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Saturday, November 27, 2010

Frazzled But Happy Stay-at-Home Mom

Seeing that it is Saturday, and no one reads this shit on the weekend, I shall continue with the adventures of The Frazzled but Happy Stay-at-Home Mom:


Oh my goodness gracious, dear readers, I am exhausted. Is it just me or does Thanksgiving sap away your energy too? I got up on Turkey Day (gobble gobble) at 4:00 AM because I had so many things to do. All of it cooking! I made a turkey but I also baked a ham, made a pot roast and created my first ever Tofurkey Meatloaf because we had so many people come over and I wanted everyone to have their choice of food to give thanks over. Of course my husband was there and the kiddos, but we also had 12 guests. That made for 16 people. Whew! We were going to have my parents over as well as my sister and her family but my sweet husband had the best idea ever. He wanted to have something called an "Orphan Thanksgiving" which shows you how caring and sweet that darling precious man of mine is. An Orphan Thanksgiving is when you extend an invitiation to anyone else who may not have someplace else to go for Thanksgiving. Not actual orphans I suppose, but just people who don't have any family nearby. Since we have place settings for 16, we decided that we could invite a dozen people. I was going to invite the homeless man who washes the windows at the church, but my dear sweet husband filled up those slots so quickly that I had to rescind my invite to Wally the Window Washer. I also wanted to invite our neighbor who lost her husband three weeks ago, but Hubby was insistent that his guests were more in need. So his guest list is what we had.


All twelve of the young girls he invited were so sweet. Various women from his job and his volunteer work and they were all very gracious. Dinner was set for 3:00, so from the time I got up, I had eleven hours to get everything ready. It was a challenge, because two of the girls had a gluten allergy, four were vegetarian one was vegan and eleven of them were "watching their weight." One girl was fine with anything I served and seemed a bit depressed the whole day. I noticed that she kept giving my hubby an odd look, so she must be very sad that she can't be with her family at this time of year. I don't know why any of them needed to watch their figure because all of them were about a size 2 and pretty as a picture. They all loved my cooking. And you know how they say that the tryptophan in turkey makes you sleepy? It does! Within minutes of finishing dinner, all of the girls needed a nap right away. Some of them hadn't even had turkey so it must have been contagious, LOL. They all went down to the basement into my husband's office for a nap and hubby even joined them while I cleaned up the dishes. (I do wish he would give me a key to his office so I could clean it once in a while. Who knows how much dust is in there and I can't believe the company might think I'm not a good housekeeper!) The 13 of them stayed in there for two and a half hours sleeping off dinner. One girl came up to get some Gatorade because she said the Tofurkey meatloaf made her thirsty, but she hurried right back in as soon as she was finished. Now before you think I am completely naive, let me say something: I know they weren't sleeping in there. I heard one of them say something about new underwear so I am pretty sure that my husband was enlisting their help for my Christmas present. He knows that the best way to find out what a woman wants for a gift is to ask another woman, so I let him stay in there and devise the perfect plan for his Christmas shopping. Last year, the poor dear was so busy with work, he only had time to make me a handmade gift certificate good for one free kiss whenever I wanted it. (I still have it, Hubby. LOL!!)

Well, readers, I must go. I did all my Christmas shopping yesterday and I am ready to start wrapping gifts. I love the holidays almost as much as I love my Hubby and kids. LOL.



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15 comments:

Laura Fletcher said...

I LOVE THE FRAZZLE BUT HAPPY STAY AT HOME MOM! More posts! So hilarious.

donna reed said...

Oh, Bitchy, you never cease to amuse me.

Bouncin' Barb said...

Do we ever get to know what hubby was doing in there with those girls? Or is it just up to my imagination that he was doing some very naughty things? haha

Gabriele Agustini said...

I. for one, read your blog daily!.
Usually first thing in the morning, to start my day off right -
The Bitchy way!! :)

Anonymous said...

that is an impressive orgy

bruce said...

once again the Bitchy Waiter impresses...

i hope that i can find some six=ze two girls to help me find the right undies and stuff for my wife...

last year i bought her a new crock pot..

Bruce
bruce johnson jadip
and
stupid stuff i see and hear

The Empress said...

I love reading your blog regardless of the day. That poor frazzled mom. Such a chipper and industrious haus frau yet completely clueless!

http://rantersbox.blogspot.com

Brenda Susan said...

Hilarious! Thanx for the saturday chuckle!

G said...

Damn.

Gotta give you credit. I thought I wrote posts that skewered myself mercilessly, but these posts are so anti-Bitchy Waiter that its like stepping into the Twilight Zone or the Night Gallery.

Somehow, I can picture "Frazzled" keeping the piece with an AK-47 at her side.

Practical Parsimony said...

I read your blog every day! the Frazzled Housewife is soooo funny. I love the way she always imagines the best from her husband while we KNOW what he is up to.You are so very clever. Yeah, planning a wonderful gift for her.

Anonymous said...

Please believe that we read this on the weekend!!!!!

Brandon with Shop Handmade Jewelry said...

Your blog is always a good laugh, any day of the week!

zker said...

haha!!!that man must have some serious stamina (you know.to discuss gifts with all those women for so long ;))

check me out.Im kinda new to blogging so dont be too hard on me
http://zker-zker.blogspot.com/

Corey said...

I do read on the weekends! i do! haha

glad your thanksgiving was great, and your black friday shopping was BETTER! mine too :)

Nataly Mor said...

God, I hate this b*tch!! Keep it coming.. ;)