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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Rock Me Like a Hurricane

I have been distributing resumes for the last week or so on the prowl for that illusive thing known as "a new job." I got a call yesterday for an interview and I was all excited because the place is new and it has a music theme which I thought might be kinda neat-o. The best part of it is that they are right next to the subway stop so my commute would be easy breezy beautiful. They asked me if I was free on Thursday and I said yes. I got the address and the details and then they threw this comment out at me:

Oh, and we are going to let the staff decide on what the uniforms will be, so wear some kind of rock and roll outfit to the interview, alright? Cool. Bye bye.

Wait, what? Now I have to come up with a fucking costume for this interview? Don't get me wrong, I am all about costumes. (Case in point.) But what the hell is a rock and roll outfit? I know that when I get there it's going to be crawling with people who think the better their outfit is the better chance they will get the job. As if putting on some tight leather pants automatically makes you a good server. It reminds me of this time I went to an audition for the musical "Hair" and everyone was dressed like hippies. Seriously, one chick had flowers in her hair and went into the the audition room barefoot. I can picture on Thursday a bunch of Heart loving hostesses with big hair and ripped t-shirts. I have no idea what I will wear. Some thoughts:
  • I can dress like Billy Joel circa 1980, "It's Still Rock and Roll to Me" with black shirt, skinny tie and red blazer.
  • I can dress like Brett Michaels and wear a bandanna and a black t-shirt with skull and crossbones.
  • I can dress like Elvis, the "King of Rock and Roll."
  • I can dress like Bonnie Tyler in "Total Eclipse of the Heart" just because I could really rock that look.
  • I can wear a "I ♥ Rock and Roll" t-shirt and just say I like Joan Jett.
  • Buddy Holly? I have glasses like that somewhere.
  • I could wear leather pants and blow my hair out to try to emulate a certain hair metal band that my brother used to listen to and I could hear blaring through my bedroom wall as I tried to listen to the "Yentl" soundtrack.
  • Would dressing like Kiss be too much?
  • Or I can just wear my skinny jeans and throw some eyeliner on and let my resume speak for itself.
I really don't know what I am going to wear. I really dread it, but I need the job. It's like applying for a job at Disney or Bubba Gumps. I actually have a pair of leather pants that have been delegated to the back of the closet because I thought they might be handy for a Halloween costume someday. But to wear them out in public tomorrow? I'd want to tell everyone who sees me that I'm not serious. Just hire me and then tell me what to wear. Hey, maybe I can dress like one of the Go-Go's! Nah, they were punk rock/new wave not rock and roll. Now that I think about it, waiting tables in leather might not be so bad. I bet honey mustard wipes right off of leather.

What do you think I should wear?




23 comments:

Lynn Sponagle said...

Since it seems to be some sort of contest to select a uniform, I suggest it be something you wouldn't mind working in.

Clear thinking said...

I'd rock the shirt and tie. Then if or when they mention pull a clark kent and bust out the I love rock and roll shirt underneath.


Oh Yeaaaaaaa.

Twinkie said...

Definitely the Billy Joel or the skinny jeans and eyeliner. It shows that you're more about the serving than the costume, but you're not a stick in the mud, either. GLHF

TwisterB said...

Why don't you dress like Russel Brand (minus the stage 'do). He basically wore his regular clothes during get him to the greek....

Waiter At Arm's Wife said...

Go with the eyeliner, the skull and crossbones t-shirt with the black button down over it and definitely the leather pants. Maybe add a bright scarf as a belt, or a funky belt. This is still NYC and you know when in doubt, wear black.

Anonymous said...

Billy Idol.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't go too wild but like the other say, the shirt and the tie sound cool, or the skinny jeans and eyeliner. I think I saw this restaurant ad on Craigslist recently myself! Sounds like they are taking the costume thing seriously. I hope you get the job so we get hilarious stories about the place.

Anonymous said...

PS I almost spit my soda out when you referenced the Yentl soundtrack. Bitchy, can you hear me?

Scarlett said...

You can never go wrong with some well-done eyeliner, big lashes, and a pair of skinny jeans. Rock star attitude, but still something you wouldn't mind wearing to work every day.

Mark W said...

I've never met you, BW, but I imagine you probably have the Bonnie Tyler hair already. Problem solved!

:p

Jamesrfitz said...

Copy Jim Morrison's look (The Doors for all of you young people who wouldn't know) and be sure to stuff a large cucumber where it will show effectively.

Annoyed said...

Trying to help you out so I did a little research - Googled "Rock and Roll clothes" and got:

Rock And Roll Clothes Online.
Free Ship on $50 -Men's Clothing.
www.Target.com

So, there you go. You can officially get everything you need at Target. Bwahahaha.

Server (Waiter) At Arms said...

Why not go as George Michaels when he was in wham, or maybe as Duran Duran or even Aha, after all they were all the 80's but then maybe you could dress like Freddie Mercury (Queen).....

Above all enjoy it and have fun, hey maybe everyone at the interview will decide to do a bar crawl through New York to top it all off......

Oh and BW.......... Good Luck

Laura Leane said...

I think you would look GREAT in an Elvis Costello inspired ensemble, emphasis on the "inspired". Don't forget the Ray Bans ;) Good luck!

LadyRapunzel said...

Definitely don't go too over the top, or else they might really love it and then you have to do that shit every day.

Mary A. said...

I second the cucumber comment. Not that you'd need it.

Bagel Fairy said...

Remember when The Red Hot Chili Peppers all walked onto the stage wearing nothing but socks over their dicks? I think that'd go over really well.

Winston said...

Oh, just wear a black leotardand poke your head and arms through a pasteboard box. Affix to the front of it a Rockola jukebox poster. Hand the interviewer a quarter and pray he/she punches the right number and PRESTO! you get the job!

The Restaurant Manager said...

I'm not really sure what you should wear... but I really hope you post a picture of what ever you decide!

badbadwebbis said...

Billy Joel-style! The 80s were awesome (not that you would know because you are so young).

Can you do a Flock of Seagulls hairdo to go along with it?

sweet laura jane said...

Try Freddie Mercury's look. Jim Morrison's look is too straight but he's def my type.

Re: costumes at work?
Maybe they read that your an actor. And want you to put out.

Soooo....do that, wink.

Mrs. Hyde said...

Dear God,
Please let bitchy get a job at a rock 'n roll restaurant so that I may be entertained by his stories of aging rockers and bratty kids in drag.

Amen

a bitch called mom

Anonymous said...

Flock of Seagulls hair with skinny jeans and a blazer! I'm just dying to hear about this interview.