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Wednesday, July 11, 2012

A Comment on Comments

In a recent post called "10 Ways Being a Waiter Has Made Me a Better Person," I outlined things that I have learned while waiting tables that have carried over into my real life. Number five read as follows:

Multi-tasking. This goes right along with time management. If you ring in the drinks and then grab the water pitcher on your way to the side stand to get spoons, you can then drop the spoons at table 3, fill the waters at table 2 and then breeze by table 1 to tell them their drinks are on the way. This is handy in the real world at places like grocery stores, malls and while cleaning your apartment.

Someone took umbrage with that point and made their opinion explicitly clear in comment after comment after everlasting freakin' comment; eighteen of them to be exact. Well, now it's my turn in this comment on comments.

Said the person who has way too much time on their hands and an inability to turn off their CAPS LOCK KEY:

"That's only fair if you are putting in bar drinks. If you are putting in drinks you can get yourself like soft drinks, tea, water that type of thing, you are in the morally WRONG for letting CUTTING happen. What I mean is if table 1 actually asked for let's say a coke and an iced tea, you should be going to get that and not doing anything else, it's only *FAIR* and *MORALLY RIGHT* if you expect a good tip, understand?
It all has to do with WHO ASKED FOR WHAT FIRST.

If the waters would have been asked first, you should have not been putting drinks into the computer first. Understand what I am trying to say? BE FAIR and then your tip should show it is all I am sayin

Clearly NEVER been CUT in front of, have you? Like you have never had to wait 5 minutes for your check when you saw your server without being called over or had any previously ordered things go to other tables making *YOU* wait for what *YOU* asked for *FIRST*? I don't believe you that you aren't pissed, because NOBODY LOVES WAITING, NOBODY when they aren't supposed to wait, because it's their turn, not someone else's." 

Wow. Umm, okay, sir. I never thought about morals and ethics coming into play whilst serving tap water and frozen margaritas but I will now consider it. Okay I have considered it: fuck that. Waiting tables and serving customers has nothing to do with cutting in line and who deserves what first. Sure, if you came in first, then you should be sat before someone who came in after you. And for the most part, things are taken care of in the order they were asked for. However, not always. We don't keep mental track of who's turn it is. And how is a customer supposed to know if it's "their turn" or not? For example, a lady asks for more Ranch dressing because her arteries aren't clogged enough. I go to get that Ranch but on the way to the kitchen another tables asks for an extra napkin. Napkin-needer is right next to the side stand and it's easy to get that task taken care of and then carry on all the way to the kitchen to get the Ranch. Besides, the lady already had three sides of ranch. Does she really need a fourth? Another example: Table 1 orders a well done steak and a Frozen Mudslide. Three minutes later, table 2 is sat and they ask for tap water and a side salad. Am I supposed to let that side salad sit in the kitchen for twenty minutes while the steak is being cooked simply because the steak was ordered first and I should therefore serve it first? No. Am I supposed to wait the four minutes for the Frozen Mudslide to be made before I get a glass of water for table 2? Again, no. Am I supposed to be taking the extra Frozen Mudslide into the storage closet and downing it while cramming some french fries into my mouth? Yet again, the answer is no.

It's not about being MORALLY RIGHT or CUTTING IN LINE. It's about the greater good and how I can best take care of the needs of twenty-five different people all at the same time. Someone who has already had their appetizer and entree and is now waiting on dessert is going to come in second to the table who just ordered some calamari. The people who have already eaten are fine to wait two extra minutes for dessert while the people who have had no food at all need their food sooner. Here is another example: when I set down a burger and they ask for mayo, their request takes top priority because they can't eat their food until I get the condiment. If someone at the table next to them asked for more bread right before that, I'm gonna do the mayo first. Call me an IMMORAL WAITER, but that's how it's gonna roll. Besides, that lady does not need more bread. She's just had like four sides of Ranch. Enough already.

The person who made the comments is probably the same person who gets in the express line at the grocery store and calls out someone who has eleven items instead of ten. Or it's the person who demands a discount on their Greyhound bus ticket because there was traffic. Or he's the guy who gets a rain check coupon at Bed, Bath and Beyond when an advertised special has run out even though they didn't really want the item until they saw it was gone. "But it's MORALLY RIGHT for me to be able to buy that *FIVE PIECE CHEESE BOARD SET*  because it was ADVERTISED *IN THE PAPER* and NO, IT DOES NOT MATTER that I am LACTOSE INTOLERANT, but I"M JUST SAYIN'."


Oh comments. I love 'em. Keep 'em comin'.



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36 comments:

The Bitchy Waiter said...

Let's see if that commenter sees this or not!

