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Sunday, November 7, 2010

This Manager Thinks the Restaurant is Her Dynasty

In my continuing series of first impressions of the people at my new job, let us focus our attention on another manager that we shall refer to as "Linda Evans." Not because she looks like the pristine flower Krystle Carrington from the hit television show of the '80's, Dynasty, but because I always wanted a poodle named Krystle Carrington and this lady might be as close as I ever get. On my second day at work, I was standing near the bar when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and it was her. "Hi, I'm Linda Evans and I'm a manager. I need you (pause) to tuck your shirt in." I quickly apologized and did as I was told only to look up and see that she had vanished. Really? That's how you're going to introduce yourself to a new employee? I had seen her for two days already and thought she was host because she never said one word to me. And before you think I was being slobby or disrespectful about leaving my shirttails untucked let me inform you that I reached that decision very carefully. I noticed that most of the women did not have their shirts tucked in and none of the bartenders did including the guys. So I felt more comfortable with mine untucked as well. All it ever does is come untucked anyway whenever I reach up to a high shelf, bend over to pick up some crap off the floor or fall to my knees asking "Why God? Why? Why didn't I want to grow up to be a doctor?" Linda Evans had nothing else to say to me that day. But I watched her. And I questioned why it was me that had to have my shirt tucked in? And who was she to make that style-based decision? This chick has a nose ring, a lip piercing, was wearing tight black stretch pants and tacky ass Uggs looking boots with a fur vest? Really? My shirt was what was inappropriate? Okay, Linda Evans.

Linda Evans has not said much else to me. I had to discuss my schedule with her because she wrote it out completely ignoring the fact that I told them I could only work part-time because I have another job and a life. She scheduled me all over the fucking week with conflicts up my ass. She told me to email her and she would take care of it. Thirty-six hours have passed since I sent the email and still no word. I will not be there on Tuesday, Linda Evans. The only other time she has approached me was last night. I accidentally shut a cabinet hard too hard and it made a little bit of noise. She rushed over to me and told me I needed to be quiet. Now it was 9:00 on a Saturday night, we were packed, you could barely hear yourself think, but she told me that I shut the cabinet too loud. Why not go over to the ten top at table 14 who are on their fifth bottle of wine and ask them to bring it down a decibel or two? They have been screaming their heads off but the cabinet door I shut is what is too loud. Linda Evans clearly has a need to tell people what to do. And get this: I think I am old enough to be her father. I kinda hate her for that reason alone. I want to send some Alexis Carrington Colby over to this chica and slap the shit out of her.


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15 comments:

Lolamouse said...

She clearly finds you threatening! She's trying to assert her status in any pathetic way she can.

carmar76 said...

i agree w/ lolamouse. she's trying to make you quit. or she's crazy. could go either way. lol

TwisterB said...

I had a manager like this, except not cool enough to be on TV (even a reality show). She drove me insane/to tears by the end of every shift.
Eventually she got promoted out of our unit. I wish she had been fired, but I'll take what I can get.

Bouncin' Barb said...

can I slap her too? what an ass.

Levonne said...

I like the way your turn adversity into art! Keep on keeping on Bitchy Waiter!

Mary A. said...

But I LIKE Linda Evans! She was so beautiful. Her shoulder pads were always perfect. Her hair winged in just the right way. And she always had these red stabby stabby nails. Like buttah.

I spent my Jr. High years trying to BE her.

Sigh.

The Empress said...

That bitch sounds like a real treat! Perhaps you should walk up to her and say "You remind me of someone from this dating show. OMG was that really you? How did it turn out?" That should shut her the eff up for a while.

http://rantersbox.blogspot.com

Maryam said...

What a weirdo! I have a number of teachers at university who are like that, scheduling extra classes all the time. I guess she's just some bossy bitch who wants to assert her authority all the time. And this was just her way of trying to leave an impression on you.

CarrieAnn said...

I'm going to google my boss now...

bruce said...

take her down and pat her on the genitals...thats what i tell all new dog owners to do...it is a show of AlphaAuthority...it may work...or it may make for an interesrting blog...(not that you need any help...awesome post as uusal)

Anonymous said...

Go to another manager (preferably this bitch's supervisor) and ask, "I'm a little confused as to the dress code here. Am I supposed to wear my shirttale in or out?" Cite the practices by others. If the response is "Out", then mention that you need clarification because another manager reprimanded you for wearing your shirt tale out. DO NOT SAY WHOM. The next time you are reprimanded by Linda Evans, mention the conflicting guidance and ask her if she could confer with the other managers on the issue since you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. If she gets nasty, you have a legitimate complaint to take to her boss and she will be called down.

If the response is "In" then when the edict comes down from above regarding shirt-tales, you can mention to your co-workers that it is Linda Evans' preference and evidently the big bosses agree. This will make her even more despised.

One last tip. Find an article on bullying in the workplace and send it to the big boss with a type-written note saying that this is going on in the restaurant. Even though anonymous notes are not supposed to be taken seriously, it will prompt some scrutiny. If others have complained about her, it may result in some appropriate discipline.

Sharlene T. said...

You can always tell a person's character when they've been given a little power... Steer clear of this hornet, or you'll always hate going to work... (like, who doesn't?)... Come visit when you can...

MichelleLCSW said...

Ugh. Hating her FOR you!

Augustana said...

I have a Linda Evans as a manager, too. Only, think ex-stripper with fake boobs and a supposed cocaine habit. Changes the schedule on a whim, nitpicks when everything is right, talks down to me in front of customers and other employees and laughs like she's joking.

Kick her in the shins. That's my plan.

Kristine said...

She wants you. I have seen this kind of thing before.

I'm sorry if that ruined your meal, or made you fall to your knees asking Dog why you did not become an archivist. (BTW, about that, we need to talk.)
:-D