats (so to speak) of any group who attempts to impose their version of morality on another. As any good citizen should.

RogueWino said...

"I pray God's mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about.”
Wow. Just Wow. What about the audacity of a fast food restaurant to talk about morality? Considering the toll that fast food restaurants have taken on our health and environment, and that chicken farming is an abomination against nature- I've been inside a chicken barn, it's fucking disgusting. Apparently doing what god thinks is "right" is more important then being happy, healthy, and not cruel to animals.
Fat, miserable hypocrites, the lot.
Chic-fil-a locations:
CA: 52
New York: 1
Texas: 263

Adsights said...

I've always looked beyond Chik-fil-A's mega religious stance, but this is just taking it too far. Since when do restaurants go around telling people what they should do with their own lives? Aren't they there to serve the people that give them patronage year after year?

Unknown said...

"... the arrogant audacity to define what marriage is about..." Kinda cuts both ways doesn't it? You could also substitute the word "god" for the word "marriage". Don't forget that there are about 7 billion other people on the planet who think your bible is bullshit. If you stop serving up garbage as food and quit confusing fairy tales with reality, we might actually get somewhere.

Sarah said...

I understand boycotting CFA if that's what you want to do because of their stance on things, that is your choice. But the writer of this blog (I know it's not you dearest BW) just sounds totally out of control and full of hate and that's sad that this person cannot get their point across without sounding totally angry. BTW I support gay rights, have a gay brother-in-law that I love and I am a Christian as don't just assume that ALL Christian people are gay hating conservatives because I assure you we are not.

dirtydisher said...

Unknown, I think I love you.

Anonymous said...

Phew, that was a beautiful peace. Anger is a great motivator. Now, if you don't mind, I am going to share this with a few people.

Confessions from the Hairdresser said...

YAAAAAAAAAY TERRY!! I've LOVED Terry since I first saw him at the Retail Hell underground forum!

I'm loving all of the guest bloggers, they've all been top-of-the-line.

teverton said...

@NellieVaughn and @Hairdresser: That's it, I'm adding both of your amazing blogs to my blogroll. Chicks like you rule.

Anonymous said...

Could I please speak as a Christian myself? Yes, I know there are many passages in the Bible pertaining to gay marriage. Yes, I know that every time somebody comes out against gay marriage that the first group to be bashed are Christians. But, for the record, not every Christian believes that gay marriage is wrong; and I am one of those people.

The thing is, the King James Bible is an interpretation; supposedly an accurate interpretation, but an interpretation nonetheless. It was written by translators who had their own agenda, and gay marriage was just as foreign and hideous to them as bestiality, so of course they would put it in the good book as something to avoid at all costs. But some of the things in the Bible are somewhat outdated; after all, who has sex just to make children these days? Well, the Bible commands it, but I don't know anyone who does it.

In my honest opinion, to ban gays and their happiness is to basically ban them from wanting to learn about God and allowing them their own relationship with Him, and I for one cannot agree with that. I would far rather see a gay couple walk into the church and worship the Lord in spirit and truth than some of the hypocrites that now grace the aisles and shout and sing louder than anyone else but go home and gossip and back bite worse than the most vicious snark. I can't get on board with making our religion exclusive to people who follow the rules of the Bible all of the time. If I did that, I couldn't even be a Christian, as I am a divorced woman and I don't know anyone who could live by the strict regimen the Bible provides. All I can truly hope for is doing the best I can and at the end of the day asking forgiveness for the things I didn't get quite right. And that's what Christianity SHOULD be.

So, though I think the guy who owns Chick-Fil-A has every right to stick to his guns and take his stand (because I also don't agree that we should all be mindless sheep nodding our head in unison to one person's idea of right) I also reserve the right to differ with his opinion. But I would hope that people remember that just because someone doesn't agree with you it doesn't equate to the end of the world. Stand strong on your own principles and let others stand strong on theirs! Because it takes all kinds to make up this funny world.

RJ said...

Awesome post. Very well said. No more Chik-fil-anti-gay for me.

California Girl said...

Did not know this.

Never eat there.

Never will.

I feel sorry for the chickens.

Laura Berry said...

I am pissed TWICE at this post. Once, because this jerkwad Cathy is making a huge issue of something that is a personal choice. The second, I take offense to the way the Christian religion was attacked here, as if we are all a bunch of bigoted morons. The problem is, as with any religion, you have your freako zealots, and it seems that he errs on this side. I happen to be a Christian. I am also a liberal, for the most part. Ghandi once said, "I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians... they are so unlike your Christ." The belief system isn't the problem, it's the assholes that USE it to be bigger, judgemental assholes (which the Bible he was supposed to shove in his ass speaks against, btw) SO, the bottom line is, this guy is a total asshat... but that's his fault, not "our" Jesus, thanks.