Estrellita said...

Fair? Wow! I had no idea that 5 year old girls read your blog. Morally right? If she thinks that letting people 'cut' is the most immoral thing that goes on in a restaurant, she'd be appalled by what happens after a shift drink or two. I hope I never have the pleasure of waiting on this needy, attention starved twat.

Peace said...

It is called 'Entitlement Disorder' and as you well know *anyone in a customer service job knows* it is a disorder that is UNDER DIAGNOSED and is running rampant through society. 6 out of 10 males and 9 out of 10 females have it and it is 100% contagious to children.

rubireyes said...

Really? Cutting? Are we in grade school on the lunch line? Obviously this moron has never waited a table in their life or they would know what every good server knows: Multitasking is key to keeping every table happy. What a turd.

Renee said...

I've actually had a guest get mad at me because I greeted a table that sat down after them (even tho all of this happened where I could not see it). I was triple sat in open seating, meaning ppl sat at dirty tables. I greeted the first table, which was clean, then worked to clean off the next 2 which were dirty. The 3rd table, a woman, threw a fit. She eventually got kicked out. Did I mention this was an Olive Garden? You've got to act like quite the damn fool, to get kicked out of an Olive Garden. :)

My rule with bar drinks, I bring them water while Im waiting, and explain the other drinks come from the bar. Then they know I'VE made sure they have something to drink. At that point I can come and go freely with non-bar drinks. Many times it's just about educating your guests on the situation. If there is no consoling them, well they're fuckin crazy and need to go. :)

Adam said...

Man, i'm glad when I wait my tables that I don't let all these "moral" conundrums befuddle my brain. I'd be weeded pretty quickly. Sure, first come first serve is how waiting goes, but it's an issue of time management vs need -- someone who's waiting for dessert should be in less of a hurry than someone who just got their entree and needs a side of something. And I can probably pull the bread out of the oven and check on the status of the dessert while getting the side of mayo, maybe even run all three with one trip..

rcorrell said...

I'm sorry but I stopped reading after the first paragraph of the comment to the comment. It was painful.

Anonymous said...

Is this a man or a woman? Not like it matters, this person is CRAZY, but it sounds awful lot like my OCD neighbor (Jose). hahaha

Anonymous said...

wow...someone wasn't a service industry slave or was trained horribly!

www.DiatribesAndOvations.com said...

Many people should, quite honestly, stay at home cook their own GD food.

Desaix said...

What do you suppose this person does on a flight when s/he asks for something the flight attendant doesn't have on the cart and will need to retrieve from the galley? Hope s/he doesn't expect the FA to back up the cart right then and there just because it's her/his "turn".

Anonymous said...

Wow, as a former server for over 20 years I agree with your take on the situation. Multitasking is key in any position but is most useful when waiting. I had a trick that I used at every table. I would inevitably take any and every possible request that could be needed to their table with their drinks, extra napkins, condiments.. you name it, this caused less confusion and led to better tipping , but then I am one of those people who has a Boy-Scout complex where I need to always be prepared for any situation. Explanation is always a key to good service. I always spoke when I walked by my tables whether they asked for me or not and I would never walk into a dining room without a pitcher of something in one hand. I also infamously was fired from a job for telling someone to go to Burger King if they expected to have it their way... when they expected me to seat a party of 20 with no notice and there was only a two top available ,which I did indeed seat first. I was rehired the next day as the new floor manager. ;-)

erin said...

Bitchy, I believe you just got trolled phantom restaurant blogger aka "Lordes"and "springs1"?

Vicki said...

Does anyone else feel like the older they get the more stupid other people are? LOL--I can see taking the orders in the order that the people were seated--that's just common sense and polite--but to complain because you have different needs for different parties and you take care of them in the order that you reach the tables is just ridiculous...Gods but i do hate stupid people. *sigh*

Anonymous said...

I love this "Spring1" person... She has commented on EVERY restaurant blog/post on the internet with the same egotistical and "moral" posts. She honestly just provides an example of someone that has never worked in a restaurant and thinks that they are entitled to everything. She is the reason that I am cynical and use sarcasm when addressing a lot of patrons.

Peace said...

What it is Vickie, is as you age your BullS**t tolerance drops - if you're in the service industry (of any kind) it drops at a rate that is 10X faster!!!
And the person making these 'MORALLY RIGHT' comments, indicated that it was a FEMALE - who knew??!!

JoBo said...

I just KNEW you would write something about that twat-waffle's comments! It was actually painful to read that shit the other day. He/She has some serious issues! I read a blog "it" wrote about being a good server, blew my mind... I'm just so glad to have seen this post before that piece of shit decided to comment IN ALL CAPS about how MORRALLY WRONG you are! Holier than thou types just piss me off. Sheesh, she would probably blow a gasket if she ever really came to be in a real moral situation. Keep it up Bitchy, you are the best!

