- Customers cannot ask a tablet for its personal opinion on the special soup of the day. Will a tablet tell you that the creamy spinach soup tastes like ass?
- When you find a hair in your food, you really want to have a waitress to blame for it.
- If all orders are taken by the device, who will the cooks bitch at when they fuck up an order?
- If you go into an Applebee's with your toddler, you expect him to be served a margarita instead of apple juice. Will a tablet do that? I don't think so.
- What about senior citizens who can't even operate a DVR remote control? How in the hell are they supposed to figure out how to use a tablet to order a cup of extra hot decaf, a water with no ice and a bowl of chicken soup with no salt? And who will bring them their mug of hot water so they can rinse the silverware before they use it?
- Will dirty old men still feel the need to grab the ass of the tablet whenever it bends over to pick up something off the floor?
- If there are no waiters, who will be responsible for wiping down these dirty sticky tablets at the end of the day?
- How are tablets going to wear skid-resistant shoes from Payless?
- Who will drunk older women flirt with if all they have is a battery-operated device that can service all their needs? Oh, wait. Forget that one.
- What will happen when the tablets break down? And you know they will break down. Any restaurant turns into a cluster fuck when the computers go down for even a second, so what will customers do in this dire situation?
- If there are no waiters, who will managers suppress?
- How will a tablet take an undercooked burger back to the kitchen even though the customer asked for it medium rare and then ask the cooks to please burn the fuck out of the patty until it resembles a goddamn hockey puck?
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