Around the country, the smell of turkey and dressing is wafting through the air and mouths are watering for the first bite of pumpkin pie. Families are gathering around the table in anticipation of giving thanks and stuffing themselves with food until they can no longer move. Here in my house, the only food aroma that is happening is that of the Crunchy Peanut Butter Cliff bar that I bought for myself to serve as a snack when I go to work. I was scheduled to work at the new job seeing that they had about 525,600 reservations, but things changed. I will now be serving in the home of some rich folks on the Upper West Side. I say rich because if they can afford to live on the Upper West Side and they can spend money to have someone like me come in and be their maid for five hours, then they must have money to burn. I don't mind. The expected tip for something like that is about a hundred bucks and the entire thing will go into my pocket. There will be no busser, food runner, host, barista, bartender or barback to split it with leaving me only $35. It will be all mine. When you factor in the hourly wage, it makes for a keen day of earning indeed. Basically I will be warming up their food, putting it on serving plates and then cleaning up afterwards. It's very glamorous. Actually, I don't mind at all. When the family drama starts happening and Aunt Judy has too much wine and gets all handsy with her niece's boyfriend, I can turn a blind eye and just go wash a plate.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone out there. Enjoy your day and carry on your traditions. And there is one more tradition that I must acknowledge. It is a new one that started last year. It's the one where you throw a big ass frozen ham into the face of Paula Deen. It's a damn good tradition. Every time I watch the video, it brings a smile to my face. I am also utterly surprised that Paula didn't just catch that ham with her teeth in mid air and swallow it whole. Watch the video and give thanks. Happy Thanksgiving.