And if you read this Springs1, You are a douche-canoe....

Frank Giannantonio said...

Nit-picking, Mr. Know-It-All, fucking tool. Trying to come off like he knows something without realizing that a lot of restaurants will write you up if you don't immediately ring up whatever the guest ordered. Even if it's an ice water. (NoBev $0.00)

It also just happens to be very efficient. Dick.

Anonymous said...

The commenter would quickly 'get it' in one trip to the emergency room with a life threatening condition.
"Sorry! First in-first out!"
:P

~The Damn Yankee

lala said...

A woman, and a stupid one at that.

Sasha said...

WOW! What a dumbass. I served for 7 years before finishing school and becoming a nurse. Serving gave me great time management skills and the ability to orchestrate...and yes, I've carried those skills over into my new job. That person would probably light me on fire!!! Did you see their 'blogs'....to funny....

DMT said...

Logic, humor and some personal barbs, that had everything I love in a blog post.

Witer, singer and a damn fine wordsmith. You sir are one heck of a triple threat!

Anonymous said...

Marry me, Bitchy!
I heart you! :)

I think that the commenter that we are all commenting on might google their name in some sick, narcissistic ritual. So by everyone throwing out this person's (I use the term "person" loosely) screen name we are all fueling the fire.
You can't reason with the unreasonable. Let us all just rejoice with the knowledge that it is better to be us than it is to be it.

purplegirl said...

I knew before even looking that it was the infamous Springs1. I can't believe that woman is STILL going off on this same stupid shit.

nevernakednails said...

So its totally weird that you must be talking about a former manager of mine from bk, who actually douses everything in ranch, most especially her dinner rolls/bread and would definitely be completely pissed if she saw you giving out napkins before her beloved lifesource of buttermilky goodness..actually it sounds like that could have been her doing the extreme commenting lol

SARAH L said...

I could care less if my server at any restuarant at any given time takes someone else food or drinks etc...as long as I get my stuff in some sort of timely manner. I won't get my feelings hurt over it like this turd apparently does. Some people are just stupid.

Elizabeth said...

Springs1 has also turned up on some maternity boards. There's a scary thought! She's BREEDING!!! I wonder if she will lactate RaNCh DrESSinG?!?!?

Anonymous said...

as a server we are trained to save steps, multitask, etc. morals? haha our guests lose all morals and human decency the minutes they are at our table! " get me this or that" what? no please or thank you? I've been serving for 25 years mostly in family style restaurants.

Springs1 said...

Renee
"My rule with bar drinks, I bring them water while Im waiting, and explain the other drinks come from the bar. Then they know I'VE made sure they have something to drink. At that point I can come and go freely with non-bar drinks."

Without their consent you shouldn't be bringing out water. It's *NOT* YOUR DECISION, WHY DO YOU WANT TO HAVE 100% CONTROL, HUH? YOU AREN'T PAYING THEM, YOU WANT *THEIR* MONEY, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

"I've actually had a guest get mad at me because I greeted a table that sat down after them (even tho all of this happened where I could not see it). I was triple sat in open seating, meaning ppl sat at dirty tables. I greeted the first table, which was clean, then worked to clean off the next 2 which were dirty. The 3rd table, a woman, threw a fit. She eventually got kicked out. Did I mention this was an Olive Garden? You've got to act like quite the damn fool, to get kicked out of an Olive Garden. :)"

YOU should have been WRITTEN UP for not doing things in the MORALLY CORRECT ORDER. I would have written you up for doing that ON PURPOSE. THAT'S 100% TOTAL DISRESPECT FOR THE CUSTOMER AND THEN EXPECT THEIR MONEY, WTF?

Springs1 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Springs1 said...

rubireyes
"Multitasking is key to keeping every table happy."

But that's the point, you are *NOT* keeping EVERY TABLE happy, you are ONLY catering to the people that asked for stuff *AFTER* the first table and making them wait twice as long as they should.

IT'S NOT MAKING EVERY TABLE HAPPY. I don't understand how you can say such a STUPID ASS THING? For example, we asked for a box, 15 minutes later he got the box getting other people's orders and even bringing them drinks with the free chips n' salsa even that they had JUST asked for BEFORE the box. 15 minutes for a box? COME ON SERIOUSLY? I was in a party of 4 altogether. The waiter if he wasn't called over or had to run previously asked for items should have just gone to get the box.

