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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Can You Hear Me Now?

At the new job, there is absolutely no fucking communication between management and staff. All of the managers have their heads so far up their asses that they must not have a signal for their Blackberries, because they never respond to emails even though they initially told me that "email is the best way for us to all stay connected." Email is only as good as the person who opens the fucking emails, twats.

The schedule went up with a few conflicts for me because no one ever bothered to ask about my life. At the initial interview I told Holly Hobby about my other job and that I could only work certain days. "Sure. No problem. We love people who are willing to take only a few shifts a week so that maybe they'll be able to pick up extra shifts when we need it." Clearly, she did not know who she was talking to. Me pick up extra shifts? That's funny, Holly Hobby. At the first day of orientation, they gave us the spiel about our required five days of training and after we had completed those, they would let us know if we would be invited to stay on as a member of the team. (Finally, I could be on a team. Take that, all you assholes from junior high who chose me last to be on the kickball team.) I assumed that at that discussion they would also speak to us about our availability since they have a set schedule and I have a life outside their restaurant. That didn't happen. The schedule just went up willy nilly with me all over the place. After a couple of attempts, manager Linda Evans finally emailed me back saying she would send out an email to get the shift covered and "no worries." Great. I do not have to worry about it because to me, that is what "no worries" means. But I knew that today when I was supposed to be at work, there was going to be a communication breakdown and whichever manager was working would have no idea why I wasn't showing up. Supposed to be there at noon. At 12:15, my cell phone rang which I didn't answer because I was in the shower. Thirty seconds later the home phone rings and this is what I hear from the bathroom:
Uh, hi, Bitchy Waiter? Thith ith Lithpy Gay Manager? And I thee that you're on the thhedule for today? But I don't thee you here? Tho can you call me ath thoon ath you get thith methage? Thankth.

And yes he really talks that way and everything is in the form of a question. I want to find a period, stuff it in his mouth and cram the perpetual question mark up his ass hole. I knew this would happen. Linda Evans didn't cover my shift for me like she said she would and now I look like the douche bag new employee who doesn't give a shit about his new job. Okay, that may be true, but I don't plan on letting it be that obvious for at least three weeks. I called back and spoke to whichever host ho picked up the phone. Lispy Gay Manager was busy so she told me she would pass on my info and he would call me back if he needed to talk to me. He didn't call back, because I read the email from Linda Evans to the Host Ho that said she was taking care of it. He knew I was right.

Later today, I received an email that went out to the whole staff about shift coverage and the correct procedure. I know that it was sent on my behalf. And you know what? I won't be there on Sunday either for the same reason: I have another job, I told you I did, you said it was okay, and Linda Evans said she'd take care of it. What a fucking joke this place is. I gave up unemployment benefits for this?


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14 comments:

Mary A. said...

Hmmmmm. . .. seems to me if I am the manager (and actually, I am a manager) and one of my staff lets me know ahead of time that they won't be somewhere, but I need the shift covered because MY boss expects it covered. . . .I would actually make sure it was covered.

See, that's why they have MANAGERS. Managers are there to ensure the operations are covered.

It's not because we need more assholes in the world.

hurthim said...

oh the lovely world of communication and lack there of....there is an old soft cell song called frustration you should play it on lispy manager's phone, on a positive note I'm loving your blog right now this new cast of characters is a lot more exciting than anything happening on All My Children right now

bruce said...

fucking funny as hell, man...

i feel your pain...been there before...

Bouncin' Barb said...

This was too funny. I haven't heard "twat" since I lived in Jersey 23 years ago. That put a smile on my face. In high school in the 70's it was normal for me to speak of those bitches as "twat face" or "bitch face". LOL

Levonne said...

I feel your pain in this post Bitchy Waiter. Oh man, with this kind of stuff going on, I don't know how you're going to make a go of it there. Keep on writing.

Kara Hoag said...

Unfortunately, it seems as though not all managers share the same viewpoint as Mary A. I find too often that I have a hard time getting my manager to listen to me just because they are a manager. I've actually been told this by them more than once.

karahoag.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

This is exactly how the managers can weed through the newbies!! Make it difficult for them, but, if you're worth keeping as an employee, all of this schedule crap will be pointless!! Soon you will be able to do no wrong as long as you show up and do an awesome job! Signed, a long time waiter too tired to sign up for an account...so will have to be anonymous tonight ...xo bitchy!

the good-buy girl said...

Hi bitchy waiter, I have been reading your blog for a very long time now but just "formally" followed you the other day. I have to tell that over the past year my husband & I have operated a soup & sandwich shop in the downstairs of our 1890s home. Well, that is until 2 months ago when we decided to close. But, I have to tell you that over that year, we absolutely hated doing that job. But, every evening when we closed we came upstairs and read your blog and it ALWAYS turned our day around. We always laughed and most of the time said "we can relate to that" - especially those who order "water with lemon". Now that we are out of the business we are on to another project (like selling the house & everything in it) but we still love to read your blog everyday. Just thought you should know that "you" really make a difference. Congrats on your new job, I think! Kim

yellowcat said...

I worked for a husband & wife set of managers and if she said, "no worries" I was bound to have a lot of them. I HATE that phrase.

The Empress said...

With jackarses like Linda Evans, Holly Hobby and Lispy it's a wonder they can even manage to keep the doors open at that restaurant!

This new batch of posts is incredibly entertaining I just wish you didn't have to deal with all those f*ckwits. You are clearly too good for the lot of them! xo

http://rantersbox.blogspot.com

leia said...

after reading your post, i tried saying "twat" with a lisp and i couldn't stop laughing. THANKS! :D

***ladyvader99.blogspot.com***

SkippyMom said...

Thanks leia, now I am doing it and laughing hysterically. My kids are going to wonder. heehee

Sorry about the pain in a*sses BW but the onus is on them because you have the vaunted "communication" from Linda E. Run with it.

Peet said...

i'm thinking unemployment sounds pretty good compared to this place!

Wendy said...

Bad management. Period. (Duh- I know.) One thing I pride myself on was never having conflicts with the schedule (back in the days when I managed / worked hospitality).