Another thing, one time we had asked for our check. They had a row on each side in the middle of the restaurant of half circle booths and on the end of each side was a computer. For sure one of them was not occupied and I am pretty sure they had another one somewhere else in the restaurant possibly near the kitchen area. Anyway, our waiter decided to make us wait 4 minutes to get the check. He went to another table, they apparently asked for a box which was *AFTER* our request and he GOT that box *******BEFORE********** he gave us our check. WTF DO YOU THINK THAT'S FAIR AND MAKING US HAPPY, HUH? Making people happy is doing what is MORALLY RIGHT BY NOT CUTTING!! WHY should their box come INSTANTLY when they were SECOND, HUH? ARE THEY KING OR QUEENS? NO, they aren't, so WTF should they get treated better than us when we did ask for our check first?

WHY do you think that it bothers people like us huh? DUH, because it's not making us happy, it's only making the 2nd table or 3rd table happy, but it's not making that 1st table happy, because they are made to wait longer than they are SUPPOSED to be.

"Really? Cutting? Are we in grade school on the lunch line?"

No, but adults have bitched about cutting. Think of the HUGE ISSUES they have on BLACK FRIDAY even how people are like WILD ANIMALS.

Here's a youtube video on how people DO *CARE* IF SOMEONE CUTS:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sB9nuXMhah8

Did you notice how ***********ADULTS*************ARE MAKING A **************HUGE DEAL*************** ABOUT THIS LINE CUTTER? SO YOU DON'T KNOW WTF YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT IDIOT!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Px8BHlnjAKA&feature=related

Did you notice in this video above, NONE of these people were CHILDREN, they were young adults or very close to adult age?

"What a turd."

YOU are a turd that condones line cutting. FUCK YOU AND I HOPE THAT A GUY LIKE THAT IPHONE CUTTER CUTS IN FRONT OF YOU!! FUCK YOU!!

Anonymous said...

Wow. That is some crazy ranting. My suggestion: eat at home. No one can cut (where's the line, exactly?) in your kitchen. That is the MORALLY RIGHT thing to do.

Springs1 said...

Anonymous
"No one can cut (where's the line, exactly?)"

Cutting with *TURNS*, just like at the DMV, there is NO "LINE", you take a number, understand?

Anonymous said...

I might agree with that, but you don't get to take a number. That's not how service in a restaurant works. There are many things that simply *can't* be taken care of in the order that you would prefer. The server is dependent on the kitchen, the bar, the host stand, a line at the computer, etc., to do the job. All of those simply aren't available at the time that you would like them to be. If service were as you wished it to be, the server would never be able to wait on more than one table in a section. Would you suggest that the server stand at the window waiting for your food while it was cooking so that they can make sure they bring it out before someone else's at the expense of every other guest being waited on?

Indeed, the mark of a good server is one who can prioritize and "triage" a situation so that time and effort is used effectively and efficiently. Were they to wait on you as you've suggested, service would be much, much slower than you imagine.

Triaging also means remembering how people treat you and how they tip. Possibly the server remembered someone at the table as being an awful, entitled person and knew it wasn't worth their time to bother with being prompt because the person could never be satisfied anyway?

Springs1 said...

Anonymous
"If service were as you wished it to be, the server would never be able to wait on more than one table in a section. Would you suggest that the server stand at the window waiting for your food while it was cooking so that they can make sure they bring it out before someone else's at the expense of every other guest being waited on?"

I AM *NOT* TALKING ABOUT WHATEVER YOU ARE!!

I am talking about let's say Jane Doe asks for 2 refills, the next table calls you over, they order a dessert, since Jane Doe asked for her refills first, you should go get the refills *BEFORE* putting in that dessert order into the computer. UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM GETTING AT?

If you have 2 sides salads on a tray of people that ordered *AFTER* the 2 entrées you also have on the tray you are bringing out, you can HAND IT OUT IN THE ORDER IN WHICH IT WAS TAKEN IN. NO EXCUSES TO DO THE WRONG THING!! If you can't handle bringing all of that without dropping it, you should bring out the entrées first since they were ORDERED FIRST to be *FAIR*!

Do you understand what I am getting at?

The things you are talking about IS ********NOT********** WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!!

"Were they to wait on you as you've suggested, service would be much, much slower than you imagine."

This is actually NOT TRUE, because we have waited *************LONGER*********** for what we asked for because the server did the situation above with the side salads giving them first to people that weren't even in the BUILDING at the time instead of OURS that we had *************BEENNNNNN******** ORDERED. YOU DON'T KNOW WTF YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!

Anonymous said...

Springs1, please kill yourself or at the very least, stay in your cave. I can only imagine the misery you cause everyone you encounter.